Connections; A Little Bit of Spring Madness

Sitrep: Nada. My "Fire" Element is seriously depleted.

Yesterday I attended a meeting with my new boss and our printer. We were meeting to discuss options and deadlines for our annual convention materials. The new boss wants to change things up this year (Yay!) after 20+ years of the same thing. Just printed in different colors. [insert rolling of eyes]. The two of them met briefly at R.'s retirement reception in the office. So this was a get-to-know meeting as well. Except they really sorta know each other...they both grew up in this town.

As I listened to them go through the

"We lived two blocks from...."
"Went to H Elementary School..."
"So did I..."
"Weren't you...."
"I remember him/her/them..."
"That's my sister...."
"Didn't she marry..."
"Yeah, he graduated..."

I felt a tiny little pang of envy. I wonder what that's like, living someplace where you're connected to so many people, things, events, places. A kind of loose-knit sweater of your life and history. Is it a warm feeling, or stifling? Scratchy and itchy, or soft and smooth? Maybe it's all of those.

I don't regret the way I was brought up. Living so far from extended family kept us very close, I think, as a small family unit with Mom, Dad, brother and sisters. I got to see things and explore places and learn things I wouldn't have otherwise. It's what made me as Strong an individual as I am today.

Maybe it wasn't so much a pang of envy, as one of curiosity. It's just not something I can easily comprehend. I guess the closest I could come to that is the cul-de-sac where my family moved when I was twelve. But even there there's only one family that's lived there since we were there. A few moved in when I was fifteen, one later, the others after I was in college/graduated college. I have one friend I've known since kindergarten, and she and her parents and her brothers are parts of the web of my life for those early few years, a few in college, brief little intertwinings since then. Maybe it's just like that, only on a larger scale, with your parents and siblings and relatives webs more closely overlapping yours.

It was just an interesting feeling, watching, listening, feeling that connection.

A Little Bit Of Spring Madness
The container garden has grown.
Green beans, carrots, romaine lettuce, green onions, bell peppers, and potatoes.
Basil, catnip (no, I didn't get a cat), chives, lemongrass, two varieties of sunflowers.
And a self-pollinating lime tree.

I believe I've said before that I'm really good at planning. We'll see how the execution goes.

Sing or Whine

Sitrep: 1x Boot Camp (all of it! except last cover drill)

Every once in awhile I read something that hits home. Something that makes me stop and think or see more clearly or clarifies something or reminds me of what I already know. Last night was one of those nights, so I thought I'd share the passages here. It's from "The Circle Within" by Dianne Sylvan.

"On the outside we 'do unto others,' but on the inside there's a patchwork quilt of self-abnegation, societal stereotypes, the opinions of others, and every mean thing anyone has ever said to us eating away at our spirits while we smile at the world.

Far more important than the way others see us is how we see ourselves. The gods do not judge us, but we manage to do so quite well on our own, heaping self-loathing on ourselves that we would never direct toward others. Sometimes we are kinder to our enemies. We are taught from an early age, and by example, to be casually cruel to ourselves: 'I'm so fat,' 'I'm such an idiot,' 'I must be the ugliest person on Earth.' When you find yourself cursing the mirror, stop and think: would you walk up to a total stranger and say, 'My god, man, who hit you with the ugly stick?' If you would, put this book down and seek help.

If not, ask yourself why a complete stranger deserves compassion and you don't." (pg 44)

"The important thing isn't so much that s*&% happens, the important thing is what we do with the s*&% afterward. We can choose to remain victims, to act out of vengeance, or to curl up in a ball and hide, or we can choose to stand up and grow. No one can decide how tragedy will affect us but us. Sing or whine, it's our decision." (pgs 45-46)

I gotta stop drinking Hot Chocolate

Really. I think all this caffeine is making me think too much. LOL. It's probably not good for my diet, either. I think I downed 4 cups of the stuff yesterday. Eeek. And here I've been off of coffee for almost a year.

I've had an interesting horoscope the past 2 days. I get it on my Earthlink start page, and usually don't read it until the end of the day. Just so I can "verify" it hasn't influenced my choices, doncha know. (It's actually fairly accurate. Some days eerily so.)

I should have saved yesterday's. It basically told me my happy, lighthearted mood of the day wouldn't be appreciated in my social circles, and I should just go someplace quiet and read a good book. Gee, that's such a hard one for me to do. LOL.

Too bad I didn't read it until the end of the day. Because I did irritate a few "the-world-is-coming-to-an-end" moments yesterday for some coworkers. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. It's that darn imp that lives in my mouth and stomps on my tongue and kicks at my teeth until I have no choice but to open my mouth and let it speak....Apparently, I was too lighthearted for them. [It's just as apparent they don't read this blog. {g} 'Cause I was hardly lighthearted in yesterday's post! But it felt good to get it out of my mind.]

But I hardly think our HR director would accept calling in sick "because my horoscope told me to" as a valid excuse. Bummer. Anyway. Today's is auspicious. This is what it starts out with:

The current configuration of the planets will make you the bearer of a new philosophy, dear Aries.

Oh, I can have so much fun with this one! I've always wanted to be a goddess.

This doesn't mean that you will be "New Age," but more precisely that you will have ideas that have evolved from it.

Okay, I can see that. I do have a tendency to do this. ;)

It is rather easy to imagine you attending conferences given by the leading minds of the day.

Oh, I wish. But probably not gonna happen. I am in Montana. Guess we'll just have to stick with imagining this one. ;)

Most assuredly, you are searching for answers. But be careful about being too easily convinced by any "truth" that comes your way...

Okay, going to ignore any truths that come to me today. I can handle that, too. I'll just be an ostrich as well as a goddess. ;) Well, I'm off to spread my new philosophy (MOOG, people, MOOG) through the office... :)