Feeling Guilty? There's an app for that!

The Catholic church is going digital and entering the 21st century. A little bit, anyway. If you're too busy to go to confession, or just don't like going, you can now download a church-approved Confession app. No fooling!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-12391129

Thinking Too Hard

A few weeks ago while on the road for work, I stumbled across a new show on TLC. I'd seen previews for it, but hadn't particularly decided to watch or not to watch. I had some time to kill before taking our national faculty out for dinner, and seeing as how the hotel cable channel lineup was limited, I decided to watch. And have been watching ever since.

It's called Sis.ter W.i.ves, and follows a polygamist family in Utah. Up until now, I had assumed that all FLDS believers lived on compounds and kept out of the mainstream. You know, those weirdos that marry 12 year olds, and subjugate the women. Well, you know what they say about "assume". It makes an "a$$" of "u" and "me". I know better.

But anyway. This family is really interesting. It's one husband and three "wives", and among them they have 13 children. From teenagers to a newborn. (OMG! Can you imagine the chaos?) They all live in the same "house" but have separate apartments. So it's more like a three-plex. The husband is about to marry a fourth wife (at the instigation of the first).

Other People's Words

Found an interesting link on BBC today, about the difference between religious tolerance and freedom that I think is worth sharing:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-11200987

From there I found another link about the meaning of the word "liberal" that I thought fun. And confusing in a light-hearted sort of way.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-10658070

Just some things I'm thinking about lately. Especially the first one. It amazes me how people can believe in religious freedom so fervently, yet show very little tolerance. For me, they should be one and the same. I've been reading up on Is.la.m, and am finding (duh!) that the basic beliefs are extremely similar to Chri.sti.ani.ty (gasp!), J.ud.ais.m, and other religions. If people would just take the time to shut their mouths and use their brains to learn about what they don't know, instead of blindly following the loudest pack leader...

Round and Round the Mulberry Bush

It's been that kinda day, ya know? It all started when I woke up at 4 am and dozed off and on until 6am. Finally fell asleep only to have the alarm go off. At 6:52, which means I had to have been sleeping through it for 7 minutes. [g] No wonder the dog was antsy.

Then I put my pants on inside out and it took a few seconds for it to register why the zipper tab wasn't where it was supposed to be. Or the button. And this was after I'd showered and eaten breakfast.

It didn't get much better at work...silly me forgot to have the server in a different automatic updates schedule than the workstations and update server. So when the server shut itself down for a restart after installing those approved updates...I guess you could say it caught everyone unawares. That was fun. Not.

And since I feel like I've been in repetitive/backwards mode all day, here's something eerily similar to what I blogged about last week in Muddy Waters.

http://my.earthlink.net/article/nat?guid=20080430/4817eec0_3421_1334520080430803073911

I have to wonder at the timing of this. Did the events in TX give the person making the abuse report courage or the idea? Hard to say. I'm probably being paranoid, being as that's a pretty common state of being for me, but is this "open season" on non-mainstream faiths by local governments and/or religious opponents? Shades of the daycare child abuse scandal in the 1980's, perhaps.

At least I can end this post on a positive note a la Cranky Otter - I had a nice email chat with Dad this morning on Global Warming of all things. :) Just a sharing of ideas and info. That was very nice. :)

Muddy Waters

Sitrep: 1x Abs#1, 1x Arms

Like everyone else, I've been seeing/hearing stories about the F.LDS church in Texas that the government recently raided. 437 children were removed, large-scale DNA testing is being done, and now it appears it was all done on the basis of phone calls from a woman in another state with a known history of false reports of sexual abuse. How much of this was known in advance by the officials I don't know. But before I heard that I was uneasy reading the articles.

What bothers me is the limited evidence (if it can be called that) that prompted the raid. And raid it was. The number of children torn from their families and placed in state custody and moved to foster care...How disastrous is this to them? How disastrous will it be to them in future? To make no attempt to keep these children with their mothers is startling to me. They could demand that the men move off the compound, leaving the children with at least one parent in the meantime. I don't know what "proof" they've found during/after the raid. The articles I've been reading say they have 20 women they think were/are underage. Think being the operative word. How easy is it to tell someones age? Did the FL.DS even keep records? Do they celebrate birthdays? And how old were they when they "married". Sixteen? Seventeen? Younger? It's all so murky. How does that compare with other state laws that allow parental consent to marriage at 16? I don't know TX law.

And the whole DNA thing is scary to me. Now the state has the DNA of all the members of a different religious group, whom many are calling a "cult". I might not agree with their way of life, but really. A "cult"? Go to http://www.dictionary.com/ and type in "cult". If you read those definitions, everything, every religion, can be considered a cult.

Would the authorities have moved this fast if this wasn't a group that kept itself outside the mainstream? What about the Amish? How young do they marry? Don't you think they have pressure in their society to conform, to marry as/when told? Many groups do. Now, I'm not even remotely trying to say the Amish practice child abuse. I don't know if the FL.DS does either. That's what concerns me. The heavy-handed state intervention.

I think the state may have overplayed their hand. Why not investigate? Get some facts, proof before hand. Instead of taking all these children in this dramatic fashion. Maybe my thinking is all muddled, maybe my writing it out is all muddled. I just have this sense of unease when I listen to or read stories on this case. I have from the first. To just go in there and take all these children away, to do the DNA testing on such a large number of citizens (and yes, they are citizens), to require it for them to get their kids back and then to not give the kids back...It frightens me. Our government can and has been zealous when it comes to groups it considers "bad". Ruby Ridge, anyone? But I don't mean to get into that.

How many cases are there of the state wrongly taking children from their parents on inaccurate information and outright lies? And it takes years and money and lawyers to get them back. In the meantime, the children are the ones that suffer. Then there's the plain and simple fact that the majority of states have horrible child welfare systems. Overworked, overburdened, understaffed and underpaid. How is adding this number of children into that system helpful to anyone? Least of all the children? And if it's the girls that are being subjected to child abuse, why take the boys? Are they being abused? They took boys, too, didn't they? Or did they leave them. See, I'm so confused this morning.

Where is the line between freedom of religion and secular law? It really is confusing, and not sharply drawn at all. Nor is it possible to do so, I guess. I don't agree with children being forced to marry. If they are sixteen and want to marry, and have parental consent...Well, I'm not super thrilled with that, but it's been found to be legal in our secular society. Why not in a religious society? I don't have a problem with polygamy, any more than I do with monogamy. It's personal choice, with choice being the operative word I suppose. I think wanting to be married to more than one person at the same time is as crazy as being involved (but not married) with multiple people at the same time. But I'm a loner. And possessive. I do not share well. And that's just my stuff. Forget about someone I'm in an emotional & physical relationship with. Hah. Anyway. I just wonder how young these children really are when marrying, & is that when they start having sex and children? And is there any harm to them if it is how they are raised, and how the society they are raised in functions? In their world it is normal. If it's normal, does it harm? I don't know.

I mean, look at many mainstream religions. Why isn't some of the stuff taught there considered mental abuse? I mean, it's as much indoctrination as anything else when children are raised from birth to believe one way and this is the only way and if you stray from this particular path you will burn in hell for all enternity and all sorts of bad stuff will happen to you, and everyone else is wrong and going to burn in hell, etc, and so on ad infinitum. How many people actually leave what they've been brought up with? Hmm. Looks like another research topic for me. (Why do I do this to myself?) I wonder what the numbers are on that. We can talk about freedom and choice all we want, but how much do we really have when you factor in peer, societal and familial pressure to toe the line and fit in? And when government interferes and makes actual laws or behaves in ways to reinforce a view over another? I understand there have to be laws or total chaos will reign. It's all well and good in theory, but what about the practice?

I know I've already said it, but it really is muddled water. I suppose morals and ethics usually are.

I did some messing around on the Internet (big surprise) and found a blog where posters are much more eloquent than I am. [g] http://daviddfriedman.blogspot.com/ I haven't read too much on this blog, just a couple of the posts on this issue, and the comments. It's interesting, at any rate.

Powerful Books

Sitrep: 1x 15 minute walk

A topic I've been thinking on for awhile is what gets people started reading, and what keeps them reading? Why do we keep coming back for more? For me, I seem to get some kind of emotional connection or satisfaction when I read. Maybe it has to do with my earliest memories of books, all of them wrapped up in family, if you think about it:

- Dad holding and reading to me
- My 6th or 7th birthday where Mom & Dad got me the first 5 books in the Bobbsey Twin series
- Dad coming home from work with another book for me
- Mom reading to us kids
- Mom getting us our bilingual (English/Spanish) Fairy Tale books (the Ugly Duckling was my favorite!)
- Family trips to the library
- Endless summer days bicycling to the library with a sibling or friend or by myself when I was older
- My sister and I reading late into the night, with our secret code of knocking on the walls to indicate “meet in the hallway” (to share a good/funny part) or “going to bed” or “finished book”
- Sneaking books into church to tuck into the Missalette so I could read during Mass (until my brother tried this and got caught…that was the end of sitting in the balcony on our own!)

We joke, my sister and I, that the best presents for us growing up were books. Mom despaired, I think, of her two daughters that wanted books over clothes or makeup. When we unwrapped the book, we’d squeal, caress the cover, open it to the inside flap and read the blurb, no matter how many times we’d already read it before, finish the back inside flap, then gently close the book, caress the back, and regretfully, softly, place it on the floor next to us to continue with the Christmas festivities. [g]

But as much as these memories make me smile, I got a reminder yesterday of other ways that books have affected my life. Stronger, and not as “nice” ways depending on your point of view. Ways that have made me uncomfortable about who I am, what I believe, my perceptions of the world around me.

A friend asked me to look up a Saint for her, Saint Dymphna. I thought it was made up, but was wrong. Dymphna is the patron saint for the mentally disabled. Appropriate, because that’s the field my friend works in. She wanted to know the reason/backstory for this Saint. So I got to rooting around online, and going through a list of Saints and the Beatified and those on track to become Saints in the Catholic Church, I came upon the three children of Fatima. I’ve always been fascinated by that story, from an early age. Maybe because we lived in the Terceira Islands, maybe because Mom’s from Spain, who knows. But it’s always fascinated me.

I distinctly remember reading a book about the Miracle of Fatima, a sort of biography of what happened and the three children. I was drawn to the second girl, the youngest of the three at 10, Jacinta. She died quite young, in the hospital. One of her greatest wishes was to receive the sacrament of the Holy Communion. Yet the priests denied her because she was too young. Even on her death bed, when she begged, they denied her that and the Sacrament of the Last Rites. And she died that night.

Being near /the same age as her, I was horrified, terrified. Here was this pious little girl, trying to the best of her ability (and from what I read now succeeding at) being good and following the dictates of the church, and they wouldn’t let her have First Communion. I think that was the beginning of my disillusionment with the Catholic Church, and perhaps organized religion in general. Even in my “religious” years in high school/beginning of college, there was that seed of doubt. Maybe that’s why I was (still am) curious about other faiths, religions, ways of believing. Who knows. I think it was also the beginning of my sense of injustice in the world, that things don't always have a nice tidy ending, things don't always work out. It probably didn't help that within a few years I'd read the Diary of Anne Frank.

Anyway. It just reminded me that as much as I focus on the fun of reading, I don't think too much about the ways books have helped me to grow, have challenged me, and have stretched my horizons.

Meee-owww

Sitrep: Sluggish beyond belief. Lack of motivation.

So. There's still a brouhaha going on the bulletin board, and today it really descended into cattiness. Sigh. Why do we have to do this to each other? I've noticed it really seems to happen with just a few posters, and I have done my fair share of wallowing in the mud with certain other posters.

It's just so hard to refrain, you know? As I said to one of my BB friends, when she called me and told me not to respond to one post (this was weeks ago, and has nothing to do with the current squabble), I really felt like replying with this:

Bad of me, I know. What can I say?

Good part of the day is that I got to have a nice little side conversation with Cranky Otter about the government's use of "In God We Trust" on official documentation. Okay, really, it was CO talking with someone else, I just got the benefit of "listening" in. It was great. Just the kind of stuff I love to talk about, but can seldom find anyone else who wants to.

It's interesting the views people have. I remember one discussion I had on the BB with someone who did not feel that there was any religious discrimination in the U.S., or that anyone not a Christian in this country is ever made to feel inferior or opressed. Really? I have. She came back with a "No You Haven't" post. Which really made my blood boil. [g] It might not seem like much, but when I get a work email from someone in an organization we do business with, and it is signed "God Bless You" and I get in trouble for having as part of my email signature "Blessed Be" or "May the Goddess Bless You". How is the one acceptable and the other not? That is a form of opression, a way of making someone feel inferior.

And I had another, brief, go round with someone on the BB this week who doesn't believe there is any opression in the U.S. (I'm thinking it's the same person as before, but am not totally sure.) I want to respond to her post, and ask her what her definition of opression is. From what I read, it seemed to me that as long as a person is free to leave the country, then they aren't opressed. I'm probably interpreting the posts wrong, but that's what I got from it. Which really - scares - me in some respects. Because if one person seriously believes this, then there are probably many more that do.

For one thing, I don't believe leaving the country is all that easy any more. At least, not legally...(her responding post seemed to me to suggest people leave illegally. Which is funny, if you think about it, because so many in this country are up in arms over those coming here illegally.) For another, there really is opression going on in this country. Just look at the struggle for gays/lesbians to have equal protections and rights under the law. To not be treated as second class citizens. Look at the prejudices and discriminations that African Americans still face. Yes, it's come a long way since the 60's. But it's still there. And until I moved West, I didn't realize the types of discrimination and prejudice faced by Native Americans. I could go on and on...

I guess I just have this sensation that's been building since 9/11 that we are on the precipiece of some really scary restrictions when it comes to our freedoms to live our lives like we have been.

I used to believe our government wouldn't harm us. That we needed more federal government than state government. Now it frightens me that the individual states' rights are more and more getting swallowed up or over-ridden by the feds.

I really don't like this uneasy, queasy feeling. I don't know. Maybe I'm just paranoid...like my friend who's stockpiling supplies for when the government collapses...

Mental Tornado

Sitrep: 1x Boot Camp (~45 min), 1x Boot Camp (30 min)

Goals for January 7-13:

1. Monday - Boot Camp (at least 30 min)
2. Tuesday - Abs
3. Wednesday - Boot Camp
4. Thursday - Abs
5. Friday - Boot Camp
6. Saturday - at least 30 minutes of any activity that gets me moving, with my little sister
7. Sunday - at least 30 minutes of any activity that gets me moving

I can't believe I'm scheduling myself to do Boot Camp three times this week. Insane. But I'm enjoying it, so, why stop a good thing? It's making me work harder than I have been.

So I feel like I'm in a mental tornado this morning. A gazillion thoughts zooming around in my head. I had an idea at some point on what I wanted to blog about, but, alas, it is gone. I had a good title and everything. Ya know, sometimes I think I'm getting early alzheimers. [sigh]

Maybe it's just the fumes from cleaning house yesterday. Did one of those semi-annual bathroom cleanings. The kind where you bleach the tub, etc. Got a new shower curtain liner, because, really, the one I had was no longer cleanable. I think if I'd dipped it in bleach one more time it would have disintegrated. Sorry if this is TMI, but it was getting to the point even I didn't want to step into the shower. [Mom, if you're reading this, it's just a nightmare, go back to sleep.]

Getting irritated by my bathroom sink. Used almost a whole 80oz Liquid Drain Gel bottle on it, various times throughout the day, and the darn thing won't stay unclogged. I'm gonna have to take the sink apart, damnit, because the drain plug is "attached" and can't be pulled out. Sometimes I hate my hair. [Sigh]

And then my brain is off on politics, what with the primaries being so prevalent in the news. Am I the only one that thinks we should have a national primary? Everyone votes on the same day, only one vote per person. The candidate for each party (including independents) with the most votes gets to run for president. That way the media can't do what they've done in this election cycle: decide who are the top candidates and focus all media attention on them. Drives me nuts. Because they limit the free coverage to just those people, which in my mind is an unfair advantage! I also don't like the fact that the current primary system lets a handful of states determine who actually runs for president, and the electoral system then lets a handful of states determine who becomes president. And yes, I even felt this way when I lived in FL, a state that plays a big role.

Off on another tangent (life is so much better when I don't watch the news in the morning): What the heck is up with this new book by Morton on Tom Cruise? I have to ask myself - If we were to substitute Christianity for Scientology, would it be such a big deal? Seems to me that heavy involvement in your church is a good thing. So what if it's Scientology? I don't remember Cruise being on the news lately for drunk driving or drugs or spousal abuse or incest or...Being very involved in your church is always praised as such a good thing for Christians. Drives me nuts.

Get a grip, get a life, move on Nat!!!!

At work this morning they announced who is taking over when the boss retires. Looks like the new CEO will start on Feb 1, with the current CEO staying through the end of February. I'm so bummed. I know the new CEO, we all do, he's a previous president of our board, we've worked with him a lot in the past on various issues/projects. He's very qualified for the position, he's a very nice guy. I'm just not sure what kind of boss he'll be. It's also gonna be sad to see RM go, and then there's that whole "change" thing. I hate that. I deal okay, am pretty flexible, just makes me uneasy.

So I'm gonna focus on the good things. :) Got some good cleaning/organizing done this weekend. Talked quite awhile with my SIL Friday after work. Still miss them a lot. Especially how much we laughed together. It snowed Saturday while I was at Costco with Shanni. 20 minutes in the store and we exit to a whiteout. Sweet. It blew over within 10 minutes leaving little on the ground. But it was snow! :) Did Boot Camp several times last week although last night it was only 30 mins. Got too overheated I think. Because I really pushed myself on those cover drills. Did I ever mention that I hate cover drills?

Oh, which reminds me, is anyone out there the least little bit worried that Alden's teaching me how to kick a door in?

Would I ever?

I've been watching the CNN documentary "God's Warriors" the last two nights (tonight is part 3 of 3), and then the episode of Larry King Live last night. It has definitely got me thinking on this topic. Which is definitely a thought I've 'met before':

Would I ever be a warrior for a cause? Would I ever be willing to sacrifice so deeply, or so horribly?

Mostly the answer I come up with is no. I can't think of anything I believe in that moves me so much, so emotionally...

Oh, there are many things I'm passionate about. Animal abuse, child abuse, tolerance, politics, freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of choice, and definitely, REDUCE THE POWER OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. (That last is a new one for me. It quite scares me sometimes how we are limiting the power of the individual states and giving it to a one-size-fits-all federal government. Not how I used to feel. Aren't I supposed to be getting more conservative as I age, not more liberal?)

Some of these issues "rile me up" (as a former co-worker called it) more than others. Yet I can't imagine getting to the point I'd want the laws to be "my way or I'll blow you up"...But then again, I've never been backed into a corner to such an extent. And those times I have had the 'fight or flight' button triggered, well, I tend to flee quite well. ;)

I wonder; is this just me? Is it a positive trait or a flaw in my makeup? Is it because I've always been more likely to see the middle road than one side or the other? Somehow my parents raised me to the point it's usually very easy for me to "put myself in someone else's shoes". Most of the time. ;) Although that doesn't always come across real well when I get worked up. It makes it very - hard, sometimes. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to be able to pick a spot and just stand there. No more thinking and evolving.

If you get a chance to see the documentary, I think you should. The first part is God's Warriors: Judaism; part 2 is God's Warriors: Islam and tonight's episode is God's Warriors: Christianity.

So far it seems to have done a decent/fair job at what its intent is (stated by Christiane Amanpour in an online Q&A) "We're not comparing. We're showing that each faith has their committed and fervent believers, and we're showing how each of those are active in the political sphere in today's world."

It's not an extremely thorough report. I mean, you can only cover so much in a 2 hour segment. But for what it is, I thought it was very good. More info to add to the mix.