D'you ever look at the people around you and just wonder what on earth were they thinking?
I read this article online this morning about 2 guys that robbed a Uhaul store. One of them fled, while the other stuck around a few minutes trying to pick up the woman he'd just robbed. I mean, really. Like she's gonna say yes. LOL. She should have asked for his number, and then given it to the cops. What an idiot. But then again, he was robbing the place. Not too smart to start with.
And then I look at people who do all sorts of crazy things just to get something that's free. (Hey, I'm not excluding myself from this category. I've been known to do this myself.)
I have this friend that really, really goes nuts when it's free. She got some free labor from friends/acquaintances to completely gut and redo her bathroom, as well as get a new roof on. Yet she couldn't understand why it literally took months to get the smallest thing accomplished. Ummm, maybe because it was "free"? In the meantime, she had to pay the entire summer for a port-a-john because her bathroom was gutted. At the end of it all she kept muttering "Should have just paid to have someone do the bathroom."
The latest one is the free mobile home. Yep. You heard me. Free mobile home, you just have to move it. Okay. I'm saying to myself, heck, if it's free, it's gotta be a dump. Probably pre-1970's and uninsurable. But my friend jumps right on this. Her plan is to move it next to the cabin and hook the two up together so she can have more space and bring her cabin up to code so insurance will be cheaper. (Ummm. We both work in the insurance industry, and know better. Well, we should, anyway.) Several weeks later, she's got $200 into it (title and taxes, permit to move it), one day of vacation used up to make all these arrangments, and it turns out it's got a bent axle and she can't find anyone to move it. Now she's trying to get rid of it, but wants $200 to recoup her money.
I look at this and just shake my head. Why do we fall for this free=must have? Is it cultural? Is it genetic? Nature vs nurture and all that? It kinda drives me crazy sometimes.
Like people that line hop at the store. I want to scream "Just pick a line already!!!!!" (Sorry Mom, you know that drives me bananas.) Or people who drive around the parking lot umpteen times trying to find a spot really close to the front door. I could've gone inside, gotten my items purchased, and been back out by the time they've parked. Even at Walmart!
Ahhh, and then there are the people who own the rental two doors down from me...In the past year they've had several tenants from what I can tell. The first really destroyed the place, neglected their dog, drank and fought (one night I was woken up by the kids begging the mom not to drive drunk; one kid actually sat on the hood of the car so she wouldn't leave.) They eventually just disappeared. Evicted or skipped out on the rent; I'm not sure which.
Their latest tenant isn't much better. (I should say tenants, because it's really a group of young kids in their early 20's if that). No fighting, not yet, but the house isn't in much better shape. Lots of boards up over broken windows. Scraggly grass. Loud music. Even louder cars. And a huge spray-painted sign on the upper story that you can see from the road into town that reads: PUNKS NOT DEAD
Their grammar, not mine. LOL. And I just can't help but think about the home's owner and and say to myself "What were they thinking!"
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
I need a vacation to recover
From this past weekend. Wow. I feel like I spent most of it on the move! And I have the sunburn and sore muscles to prove it. :) But I had so much fun.
Saturday morning I headed out with my little sister ST and her family (Mom=MB, Step dad=SB, Sister=KT). We went to Lewis and Clark Caverns state park, and took the tour of the caverns. It's a lovely 1.5 hour drive; we went one way (through Townsend on 287) and then came back the opposite direction (on 69 through Montana City.) It was a very pretty scenic drive in and of itself, with the added bonus of the cavern tour.
We got there just around 1pm, in time for the tour at 1:25 pm. It was an absolutely beautiful day; the skies had finally cleared after the past week of constant - and much needed - rain. We were all geared up in jeans and t-shirts. The temps were only supposed to hit the low 70's and the caverns themselves are 50F year round. Well, it was 80F or above, I'd swear. And the caverns were blessedly cool, but I did not need the jacket I carried inside. Wore it anyway, because it was tight going in some spots.
Anyway. You have to hike up a trail about 1/4 mile to the actual entrance. Doesn't sound too bad at first, until you realize that that 1/4 mile rises 300 feet. Yep. It was brutal. MB and I had to stop quite a bit along the way (every place they had a bench, lol) to catch our breath. I used my "camera" as my excuse. Had to take pictures, don't you know. And I got some lovely ones.
Once inside, it was pretty impressive. The caverns are huge. We walked a total of 2 miles over the 2 hour tour, and that was only in caverns that are accessible to the tours. There are plenty more they don't let people in. Back when it was first discovered and opened for tours, you actually had to climb up the mountain (we drove) then climb down a rope 200 feet (I think that's what it said) into the bottom of the first cavern. Then you would go through the rest of the caverns, etc. Without the benefit of the stairs and tunnels we had. Those were created in the 1930's and 40's by the Citizen Conservation Corps. Anyway. Once they were done, they had to go back up the rope to get out. Yikes. The trip back then was a total of 14 days or so. [Interesting side note: They have a b/w picture of a group of nuns that made the trip down into the caverns. Those must have been some tough nuns!]
Anyway. There is a huge sign at the entrance to the trail, warning anyone with heart, breathing or back problems that there is a lot of climbing, bending, stooping and so on in the caverns. And how! There were some spots I wasn't sure I'd make it through. And I'm only 5'2"!!! Poor SB, he's much much taller. One spot, called the beaver slide, you actually have to sit down and slide through, while ducking. The kids breezed through that one. MB, SB and I had a little more trouble. Me especially as I was carrying my beloved camera and taking great pains to protect it. (Mom & Dad might remember when I fell once while visiting them in Japan, and I made sure I landed with the camera on top of me. Gotta protect that camera! As I always say, I have insurance. It doesn't.)
At one point in the caverns, toward the end, we are going up these steep steps, our group of about 20 strung along like so many Christmas lights on a wire, when the guide calls down "headache rock up here" and the word gets passed down the line as we start going up and approaching it. Just then the lights went out at the upper end, where headache rock is. And then one by one down the line off they go. So now we're totally in the dark, with only the flashlight held by the guide. And of course, I am at the back of the line. (It's easier to take pictures that way. Nobody in the way.) It was actually rather funny, because everyone kept moving. I guess we had too much momentum going or something! Or were just too stupid. And the guide starts yelling "Don't move! Stop! Stop!" LOL. Poor kid (she had to be all of 20). Must have freaked her out. So now what? Smart thinking on some one's part, everyone pulled out their cell phones and turned them on, using the cell phones to light our way. Of course, we had to give MB heck about this because when we got to the park, she made us all leave our cell phones in the car. LOL. So we had no lights. But the person in front of us lit our way.
The rest of the tour was uneventful. Beautiful, even if we didn't see any of the bats. But I love seeing caves and caverns. Although at several points I started to feel a little claustrophobic.
We went a total of 350 feet under ground, but were still a mile high at the lowest point of the caverns.
After the tour we started home, stopping at one of the picnic spot along the way for an early dinner. Then the scenic route home, stopping at an old country church built in the 1800's that's supposedly haunted, and was abandoned for some time. Well, it's no longer spooky as it's being refurbished, and the building and lands are all fixed up. Oh well.
Then Sunday I went to my little sister's house early in the morning, my legs already feeling cranky from the walking Saturday. Shortly after 9am we were out in the yard, working on the garden. We didn't get as much in as we'd planned, but didn't do too badly. Friends had tilled the garden a week or so earlier, but we got the roto-tiller once more to break it up again. Only it broke halfway through. Oh well. But we did get in the corn (red and yellow) as well as the peas, spaghetti squash, and Kentucky wonder beans. We still have a ton more to do though. MB had big eyes when she planned this garden. LOL. Scully had a blast out there; she is now well-behaved enough that she can be let loose outside with no fenced yard in sight! They live out in the valley on some 20+ acres. There have to be a million rabbits out there (only a slight exaggeration) and Scully behaved beautifully.
I got a nice sunburn, and worked out some new muscles in my arms. Especially my right arm. Woke up part way through the night from a nightmare I was having a heart attack to find my right arm in lots of pain. Sunburn + muscle cramps don't make for a good night's sleep. Slept most of Monday morning between loads of laundry (it was raining, anyway, started again midday Sunday), and then headed to my little sister's house for the first BBQ of the season. Which got rained out. And where we entertained ourselves by clipping the Westie's hair. With scissors. (Hey, the electric trimmer wouldn't work, and she needed it.) Not bad for a weekend's worth of work.
Of course, I'm now back at the office and exhausted. ;)
Saturday morning I headed out with my little sister ST and her family (Mom=MB, Step dad=SB, Sister=KT). We went to Lewis and Clark Caverns state park, and took the tour of the caverns. It's a lovely 1.5 hour drive; we went one way (through Townsend on 287) and then came back the opposite direction (on 69 through Montana City.) It was a very pretty scenic drive in and of itself, with the added bonus of the cavern tour.
We got there just around 1pm, in time for the tour at 1:25 pm. It was an absolutely beautiful day; the skies had finally cleared after the past week of constant - and much needed - rain. We were all geared up in jeans and t-shirts. The temps were only supposed to hit the low 70's and the caverns themselves are 50F year round. Well, it was 80F or above, I'd swear. And the caverns were blessedly cool, but I did not need the jacket I carried inside. Wore it anyway, because it was tight going in some spots.
Anyway. You have to hike up a trail about 1/4 mile to the actual entrance. Doesn't sound too bad at first, until you realize that that 1/4 mile rises 300 feet. Yep. It was brutal. MB and I had to stop quite a bit along the way (every place they had a bench, lol) to catch our breath. I used my "camera" as my excuse. Had to take pictures, don't you know. And I got some lovely ones.
Once inside, it was pretty impressive. The caverns are huge. We walked a total of 2 miles over the 2 hour tour, and that was only in caverns that are accessible to the tours. There are plenty more they don't let people in. Back when it was first discovered and opened for tours, you actually had to climb up the mountain (we drove) then climb down a rope 200 feet (I think that's what it said) into the bottom of the first cavern. Then you would go through the rest of the caverns, etc. Without the benefit of the stairs and tunnels we had. Those were created in the 1930's and 40's by the Citizen Conservation Corps. Anyway. Once they were done, they had to go back up the rope to get out. Yikes. The trip back then was a total of 14 days or so. [Interesting side note: They have a b/w picture of a group of nuns that made the trip down into the caverns. Those must have been some tough nuns!]
Anyway. There is a huge sign at the entrance to the trail, warning anyone with heart, breathing or back problems that there is a lot of climbing, bending, stooping and so on in the caverns. And how! There were some spots I wasn't sure I'd make it through. And I'm only 5'2"!!! Poor SB, he's much much taller. One spot, called the beaver slide, you actually have to sit down and slide through, while ducking. The kids breezed through that one. MB, SB and I had a little more trouble. Me especially as I was carrying my beloved camera and taking great pains to protect it. (Mom & Dad might remember when I fell once while visiting them in Japan, and I made sure I landed with the camera on top of me. Gotta protect that camera! As I always say, I have insurance. It doesn't.)
At one point in the caverns, toward the end, we are going up these steep steps, our group of about 20 strung along like so many Christmas lights on a wire, when the guide calls down "headache rock up here" and the word gets passed down the line as we start going up and approaching it. Just then the lights went out at the upper end, where headache rock is. And then one by one down the line off they go. So now we're totally in the dark, with only the flashlight held by the guide. And of course, I am at the back of the line. (It's easier to take pictures that way. Nobody in the way.) It was actually rather funny, because everyone kept moving. I guess we had too much momentum going or something! Or were just too stupid. And the guide starts yelling "Don't move! Stop! Stop!" LOL. Poor kid (she had to be all of 20). Must have freaked her out. So now what? Smart thinking on some one's part, everyone pulled out their cell phones and turned them on, using the cell phones to light our way. Of course, we had to give MB heck about this because when we got to the park, she made us all leave our cell phones in the car. LOL. So we had no lights. But the person in front of us lit our way.
The rest of the tour was uneventful. Beautiful, even if we didn't see any of the bats. But I love seeing caves and caverns. Although at several points I started to feel a little claustrophobic.
We went a total of 350 feet under ground, but were still a mile high at the lowest point of the caverns.
After the tour we started home, stopping at one of the picnic spot along the way for an early dinner. Then the scenic route home, stopping at an old country church built in the 1800's that's supposedly haunted, and was abandoned for some time. Well, it's no longer spooky as it's being refurbished, and the building and lands are all fixed up. Oh well.
Then Sunday I went to my little sister's house early in the morning, my legs already feeling cranky from the walking Saturday. Shortly after 9am we were out in the yard, working on the garden. We didn't get as much in as we'd planned, but didn't do too badly. Friends had tilled the garden a week or so earlier, but we got the roto-tiller once more to break it up again. Only it broke halfway through. Oh well. But we did get in the corn (red and yellow) as well as the peas, spaghetti squash, and Kentucky wonder beans. We still have a ton more to do though. MB had big eyes when she planned this garden. LOL. Scully had a blast out there; she is now well-behaved enough that she can be let loose outside with no fenced yard in sight! They live out in the valley on some 20+ acres. There have to be a million rabbits out there (only a slight exaggeration) and Scully behaved beautifully.
I got a nice sunburn, and worked out some new muscles in my arms. Especially my right arm. Woke up part way through the night from a nightmare I was having a heart attack to find my right arm in lots of pain. Sunburn + muscle cramps don't make for a good night's sleep. Slept most of Monday morning between loads of laundry (it was raining, anyway, started again midday Sunday), and then headed to my little sister's house for the first BBQ of the season. Which got rained out. And where we entertained ourselves by clipping the Westie's hair. With scissors. (Hey, the electric trimmer wouldn't work, and she needed it.) Not bad for a weekend's worth of work.
Of course, I'm now back at the office and exhausted. ;)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
I gotta stop drinking Hot Chocolate
Really. I think all this caffeine is making me think too much. LOL. It's probably not good for my diet, either. I think I downed 4 cups of the stuff yesterday. Eeek. And here I've been off of coffee for almost a year.
I've had an interesting horoscope the past 2 days. I get it on my Earthlink start page, and usually don't read it until the end of the day. Just so I can "verify" it hasn't influenced my choices, doncha know. (It's actually fairly accurate. Some days eerily so.)
I should have saved yesterday's. It basically told me my happy, lighthearted mood of the day wouldn't be appreciated in my social circles, and I should just go someplace quiet and read a good book. Gee, that's such a hard one for me to do. LOL.
Too bad I didn't read it until the end of the day. Because I did irritate a few "the-world-is-coming-to-an-end" moments yesterday for some coworkers. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. It's that darn imp that lives in my mouth and stomps on my tongue and kicks at my teeth until I have no choice but to open my mouth and let it speak....Apparently, I was too lighthearted for them. [It's just as apparent they don't read this blog. {g} 'Cause I was hardly lighthearted in yesterday's post! But it felt good to get it out of my mind.]
But I hardly think our HR director would accept calling in sick "because my horoscope told me to" as a valid excuse. Bummer. Anyway. Today's is auspicious. This is what it starts out with:
I've had an interesting horoscope the past 2 days. I get it on my Earthlink start page, and usually don't read it until the end of the day. Just so I can "verify" it hasn't influenced my choices, doncha know. (It's actually fairly accurate. Some days eerily so.)
I should have saved yesterday's. It basically told me my happy, lighthearted mood of the day wouldn't be appreciated in my social circles, and I should just go someplace quiet and read a good book. Gee, that's such a hard one for me to do. LOL.
Too bad I didn't read it until the end of the day. Because I did irritate a few "the-world-is-coming-to-an-end" moments yesterday for some coworkers. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. It's that darn imp that lives in my mouth and stomps on my tongue and kicks at my teeth until I have no choice but to open my mouth and let it speak....Apparently, I was too lighthearted for them. [It's just as apparent they don't read this blog. {g} 'Cause I was hardly lighthearted in yesterday's post! But it felt good to get it out of my mind.]
But I hardly think our HR director would accept calling in sick "because my horoscope told me to" as a valid excuse. Bummer. Anyway. Today's is auspicious. This is what it starts out with:
The current configuration of the planets will make you the bearer of a new philosophy, dear Aries.Oh, I can have so much fun with this one! I've always wanted to be a goddess.
This doesn't mean that you will be "New Age," but more precisely that you will have ideas that have evolved from it.Okay, I can see that. I do have a tendency to do this. ;)
It is rather easy to imagine you attending conferences given by the leading minds of the day.
Oh, I wish. But probably not gonna happen. I am in Montana. Guess we'll just have to stick with imagining this one. ;)
Most assuredly, you are searching for answers. But be careful about being too easily convinced by any "truth" that comes your way...
Okay, going to ignore any truths that come to me today. I can handle that, too. I'll just be an ostrich as well as a goddess. ;) Well, I'm off to spread my new philosophy (MOOG, people, MOOG) through the office... :)
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Great Expectations
That book was such a disappointment to me when we finally got to it in Mr. Arnold's 9th Grade English class. I'd heard soooo much hype about it, and frankly, thought the characters were all a bunch of idiots. Especially Mrs. Haversham. Get over it already, I used to want to yell at her. Well, guess I still do. LOL. But I'm starting to recognize that expectations fill our lives, whether we acknowledge them or not, and drive our reactions and emotions.
I mean, they are everywhere. I had such great expectations when I bought that t-bone steak at the grocery store. I really did. And I cooked it last night. It wasn't that bad, once I trimmed the burned sections off of it. Although I really should have modified the amount of seasonings I marinated it in. I really should have. (Note to self: instructions on side of seasoning packet are for larger amounts of meat...adjust accordingly!) But my expectations weren't really disappointed. I enjoyed my first self-cooked piece of steak. Not bad, really. And my dog was thrilled last night. I think she almost peed herself when I dropped that bone in her bowl, she was so excited. LOL. Although I wasn't too popular when I refused to let her chew on it on my bed. A girl has got to draw a line somewhere!
And then there are the expectations that we have for ourselves, the people in our lives. Things we expect people to say and do, how to react. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I've been disappointed in what used to be a very good friendship. Perhaps one of the best friendships of my adult life. Or that's simply what I've thought...I've been told before that my loyalty, once earned, is hard for someone to lose. But slowly over the past year or so, it's as if my eyes are opening. My friend hasn't been as supportive as I expected she'd be, especially when it came to the house I bought. I thought she'd be as thrilled as I was when she finally found her place. But she wasn't. I literally packed her up when she moved because she had the flu so bad that week. I cleaned her rental because she couldn't and she needed to be out of the place before another month's rent was due. I even helped move stuff in and unpack and organize several times at her new place.
Yet when I asked for some help moving to my new house, I got very little in return. She swore up and down and promised to help me rip all the carpets out (they were in nasty shape) before I moved in. She didn't. Oh, she came over a few hours that first evening, and the second evening only because I guilted her into. And boy, was she pissy about that. And stayed maybe an hour. At her first party in her new place, she got mad because I didn't help her clean and get ready as much as she wanted me to. She went to take a nap before the party started, and expected me to clean the floors while she was sleeping. When she woke up and I hadn't swept the floors, had instead chatted with other friends that were early arrivals, she was pissed. Yet when I had my housewarming, she didn't help clean or prep or anything. Didn't help run errands or go to the store to get stuff I'd forgotten, like she'd asked me to do. And which I'd done, because the store literally lies halfway between both of our houses, on the fastest most direct route between us.
And then there was this past week since my Grandmother's death. I called her that evening right after I found out, very close to falling apart on the phone, and left a message asking her to call me back. She didn't. My little sister's mom called that night (for some other reason), and could tell by my voice that something was wrong. She has since called & emailed me multiple times to make sure I'm okay, and that's on top of my little sister, who has called me as well.
Yet my friend, who I told the news to on Wednesday at work, and also told that I am having a very hard time dealing with this, has not called me once in the last week. Not. One. Single. Time. Not even to call me back after I called her Wednesday after work. This, the friend that over the past five years has called me practically every night. And heaven forbid there be a TV program on that I want to watch, because it's the ultimate affront to her, that I'd watch a show rather than talk to her. We literally spend hours on the phone talking to each other every week. But we haven't talked once since my Grandma died. Not even on Monday, when I mentioned that it had been a very rough weekend, with the funeral being Saturday, and my not going, etc. I really expected her to call me that night. But she didn't.
I am starting to think it's because I am a lot more sure of myself now than when we first met. I've taken control of my life. Bought a house, eating better, in control of my tomato addiction, worked off 25 lbs, exercising...I still want the friendship, but I'm starting to feel that unless I'm dependent on her friendship and her friendship alone for my happiness, she doesn't want to be friends with me. Maybe she needs to be able to feel superior to me? Above me in some way? I don't know. But she's made comments before about losing friends once they become spiritual equals with her. I've been thinking for awhile it's because she pushes them away.
She is a very demanding friend. I've known that. But at first, it seemed that I've gotten a good measure back from her in this friendship. Now I'm starting to wonder if I've been blind to it from the start. That this has always been such a one-sided friendship. Or maybe I expect too much. But is it too much to expect a friend to be there to give you a hug when you're crying over your dead grandparent? Even if the death was expected and is a relief in some ways? Inside there is still a five year old girl who loves her Grandma and knows she'll always be there.
I'm sorry. I didn't expect all this to come out. :) It started out in my mind as a light-hearted look at our daily expectations. I meant to end funnily, with stating that I'm going to start copying my dog's attitude. She has high expectations every day that some truly delicious bit of people food will drop into her bowl. And most days it doesn't. Yet she's always hopeful, always happy, always looking up at me thinking, "oh yeah, today I get that t-bone..." And whaddaya know. Last night she did. :)
I mean, they are everywhere. I had such great expectations when I bought that t-bone steak at the grocery store. I really did. And I cooked it last night. It wasn't that bad, once I trimmed the burned sections off of it. Although I really should have modified the amount of seasonings I marinated it in. I really should have. (Note to self: instructions on side of seasoning packet are for larger amounts of meat...adjust accordingly!) But my expectations weren't really disappointed. I enjoyed my first self-cooked piece of steak. Not bad, really. And my dog was thrilled last night. I think she almost peed herself when I dropped that bone in her bowl, she was so excited. LOL. Although I wasn't too popular when I refused to let her chew on it on my bed. A girl has got to draw a line somewhere!
And then there are the expectations that we have for ourselves, the people in our lives. Things we expect people to say and do, how to react. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I've been disappointed in what used to be a very good friendship. Perhaps one of the best friendships of my adult life. Or that's simply what I've thought...I've been told before that my loyalty, once earned, is hard for someone to lose. But slowly over the past year or so, it's as if my eyes are opening. My friend hasn't been as supportive as I expected she'd be, especially when it came to the house I bought. I thought she'd be as thrilled as I was when she finally found her place. But she wasn't. I literally packed her up when she moved because she had the flu so bad that week. I cleaned her rental because she couldn't and she needed to be out of the place before another month's rent was due. I even helped move stuff in and unpack and organize several times at her new place.
Yet when I asked for some help moving to my new house, I got very little in return. She swore up and down and promised to help me rip all the carpets out (they were in nasty shape) before I moved in. She didn't. Oh, she came over a few hours that first evening, and the second evening only because I guilted her into. And boy, was she pissy about that. And stayed maybe an hour. At her first party in her new place, she got mad because I didn't help her clean and get ready as much as she wanted me to. She went to take a nap before the party started, and expected me to clean the floors while she was sleeping. When she woke up and I hadn't swept the floors, had instead chatted with other friends that were early arrivals, she was pissed. Yet when I had my housewarming, she didn't help clean or prep or anything. Didn't help run errands or go to the store to get stuff I'd forgotten, like she'd asked me to do. And which I'd done, because the store literally lies halfway between both of our houses, on the fastest most direct route between us.
And then there was this past week since my Grandmother's death. I called her that evening right after I found out, very close to falling apart on the phone, and left a message asking her to call me back. She didn't. My little sister's mom called that night (for some other reason), and could tell by my voice that something was wrong. She has since called & emailed me multiple times to make sure I'm okay, and that's on top of my little sister, who has called me as well.
Yet my friend, who I told the news to on Wednesday at work, and also told that I am having a very hard time dealing with this, has not called me once in the last week. Not. One. Single. Time. Not even to call me back after I called her Wednesday after work. This, the friend that over the past five years has called me practically every night. And heaven forbid there be a TV program on that I want to watch, because it's the ultimate affront to her, that I'd watch a show rather than talk to her. We literally spend hours on the phone talking to each other every week. But we haven't talked once since my Grandma died. Not even on Monday, when I mentioned that it had been a very rough weekend, with the funeral being Saturday, and my not going, etc. I really expected her to call me that night. But she didn't.
I am starting to think it's because I am a lot more sure of myself now than when we first met. I've taken control of my life. Bought a house, eating better, in control of my tomato addiction, worked off 25 lbs, exercising...I still want the friendship, but I'm starting to feel that unless I'm dependent on her friendship and her friendship alone for my happiness, she doesn't want to be friends with me. Maybe she needs to be able to feel superior to me? Above me in some way? I don't know. But she's made comments before about losing friends once they become spiritual equals with her. I've been thinking for awhile it's because she pushes them away.
She is a very demanding friend. I've known that. But at first, it seemed that I've gotten a good measure back from her in this friendship. Now I'm starting to wonder if I've been blind to it from the start. That this has always been such a one-sided friendship. Or maybe I expect too much. But is it too much to expect a friend to be there to give you a hug when you're crying over your dead grandparent? Even if the death was expected and is a relief in some ways? Inside there is still a five year old girl who loves her Grandma and knows she'll always be there.
I'm sorry. I didn't expect all this to come out. :) It started out in my mind as a light-hearted look at our daily expectations. I meant to end funnily, with stating that I'm going to start copying my dog's attitude. She has high expectations every day that some truly delicious bit of people food will drop into her bowl. And most days it doesn't. Yet she's always hopeful, always happy, always looking up at me thinking, "oh yeah, today I get that t-bone..." And whaddaya know. Last night she did. :)
Monday, May 21, 2007
Delusions of Grandeur
I've always loved that line from "Return of the Jedi" when Han is being rescued from Jabba the Hut and Chewie tells him Luke's a Jedi Knight. Han, being Han, comments:
"Luke? A Jedi Knight? I'm out of it for a little while everybody gets delusions of grandeur."
Makes me laugh every time. At least, since I was old enough to understand it. ;) I'll pull it out every now and again (okay, as often as I can,) although no one ever seems to get it. Except my friend Diane...but she's known me since kindergarten, and is as big a Star Wars fan as I am. :)
So that's how I feel tonight. Like I've been out of it for a little while, and everybody's having delusions of grandeur. Well, "everybody" meaning me.
See, I went grocery shopping the other day, right before I heard about Grandma, and succumbed to "sale" pricing in the meat case. I saw this lovely t-bone steak, and just had to have it. Even got one all nicely marbled and everything. (Thank you J.B. and W's B. I have been listening the last 5 years.) So last night I pulled it out of the freezer and stuck it in the fridge to thaw. Got home from work and went to fix dinner. And whaddaya know, I'm not sure how to cook it. (Okay, so I haven't been listening that well.)
Seriously.
I've never cooked steak before. I mean, I've done the whole cubed steak for beef stews, etc. But never a t-bone steak, cooked alone as the main part of the meal. My original thought was grilling it, using McCormick's Montreal Seasoning. I've had that, it's good, and really, how different can grilling a steak be from grilling a burger? {are you seeing the 'delusions of grandeur connection yet?}
Considering it's 45F outside and raining, I don't think I'll be grilling tonight. Dilemma time. What do I do now?
Being a Woman of the New Millennium, I turned to the internet. Found several tasty recipes. Printed them out and headed to the kitchen. Okay, we can nix those requiring marinating time. I'm not willing to wait 1+ hours to start cooking. And we can pretty much toss all the others because, surprise, I don't have any of the ingredients. You know, those things called spices. (Turns out I don't have that Montreal Seasoning I mentioned earlier, either.) Sigh. There goes me being a cook...
So, I did the next best thing. Fried me up some potatoes, tossed a hot dog (all beef) on the stove. My arteries may be hardening, the Gator Patrol (BodyRev support group) will probably be goin' gator giggin' soon, with me as the gator...but hey...I cooked dinner tonight. ;)
"Luke? A Jedi Knight? I'm out of it for a little while everybody gets delusions of grandeur."
Makes me laugh every time. At least, since I was old enough to understand it. ;) I'll pull it out every now and again (okay, as often as I can,) although no one ever seems to get it. Except my friend Diane...but she's known me since kindergarten, and is as big a Star Wars fan as I am. :)
So that's how I feel tonight. Like I've been out of it for a little while, and everybody's having delusions of grandeur. Well, "everybody" meaning me.
See, I went grocery shopping the other day, right before I heard about Grandma, and succumbed to "sale" pricing in the meat case. I saw this lovely t-bone steak, and just had to have it. Even got one all nicely marbled and everything. (Thank you J.B. and W's B. I have been listening the last 5 years.) So last night I pulled it out of the freezer and stuck it in the fridge to thaw. Got home from work and went to fix dinner. And whaddaya know, I'm not sure how to cook it. (Okay, so I haven't been listening that well.)
Seriously.
I've never cooked steak before. I mean, I've done the whole cubed steak for beef stews, etc. But never a t-bone steak, cooked alone as the main part of the meal. My original thought was grilling it, using McCormick's Montreal Seasoning. I've had that, it's good, and really, how different can grilling a steak be from grilling a burger? {are you seeing the 'delusions of grandeur connection yet?}
Considering it's 45F outside and raining, I don't think I'll be grilling tonight. Dilemma time. What do I do now?
Being a Woman of the New Millennium, I turned to the internet. Found several tasty recipes. Printed them out and headed to the kitchen. Okay, we can nix those requiring marinating time. I'm not willing to wait 1+ hours to start cooking. And we can pretty much toss all the others because, surprise, I don't have any of the ingredients. You know, those things called spices. (Turns out I don't have that Montreal Seasoning I mentioned earlier, either.) Sigh. There goes me being a cook...
So, I did the next best thing. Fried me up some potatoes, tossed a hot dog (all beef) on the stove. My arteries may be hardening, the Gator Patrol (BodyRev support group) will probably be goin' gator giggin' soon, with me as the gator...but hey...I cooked dinner tonight. ;)
Surfacing
Pretty much sums up how I feel today. Like I'm surfacing from a very, very long nap. The kind you take in the middle of the day on the weekend, when you really didn't mean to. The kind where you're all groggy and confused for what seems like forever after finally making yourself stop napping...
Between Grandma's death and this rather nasty cold, last week was miserable. I was not expecting the news about Grandma to hit me so hard. Maybe it's because I only logically prepared myself, not emotionally, if that makes any sense. Maybe it's because not only was she my Grandma, but she was my last living grandparent. It's like a connection to my childhood is gone. I don't know. It's all confused and makes no sense to me. But at least I'm coming out of it.
I didn't make it home to the funeral. I could have; the cold was bad but with plenty of Dayquil, Sudafed and a nasal spray, I could have made the flight without my ears giving me serious pain. But I could not face the prospect of flying home alone. It was misery doing that after my aunt's funeral almost 2 years ago...hadn't expected that then...So I just couldn't face it. It helped that my sister did go, so she was able to be there for our parents. And took my niece, so Mom & Dad got to be around their youngest grandbaby for a few days.
Pretty much nothing else happened in my world for the rest of the week and weekend. Went to the farmer's market. Not much in season yet. But I'm glad it's started back up. Spent a little time with my little sister yesterday. We made a container fountain for the front yard. Worked pretty well, except the seal around the hole for the cord wasn't as sealed as we thought. Water drained out. Ooops. I'll have to fix that sometime this week. Once it stops raining, that is.
I did get some good news last week. Scully's doing good on her homemade diet. We went in for her annual exam and shots, and did the blood work to check her kidney levels. They're in the normal range, and from the vet's excitement, I think the numbers were lower than when we checked a month ago, and she was on the Science Diet prescription z/d food. Her weight is back up to where it was before the kidney scare. I've noticed her energy level is higher, her coat looks better, and the coughing and wheezing improved. Not completely gone, but not a constant prescence. Now only when she really exerts herself.
I've learned that oats and chicken are allergy foods for her. After just one serving with either of those ingredients, she's back to coughing and wheezing constantly. So. Those are nixed. (Just wish I'd figured that out before I bought the bulk box of oats at Costco). Interestingly enough, in some of the research books I have on accupressure in canines, they actually listed chicken as one of the foods to avoid for chronic bronchitis. I remember thinking, how odd. Are they sure? Guess they are!
Brown rice seems to be the best so far. With some veggies, powdered bone meal (for calcium), and beef. I'm going to try turkey this week. It hasn't been as hard to cook for her as I thought it would be. I just put a second pot on the stove when I'm cooking for myself, and Voila! We both have food for several days. :)
Between Grandma's death and this rather nasty cold, last week was miserable. I was not expecting the news about Grandma to hit me so hard. Maybe it's because I only logically prepared myself, not emotionally, if that makes any sense. Maybe it's because not only was she my Grandma, but she was my last living grandparent. It's like a connection to my childhood is gone. I don't know. It's all confused and makes no sense to me. But at least I'm coming out of it.
I didn't make it home to the funeral. I could have; the cold was bad but with plenty of Dayquil, Sudafed and a nasal spray, I could have made the flight without my ears giving me serious pain. But I could not face the prospect of flying home alone. It was misery doing that after my aunt's funeral almost 2 years ago...hadn't expected that then...So I just couldn't face it. It helped that my sister did go, so she was able to be there for our parents. And took my niece, so Mom & Dad got to be around their youngest grandbaby for a few days.
Pretty much nothing else happened in my world for the rest of the week and weekend. Went to the farmer's market. Not much in season yet. But I'm glad it's started back up. Spent a little time with my little sister yesterday. We made a container fountain for the front yard. Worked pretty well, except the seal around the hole for the cord wasn't as sealed as we thought. Water drained out. Ooops. I'll have to fix that sometime this week. Once it stops raining, that is.
I did get some good news last week. Scully's doing good on her homemade diet. We went in for her annual exam and shots, and did the blood work to check her kidney levels. They're in the normal range, and from the vet's excitement, I think the numbers were lower than when we checked a month ago, and she was on the Science Diet prescription z/d food. Her weight is back up to where it was before the kidney scare. I've noticed her energy level is higher, her coat looks better, and the coughing and wheezing improved. Not completely gone, but not a constant prescence. Now only when she really exerts herself.
I've learned that oats and chicken are allergy foods for her. After just one serving with either of those ingredients, she's back to coughing and wheezing constantly. So. Those are nixed. (Just wish I'd figured that out before I bought the bulk box of oats at Costco). Interestingly enough, in some of the research books I have on accupressure in canines, they actually listed chicken as one of the foods to avoid for chronic bronchitis. I remember thinking, how odd. Are they sure? Guess they are!
Brown rice seems to be the best so far. With some veggies, powdered bone meal (for calcium), and beef. I'm going to try turkey this week. It hasn't been as hard to cook for her as I thought it would be. I just put a second pot on the stove when I'm cooking for myself, and Voila! We both have food for several days. :)
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Goodbye, Grandma.
ON this long storm the rainbow rose,
On this late morn the sun;
The clouds, like listless elephants,
Horizons straggled down.
The birds rose smiling in their nests,
The gales indeed were done;
Alas! how heedless were the eyes
On whom the summer shone!
The quiet nonchalance of death
No daybreak can bestir;
The slow archangel’s syllables
Must awaken her.
~Emily Dickinson
On this late morn the sun;
The clouds, like listless elephants,
Horizons straggled down.
The birds rose smiling in their nests,
The gales indeed were done;
Alas! how heedless were the eyes
On whom the summer shone!
The quiet nonchalance of death
No daybreak can bestir;
The slow archangel’s syllables
Must awaken her.
~Emily Dickinson
Why do I watch this?
I must admit that I have some strange TV viewing habits. As a friend of mine would say, TV viewing at all is a strange habit. It drives her crazy when sometimes I'll go "Hey, I'll call you back in an hour, I want to watch this show..." And I sheepishly admit, I've become very good at having conversations on the phone with a show on mute, closed-captioning enabled, of course. ;) It's pretty easy when it's a repeat 've already seen a dozen times.
So, my lineup of shows that I watch regularly are:
The Waltons (bit embarrassed to admit this)
Law & Order (the original & SVU)
Medium
Heroes (thanks Sis, like I needed another addiction. LOL.)
HGTV (too many to list!)
History Channel (especially religious documentaries, histories)
Forensic Files
Cold Case Files
A Haunting (when I remember it's on, and am not feeling too spooked. Usually it's on mute w/CC. Or I freak out.)
Early Saturday and Sunday mornings usually find me half-awake on the sofa watching "Curb Appeal", "Clean Sweep" and the like.
But perhaps my most interesting show fascinations (to me at least, because they're very out of character) are these:
Wife Swap
Biggest Loser
Jon & Kate plus 8
Little People, Big World
Not sure what the deal is on these. Especially Jon & Kate plus 8. I mean, I like kids, but am so not into the whole parent thing. Maybe it's because while watching it I can't help but think "OMG, if that was me it'd be a train wreck!" Maybe it's some kind of strange lifestyle validation. [g]
For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it's about a young couple that couldn't have kids, went the medical treatment route, had twin girls, decided to have another child, and ended up with SEXTUPLETS. Miraculously, all with no major health issues. But now, as they said on the show, they have "Two six year olds and six two year olds." Train wreck, right?
Not so much. I cannot believe how organized this woman is. Her house is cleaner than mine, (Mom, you did not just read that) ,and it's just me and the dog. And she and her husband are hilarious, I think.
And that's not the only show on TLC on families with multiple kids. There are actually several with a dozen or more kids...one even has sixteen! So for months I've been watching these shows...It must have been percolating in my brain, because one day last week, my determinedly-childless self was standing in the kitchen making something (can't remember what) and thought about what would happen to those kids if the parents died.
In typical geek fashion, I thought "Who'd be the backup?" I mean, being backup to one or two kids is one thing. But back-up to eight????? Thank God, the Goddess, whoever, whatever is in charge, that between them my brother and sister only have 4. And that's when my brain went "OMG Nat, YOU'RE the backup."
LOL. I'd never thought of myself that way. :) Don't get me wrong, I love all my nieces and nephew and would take any and all of them in if necessary (God forbid, knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder, add any other rite/ritual to protect, I hope it's NEVER necessary)Anyway. It was just a weird moment.
*Ok, on second thought I'm editing this post to include the following, for my own safety. ;) I fully realize that I am not the only backup, and that there are grandparents and additional siblings serving as backup. Nor does this post express the wishes of either set of parents of these children! ;) *
All from my eclectic TV viewing habits. Maybe I should turn that thing off.
So, my lineup of shows that I watch regularly are:
The Waltons (bit embarrassed to admit this)
Law & Order (the original & SVU)
Medium
Heroes (thanks Sis, like I needed another addiction. LOL.)
HGTV (too many to list!)
History Channel (especially religious documentaries, histories)
Forensic Files
Cold Case Files
A Haunting (when I remember it's on, and am not feeling too spooked. Usually it's on mute w/CC. Or I freak out.)
Early Saturday and Sunday mornings usually find me half-awake on the sofa watching "Curb Appeal", "Clean Sweep" and the like.
But perhaps my most interesting show fascinations (to me at least, because they're very out of character) are these:
Wife Swap
Biggest Loser
Jon & Kate plus 8
Little People, Big World
Not sure what the deal is on these. Especially Jon & Kate plus 8. I mean, I like kids, but am so not into the whole parent thing. Maybe it's because while watching it I can't help but think "OMG, if that was me it'd be a train wreck!" Maybe it's some kind of strange lifestyle validation. [g]
For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it's about a young couple that couldn't have kids, went the medical treatment route, had twin girls, decided to have another child, and ended up with SEXTUPLETS. Miraculously, all with no major health issues. But now, as they said on the show, they have "Two six year olds and six two year olds." Train wreck, right?
Not so much. I cannot believe how organized this woman is. Her house is cleaner than mine, (Mom, you did not just read that) ,and it's just me and the dog. And she and her husband are hilarious, I think.
And that's not the only show on TLC on families with multiple kids. There are actually several with a dozen or more kids...one even has sixteen! So for months I've been watching these shows...It must have been percolating in my brain, because one day last week, my determinedly-childless self was standing in the kitchen making something (can't remember what) and thought about what would happen to those kids if the parents died.
In typical geek fashion, I thought "Who'd be the backup?" I mean, being backup to one or two kids is one thing. But back-up to eight????? Thank God, the Goddess, whoever, whatever is in charge, that between them my brother and sister only have 4. And that's when my brain went "OMG Nat, YOU'RE the backup."
LOL. I'd never thought of myself that way. :) Don't get me wrong, I love all my nieces and nephew and would take any and all of them in if necessary (God forbid, knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder, add any other rite/ritual to protect, I hope it's NEVER necessary)Anyway. It was just a weird moment.
*Ok, on second thought I'm editing this post to include the following, for my own safety. ;) I fully realize that I am not the only backup, and that there are grandparents and additional siblings serving as backup. Nor does this post express the wishes of either set of parents of these children! ;) *
All from my eclectic TV viewing habits. Maybe I should turn that thing off.
Monday, May 14, 2007
I was going to write something but can't remember
Thank You Sudafed and Tylenol PM. LOL. That's been my weekend. All the lilacs in town and in the valley, along with the crab apple trees, decided to bloom this weekend. I've been watching them start to bud in great dismay. They are very pretty, smell wonderful, and bring me several weeks of hell every year. And the ENT says I don't have allergies. Hah.
So now I have to find someone to go to the store and buy me some Sudafed, since it's under lock and key in the pharmacy and you have to show ID to buy it. Thank You Meth Heads. :( I refuse to do this, so get someone else to buy it for me. LOL. It just irritates the hell out of me that I have to prove who I am and get tracked in a database all because I need some sudafed. And no, that "new" Sudafed PE does NOT work. There's a REASON the orignal had pseudoephedrine in it.
Okay, now that the crankiness is out of me, for awhile, I feel better. :) [I'm worse than a little kid when I'm sick. g.]
Had a nice weekend. Saturday I actually got motivated. Still haven't REVed, but I did get out in the yard for 2 hours and tackled one of the flower beds by the front door. Weeded, almost killed the iris/tulip thing spontaneously growing there, and FINALLY took out the rock wall edging. That someone used mortar or something to hold together. They must have just poured the mortar over the pretty blue-gray rocks, because it looks like someone spilled oatmeal over the border. Verrrryyyy attractive. Not. So 2 hours with a hammer knocking that stuff down and stacking the rocks to the side. I must admit, toward the end, I just piled the stupid things in the middle of the sidewalk. Too tired to carry them to the end of the house where the rest were. Anyway, it looks much, much nicer now. I'll tackle the other bed this weekend. Maybe. A friend has promised to come by and use a jack-hammer to tear out the sidewalk/concrete out the back door so I can put in a patio. (It's all crooked and broken, and some of it slants toward the house. Just lovely when it rains.)
Halfway through all this yard work, I was thirsty. So I ran inside and grabbed the glass of water I'd left on the counter and chugged it. Surprise! It wasn't water. At least, not really. Gag, ackkkk. Apparently when I threw away a bamboo stalk I was trying to save, I didn't empty the glass containing the water & Sprite it had been sitting in for several days. Gross. I feel like throwing up again just thinking about it. Sigh. And that stupidity I can't even blame on the sudafed.
So after finishing up that flower bed, I slept for two or three hours, until my little sister arrived and woke me up. LOL. We hung out for a little while. She went to her first dance on Friday night, and got an eye-opening lesson on group dynamics. The boy she likes, who is usually nice, caved in to pressure from his friends and joined in with teasing/being mean to a girl she has known all her life. So know she doesn't know if she likes him any more. Sigh. Growing up sucks sometimes, you know?
Yesterday was drizzly and gray, so I used that as an excuse to do nothing but laundry and vacuum. Well, that and the fact that I woke up in the middle of the night with a sinus headache and pressure. Been taking Sudafed ever since. Which has a tendency to knock me out for a few hours and then keep me awake. Usually won't take it after about 3pm so I can get a good night's sleep. But I was in too much pain yesterday, so last night I had the brilliant idea to take a sleeping pill before bed. FYI, it doesn't cancel out the Sudafed. At least, not until about 4 or 5 am. And by 6 am the dog wanted up, because she is really liking this home-cooked diet, and wanted to eat. By 6:30 if my sorry butt is not out of bed feeding her, it gets ugly.
So today at work I'm just trying to avoid everyone. :( For my own sake and theirs. ;)
So now I have to find someone to go to the store and buy me some Sudafed, since it's under lock and key in the pharmacy and you have to show ID to buy it. Thank You Meth Heads. :( I refuse to do this, so get someone else to buy it for me. LOL. It just irritates the hell out of me that I have to prove who I am and get tracked in a database all because I need some sudafed. And no, that "new" Sudafed PE does NOT work. There's a REASON the orignal had pseudoephedrine in it.
Okay, now that the crankiness is out of me, for awhile, I feel better. :) [I'm worse than a little kid when I'm sick. g.]
Had a nice weekend. Saturday I actually got motivated. Still haven't REVed, but I did get out in the yard for 2 hours and tackled one of the flower beds by the front door. Weeded, almost killed the iris/tulip thing spontaneously growing there, and FINALLY took out the rock wall edging. That someone used mortar or something to hold together. They must have just poured the mortar over the pretty blue-gray rocks, because it looks like someone spilled oatmeal over the border. Verrrryyyy attractive. Not. So 2 hours with a hammer knocking that stuff down and stacking the rocks to the side. I must admit, toward the end, I just piled the stupid things in the middle of the sidewalk. Too tired to carry them to the end of the house where the rest were. Anyway, it looks much, much nicer now. I'll tackle the other bed this weekend. Maybe. A friend has promised to come by and use a jack-hammer to tear out the sidewalk/concrete out the back door so I can put in a patio. (It's all crooked and broken, and some of it slants toward the house. Just lovely when it rains.)
Halfway through all this yard work, I was thirsty. So I ran inside and grabbed the glass of water I'd left on the counter and chugged it. Surprise! It wasn't water. At least, not really. Gag, ackkkk. Apparently when I threw away a bamboo stalk I was trying to save, I didn't empty the glass containing the water & Sprite it had been sitting in for several days. Gross. I feel like throwing up again just thinking about it. Sigh. And that stupidity I can't even blame on the sudafed.
So after finishing up that flower bed, I slept for two or three hours, until my little sister arrived and woke me up. LOL. We hung out for a little while. She went to her first dance on Friday night, and got an eye-opening lesson on group dynamics. The boy she likes, who is usually nice, caved in to pressure from his friends and joined in with teasing/being mean to a girl she has known all her life. So know she doesn't know if she likes him any more. Sigh. Growing up sucks sometimes, you know?
Yesterday was drizzly and gray, so I used that as an excuse to do nothing but laundry and vacuum. Well, that and the fact that I woke up in the middle of the night with a sinus headache and pressure. Been taking Sudafed ever since. Which has a tendency to knock me out for a few hours and then keep me awake. Usually won't take it after about 3pm so I can get a good night's sleep. But I was in too much pain yesterday, so last night I had the brilliant idea to take a sleeping pill before bed. FYI, it doesn't cancel out the Sudafed. At least, not until about 4 or 5 am. And by 6 am the dog wanted up, because she is really liking this home-cooked diet, and wanted to eat. By 6:30 if my sorry butt is not out of bed feeding her, it gets ugly.
So today at work I'm just trying to avoid everyone. :( For my own sake and theirs. ;)
Friday, May 11, 2007
Stone cold sober, I find myself fascinating
Katherine Hepburn said that in an interview with Dick Cavett on his show, 1973.
It was on Turner Classic Movies last night. And has to have been one of the funniest things I've seen/heard in a long time. :) Makes me grin just remembering it. I originally put it on for background noise to fall asleep to, but was too fascinated by it. She was great. I've always liked her, but find myself admiring her more now and wanting to read her autobiography. [Just checked, it's available on Audio CD read by none other than Katharine herself! I must get this!] She must have been a hoot to know.
When she said that line, it was in response to Cavett asking her about drinking and drugs, etc, when she was in Hollywood, then, now. In reference to cocaine she remarked that she "had enough energy on her own." Then she made the comment that became my title today. My ribs hurt by the end of the interview from laughing.
She totally took control of that interview. Like I imagine she took control of her life. We should all be so lucky to be as wonderfully at ease and peace with our decisions as she came across in this interview...
I really need to get it on tape.
Cavett: "Do you regret never having acted with [Lawrence] Olivier?"
Hepburn: "Neither of us is dead yet."
It was on Turner Classic Movies last night. And has to have been one of the funniest things I've seen/heard in a long time. :) Makes me grin just remembering it. I originally put it on for background noise to fall asleep to, but was too fascinated by it. She was great. I've always liked her, but find myself admiring her more now and wanting to read her autobiography. [Just checked, it's available on Audio CD read by none other than Katharine herself! I must get this!] She must have been a hoot to know.
When she said that line, it was in response to Cavett asking her about drinking and drugs, etc, when she was in Hollywood, then, now. In reference to cocaine she remarked that she "had enough energy on her own." Then she made the comment that became my title today. My ribs hurt by the end of the interview from laughing.
She totally took control of that interview. Like I imagine she took control of her life. We should all be so lucky to be as wonderfully at ease and peace with our decisions as she came across in this interview...
I really need to get it on tape.
Cavett: "Do you regret never having acted with [Lawrence] Olivier?"
Hepburn: "Neither of us is dead yet."
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
The Usual
Well, it seems I am back to my usual self, my usual pattern. I go strong for days then nothing.
Last weekend was really nice up until Sunday. Little Sis S spent the night (first time in new house) and I dog-sat her dogs until late Sunday afternoon. Her mom and step-dad were out of town for his birthday, and to use the 2-nights at the West Yellowstone hotel I gave them for their wedding. [Gotta love some of the perks I can occasionally get for my job.] So Friday after work I went out to their house in the valley to pick up the dogs. I didn't mind the additional time or mileage, because it's just getting to the really good parts of "Rebecca" on audio book, so any excuse to drive...Then I headed back to E.H. to pick up S at her Dad's (thankfully just up the road from my place) and to my house. Pretty much from 6pm to 9pm we didn't stop moving. Seriously. First we had to cook our dinner, and then I had to fix Scully's home-cooked meal. Then we sat and ate (never takes as long as the prep, does it) and then there was cleaning up from all that cooking! I said to S "Now you know why I only cook a few times a week." [g]
By that point friends had shown up with their 14 y.o. son J. to mow my yard (desperately needed). It was very weird - the section outside my back door, in the bend of the L-shape of my house, the grass was literally taller than my knees. But just at the end of the short part of the L, as if someone drew a line off the edge of the house, the grass dropped down to only 4 inches tall. No fooling. Very bizarre!
S. was very much into her drama/diva persona while J. was there. She did help with the cleanup, oh, yes, because that got her outside where he was. LOL. And she was so insistent on showing me the latest flips and cartwheels and fantastic things she can do from gymnastics. By the time we were done, I took my friend P. for a tour of the house (she hadn't seen the inside yet) and S. stayed outside with J. It would have been so cute if it hadn't been scary. I guess the teen years are not as far away as her mom and I would like to think!
Anyway, shortly after they left we crashed. Hard. LOL. Put me in front of the TV and I fall asleep every time (I swear I inherited this from mom!). Didn't think the same would happen to S. But I guess she'd had a long day too.
Saturday I went with my friend Morning Owl to the big "4th Annual Spring Garage Sale" at the county fairgrounds. What a let-down! It was very small. But we were having such a good time we got a list of garage sales from the paper and spent most of the day hunting for bargains. I didn't find a bicycle, but found a few other things. Biggest find of the day was when we got into the "rich people" side of town. [Up the hill behind the capitol...my gosh, there are roads up there I didn't realize existed!] This one house had so many audio books on CD it was insane! There were these two huge bags full, almost as tall as me. I couldn't get through most of it. I got two J.D. Robb books on audio CD - unabridged - for $20! They're usually $40 each so this was great. :) Made myself stop looking at that point as I was out of money.
By the time I got home that afternoon I was wiped out. Had a migraine by Sunday, and ended up cancelling our outing to see "Fiddler on the Roof". S was upset, naturally, but understood. I hated doing it, but was in so much pain and of course, was out of my migraine meds. Sigh. I hate re-filling that prescription. It's just wrong to have to pay $50 for nine lousy pills. It's just plain wrong!
Funnily enough, a cup of hot chocolate and 2 pieces of peanut butter toast helped 'cure' the migraine enough for me to go to bed and actually sleep! Naturally, by end of day yesterday it was back in full force, but hey...beggars can't be choosers!
Last weekend was really nice up until Sunday. Little Sis S spent the night (first time in new house) and I dog-sat her dogs until late Sunday afternoon. Her mom and step-dad were out of town for his birthday, and to use the 2-nights at the West Yellowstone hotel I gave them for their wedding. [Gotta love some of the perks I can occasionally get for my job.] So Friday after work I went out to their house in the valley to pick up the dogs. I didn't mind the additional time or mileage, because it's just getting to the really good parts of "Rebecca" on audio book, so any excuse to drive...Then I headed back to E.H. to pick up S at her Dad's (thankfully just up the road from my place) and to my house. Pretty much from 6pm to 9pm we didn't stop moving. Seriously. First we had to cook our dinner, and then I had to fix Scully's home-cooked meal. Then we sat and ate (never takes as long as the prep, does it) and then there was cleaning up from all that cooking! I said to S "Now you know why I only cook a few times a week." [g]
By that point friends had shown up with their 14 y.o. son J. to mow my yard (desperately needed). It was very weird - the section outside my back door, in the bend of the L-shape of my house, the grass was literally taller than my knees. But just at the end of the short part of the L, as if someone drew a line off the edge of the house, the grass dropped down to only 4 inches tall. No fooling. Very bizarre!
S. was very much into her drama/diva persona while J. was there. She did help with the cleanup, oh, yes, because that got her outside where he was. LOL. And she was so insistent on showing me the latest flips and cartwheels and fantastic things she can do from gymnastics. By the time we were done, I took my friend P. for a tour of the house (she hadn't seen the inside yet) and S. stayed outside with J. It would have been so cute if it hadn't been scary. I guess the teen years are not as far away as her mom and I would like to think!
Anyway, shortly after they left we crashed. Hard. LOL. Put me in front of the TV and I fall asleep every time (I swear I inherited this from mom!). Didn't think the same would happen to S. But I guess she'd had a long day too.
Saturday I went with my friend Morning Owl to the big "4th Annual Spring Garage Sale" at the county fairgrounds. What a let-down! It was very small. But we were having such a good time we got a list of garage sales from the paper and spent most of the day hunting for bargains. I didn't find a bicycle, but found a few other things. Biggest find of the day was when we got into the "rich people" side of town. [Up the hill behind the capitol...my gosh, there are roads up there I didn't realize existed!] This one house had so many audio books on CD it was insane! There were these two huge bags full, almost as tall as me. I couldn't get through most of it. I got two J.D. Robb books on audio CD - unabridged - for $20! They're usually $40 each so this was great. :) Made myself stop looking at that point as I was out of money.
By the time I got home that afternoon I was wiped out. Had a migraine by Sunday, and ended up cancelling our outing to see "Fiddler on the Roof". S was upset, naturally, but understood. I hated doing it, but was in so much pain and of course, was out of my migraine meds. Sigh. I hate re-filling that prescription. It's just wrong to have to pay $50 for nine lousy pills. It's just plain wrong!
Funnily enough, a cup of hot chocolate and 2 pieces of peanut butter toast helped 'cure' the migraine enough for me to go to bed and actually sleep! Naturally, by end of day yesterday it was back in full force, but hey...beggars can't be choosers!
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Politics, politics, politics...
Always a subject that can rile me up, a subject I'm interested in. I've been trying to avoid the national news, because the Democrats are setting themselves up to Lose the next elections. And the President is being his regular self-absorbed, egotistical, 'I'm the bully of the school-yard' self.
But surprisingly, this week I'm struggling with politics on a local level. Because I just found out (quite by accident) that there is a school election coming up on May 8th for the town I live in. Ummm, hello? Why haven't I heard about this? It's not posted anywhere, not even the school's website. Nothing in the post office, nothing on the city's website, nothing came in the mail...What the heck is up with that? A coworker said they probably only mail out notices to parents so they will be more likely to get the funding approved. That sucks. And is probably true. Thank goodness for my home page, with my local news!
I've had a heck of a time finding info, calling multiple school board and superintendent offices. Turns out there are TWO elections. One on the 8th for the elementary school district, and one on May 22nd for the high school district. Both of which I am supposed to vote in. The shock in these people's voices when I ask them if there is any material I can read before going to vote. I mean, really...Don't you think I oughta be informed????
All of these levies they are trying to get approved are last minute because our state government couldn't put aside their pathetic squabbling to approve a state budget, school budget and one other thing I can't remember because I'm tired right now. So they adjourned the session and left town. So the Governor has to call a "special" session, which is going to cost Montana taxpayers millions, so they can squabble some more over who has the right idea on how to spend the money the government doesn't even have yet (projected surplus). :( What a freakin' bunch of idiots. And sadly, I did help put a few of them in office. From what I can tell, however, it's a handful on each side of the aisle that are causing the problems, the ones in control of the powerful committees. They're able to stall/kill/table bills and motions just because a different one of theirs was. Pathetic. Give them a good spanking and then ground them all, I say. They're acting like 5 year olds and should be treated as such.
One of my coworkers said to me "Just vote no." Arghhh. Am I the only one that understands the importance of sufficiently funded schools? I mean, they get bad because they are the first place we cut funds when money is tight. And frankly, I live in this town so I'd like the kids around me to grow up not stupid, okay? A better trained/educated work force attracts better paying jobs, and helps the economy for everyone! [Banging head against wall] What if it's actually a good plan? Economically feasible, well-planned, and won't hike my property taxes that much. Geez. Just voting "no" right off the bat doesn't sound like a good idea. Neither does voting yes, either.
Granted, just throwing money at the school won't fix all the problems. But if there's no money to have enough space or teachers or computers, what the heck can we expect? Maybe if we paid a realistic wage to teachers, we'd have better quality ones. And maybe if we stopped molly-coddling kids and make them accountable as well...
Whoa. I'll stop now. My point is, whatever happened to informed, educated and thought-through voting? Maybe then things wouldn't be so screwed up in this country.
But surprisingly, this week I'm struggling with politics on a local level. Because I just found out (quite by accident) that there is a school election coming up on May 8th for the town I live in. Ummm, hello? Why haven't I heard about this? It's not posted anywhere, not even the school's website. Nothing in the post office, nothing on the city's website, nothing came in the mail...What the heck is up with that? A coworker said they probably only mail out notices to parents so they will be more likely to get the funding approved. That sucks. And is probably true. Thank goodness for my home page, with my local news!
I've had a heck of a time finding info, calling multiple school board and superintendent offices. Turns out there are TWO elections. One on the 8th for the elementary school district, and one on May 22nd for the high school district. Both of which I am supposed to vote in. The shock in these people's voices when I ask them if there is any material I can read before going to vote. I mean, really...Don't you think I oughta be informed????
All of these levies they are trying to get approved are last minute because our state government couldn't put aside their pathetic squabbling to approve a state budget, school budget and one other thing I can't remember because I'm tired right now. So they adjourned the session and left town. So the Governor has to call a "special" session, which is going to cost Montana taxpayers millions, so they can squabble some more over who has the right idea on how to spend the money the government doesn't even have yet (projected surplus). :( What a freakin' bunch of idiots. And sadly, I did help put a few of them in office. From what I can tell, however, it's a handful on each side of the aisle that are causing the problems, the ones in control of the powerful committees. They're able to stall/kill/table bills and motions just because a different one of theirs was. Pathetic. Give them a good spanking and then ground them all, I say. They're acting like 5 year olds and should be treated as such.
One of my coworkers said to me "Just vote no." Arghhh. Am I the only one that understands the importance of sufficiently funded schools? I mean, they get bad because they are the first place we cut funds when money is tight. And frankly, I live in this town so I'd like the kids around me to grow up not stupid, okay? A better trained/educated work force attracts better paying jobs, and helps the economy for everyone! [Banging head against wall] What if it's actually a good plan? Economically feasible, well-planned, and won't hike my property taxes that much. Geez. Just voting "no" right off the bat doesn't sound like a good idea. Neither does voting yes, either.
Granted, just throwing money at the school won't fix all the problems. But if there's no money to have enough space or teachers or computers, what the heck can we expect? Maybe if we paid a realistic wage to teachers, we'd have better quality ones. And maybe if we stopped molly-coddling kids and make them accountable as well...
Whoa. I'll stop now. My point is, whatever happened to informed, educated and thought-through voting? Maybe then things wouldn't be so screwed up in this country.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The Power of Fifteen
Today I woke up in one of the nicest ways possible. With a phone call from one of my best friends wishing me a happy birthday. It was totally unexpected. In fact, I was expecting my Mom to call, as she’s done every morning for the last 2 weeks in an effort to help me get my sorry butt out of bed to REV before work. Really. You’d think getting up 15 minutes early wouldn’t be so hard to do. Apparently, for me, the original morning person, it is!
We had a wonderful chat, especially since we haven’t talked in months! I always ask myself, why do I let it go so long between phone calls or emails or letters? It’s a simple and pleasurable enough task, yet I never seem to get around to doing it. Weird. Then Mom called and really, how nice is it to hear Mom saying “Good Morning, I love you” first thing in the morning? [Insert Warm Fuzzies Here] Even though the phone calls took the place of my 15 minutes of exercise, I bounded out of bed in a great mood!
Determined to keep this outlook on the day, I made it to work 10 minutes early. ‘Traffic’ must have been with me today. Only to come in the door to conversations about yesterday’s tragic shootings at Virginia Tech. And the realization that a day that starts so beautifully can change so quickly. I know this already…I’ve had days changed tragically in less than a second myself. Getting the call that my grandfather was dying, getting the call that my aunt was dead…Strange how that one second can feel so heavy and horrible and like the weight of a thousand bricks on you, not coming one by one, but all at once. As if it was always there, you just didn’t notice – or care – before.
And just how suddenly it can change again to the opposite, with a phone call from my sister wishing me a happy birthday. Asking if the ‘package’ my 3 year old niece made for my birthday and helped to mail has arrived. (Must be what that lovely yellow slip I found in my post office box last night is for, that little slip that gives a huge warm ‘someone-thought-of-me-enough-to-send-a-package’ feeling.) Fifteen unexpected minutes out of my morning to chat with my older sister, whom I adore.
So now I’m back to where I was before, with a warm fuzzy in my chest, a smile on my face, and the wonder at the power of fifteen minutes. I think it’s my new favorite number.
We had a wonderful chat, especially since we haven’t talked in months! I always ask myself, why do I let it go so long between phone calls or emails or letters? It’s a simple and pleasurable enough task, yet I never seem to get around to doing it. Weird. Then Mom called and really, how nice is it to hear Mom saying “Good Morning, I love you” first thing in the morning? [Insert Warm Fuzzies Here] Even though the phone calls took the place of my 15 minutes of exercise, I bounded out of bed in a great mood!
Determined to keep this outlook on the day, I made it to work 10 minutes early. ‘Traffic’ must have been with me today. Only to come in the door to conversations about yesterday’s tragic shootings at Virginia Tech. And the realization that a day that starts so beautifully can change so quickly. I know this already…I’ve had days changed tragically in less than a second myself. Getting the call that my grandfather was dying, getting the call that my aunt was dead…Strange how that one second can feel so heavy and horrible and like the weight of a thousand bricks on you, not coming one by one, but all at once. As if it was always there, you just didn’t notice – or care – before.
And just how suddenly it can change again to the opposite, with a phone call from my sister wishing me a happy birthday. Asking if the ‘package’ my 3 year old niece made for my birthday and helped to mail has arrived. (Must be what that lovely yellow slip I found in my post office box last night is for, that little slip that gives a huge warm ‘someone-thought-of-me-enough-to-send-a-package’ feeling.) Fifteen unexpected minutes out of my morning to chat with my older sister, whom I adore.
So now I’m back to where I was before, with a warm fuzzy in my chest, a smile on my face, and the wonder at the power of fifteen minutes. I think it’s my new favorite number.
Monday, April 16, 2007
They All Fall Down
This past weekend we were supposed to go hiking on Mount Helena. It's my goal to be able to hike to the top (the 1906 trail, the easy one, of course) by summer's end. Well, our plans were postponed on Saturday for a lot of reasons that we really could have overcome. Except. really, we let these little "pebbles" become boulders in our paths. So S and I ended up going to the park (not our normal one) so she could practice gymnastics on the bars (some kind of pull-up twirl-over deal she's trying to master) and I decided this would be the perfect time to tackle my nemesis - The Monkey Bars.
Now, over the last 5 years that my little sister S. and I have been matched, we've gone to the park lots of times. And I've never been able to do more than just dangle from the first rung on the monkey bars. Thanks to working out with the BodyRev, I now have arm strength (and Biceps! Look, Ma, I got Biceps!!!). Which makes me determined to make it all the way across before I die. Which may be sooner than I plan if those darn Monkey Bars have anything to say about it... I thought the stupid thing was higher than it was (like at the park we usually go to). So I climbed up, grabbed the first bar, threw myself forward toward the second bar, and tripped over my own two feet. Seriously. Hu-mil-eee-ate-ing.... Tumbled and rolled and everything. It was rather spectacular, and there was quite an audience. When I first joined S. on the equipment, I was getting not-so-friendly looks from the other adults there. The message was coming through loud and clear "Don't make us look bad by getting up there in front of our kids."
After the 'fall' they all smugly looked at their kids and each other, and that message came through loud and clear as well! I’m sure the next time they go to the playground and their kids whine for them to play, they’ll trot me out as a warning "Remember that one lady who fell off the monkey bars? Now, you wouldn't want that to happen to Mom or Dad, would you?"
Of course, S. just stood there staring at me like I was a lunatic. Probably because once I stopped tumbling, I lay there looking up at the bright blue Montana sky and laughing like a loon. [g]
Hey, it's either laughter or tears, and frankly, I was embarassed enough as it was.
Now, over the last 5 years that my little sister S. and I have been matched, we've gone to the park lots of times. And I've never been able to do more than just dangle from the first rung on the monkey bars. Thanks to working out with the BodyRev, I now have arm strength (and Biceps! Look, Ma, I got Biceps!!!). Which makes me determined to make it all the way across before I die. Which may be sooner than I plan if those darn Monkey Bars have anything to say about it... I thought the stupid thing was higher than it was (like at the park we usually go to). So I climbed up, grabbed the first bar, threw myself forward toward the second bar, and tripped over my own two feet. Seriously. Hu-mil-eee-ate-ing.... Tumbled and rolled and everything. It was rather spectacular, and there was quite an audience. When I first joined S. on the equipment, I was getting not-so-friendly looks from the other adults there. The message was coming through loud and clear "Don't make us look bad by getting up there in front of our kids."
After the 'fall' they all smugly looked at their kids and each other, and that message came through loud and clear as well! I’m sure the next time they go to the playground and their kids whine for them to play, they’ll trot me out as a warning "Remember that one lady who fell off the monkey bars? Now, you wouldn't want that to happen to Mom or Dad, would you?"
Of course, S. just stood there staring at me like I was a lunatic. Probably because once I stopped tumbling, I lay there looking up at the bright blue Montana sky and laughing like a loon. [g]
Hey, it's either laughter or tears, and frankly, I was embarassed enough as it was.
Friday, April 13, 2007
First Thoughts
Not sure why I'm creating this blog, or how many people I'll even let see it. For now, it's just for me. I guess I've been wanting someplace to put the thoughts that go "up my mind" as one of my favorite poets says.
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