It's funny the things we think about

Sitrep: 1x Arms, 1x Cardio
Yay! I'm REVing again. :)

When I was 9 or 10 years old, while Dad was stationed in Germany, we went on vacation to Holland and Amsterdam. I don't remember much about the trip, it was so long ago. But I do remember 2 parts vividly: the shoe carving factory where we got our own shoes with our names engraved on them, and our visit to the Anne Frank House.

At the time I had, if anything, a vague knowledge of WWII and the holocaust. I'm not sure I even knew who Anne Frank was. I remember being intrigued that a girl, just a few years older than me, and her family lived up there for so long. Hidden away in fear for their lives. The secret stairs behind the bookcase were so tiny and steep and narrow. I remember thinking that, even though at that age I was pretty tiny myself. And once upstairs in the secret annex, it seemed so small and cramped. To this day I'm not sure of the exact size & space...there were so many people on the tour it seemed the rooms were packed. Those are my memories of the trip.

Being a voracious reader already, I asked my parents to get me a copy of Anne Frank's diary from the gift shop. Which they did. And I read it. Was it too early an age to read the book? I don't know. Realistically it's probably what started my interest in WWII and the Holocaust and history in general. But the ending haunted me. Saddened me. Frustrated me. And many years later would leave me feeling sort of betrayed (for reasons I'll get too). I would turn time and again to those last pages that reported what happened after the families were turned over to the Nazis. Especially the few short paragraphs that "described" what happened to the girls. It told how the family was separated, how their mother died, where the girls ended up, and how they died of typhoid in their beds just days before the camp was liberated. (I remember one of the girls died from falling out of her bed trying to get water for the sister). It made it sound so...humane. So...clean. I was haunted by the unfairness of dying just days before liberation, of their parents dying too, of the whole thing. I'd re-write the ending in my head as I went to sleep or just while daydreaming.

Once I really got into the history and horror of the concentration camps (we also went to Dachau on another vacation), it started to bother me, that portrayal of the girls' deaths. It seemed a rather peaceful way to go, which was nothing like what I was learning. But I never really thought about it. Even when I heard that her father had edited out parts unfavorable to the mother, etc. It wasn't until a few years ago that I really and truly realized the depth of the deception at the end of that book, when I watched the 2001 movie Anne Frank, The Whole Story. The stark, brutal inhumanity of the concentration camps...

Even though I was an adult and knew it couldn't have been that way, I just felt so lied to by the book. How could they have done that? Was it for Otto Frank's sanity? Did he need to believe that's how his girls died? Was it not known, really, how bad that it was? The details, the deception, were not needed. They could have just said that the girls died at Bergen-Belsen.

Anyway. Not sure where this came from, but I was thinking about it when I got up this morning. Bizarre. I'd like to read the diary again, but am hesitant for fear I'll have some other childhood illusion/impression shattered. And there are so many editions now, when I looked into it I couldn't figure out which one had the most of her actual diary with the least amount of editing.

It's funny, isn't it, the things we remember, what makes an impression.

According to Earl

I don't have a cat, but I have plenty of friends that do. So I've heard the stories; even seen a few incidents with my own eyes (there was this living room where it looked like several hundred birds had exploded - the feathers, my god, the feathers!) But I seriously feel today like something the cat dragged in. No, not just dragged in. Something the cat dragged in alive and proceeded to toss around the room and fervently abuse, torment and thrash for several hours. That's how I feel today.

Gee, see what a little milk in my diet, no exercise, lack of sleep, 4 nights of vivid dreams & an insanely busy day at work will do to me? Next time I crave Frosted Mini-Wheats I'm gonna say no.

So I finally got around to trying to fix the broken handle to the gas heater for the "back" half of the house. (Hah...laundry/sun porch & kitchen). Some of you may recall how I broke it several weeks back using a hammer to ahhh, finesse, it open. Haven't a clue who to get to fix it. It's not like "broken gas valves" are actually listed in the yellow pages. Soooo....I called my energy company. I also asked how to shut off the gas so the work can be done. I can't find a shutoff valve in the basement. So. I get this call from the energy company tech. He wants to know if I'm at the house. I say no, but I can be in about 15 minutes. He wants me to get there faster. I go, well, I'm in "H" and the house is in "E.H." It takes about 15 minutes to drive there....Then he starts asking me what I need, etc. So I explain what work I need done. He's quiet, and then he says "You the lady that was doing all that remodeling?" I say yes. He goes. "I'm the same guy as before. You're just getting around to replacing the heat?" Now, I can understand his surprise - the last time he was at my house the only heat source was the defunct monstrosity in the living room, that he helped disconnect. After he fixed the gas leak caused by us moving the oven. And that was just the first day in the house.

So now I have to explain that I did get heaters put in, only I've broken the shut-off/turn-on valve to one of them and can't light the pilot because I can't turn the gas on. He was really quiet. Then he goes "you are hiring someone to do this repair, right?" Umm, sort-of. A friend's going to do it for me. Big sigh from him. Then he tells me there is no shut-off in the house. He has to turn the gas off at the meter. Then he'll come back and turn it on when we're done, and light all the appliances. [Should I tell him I've been lighting them myself this whole time? blink, blink]

So I ask him what hours I can do that during. He's quiet again. [Geez, do I really sound that stupid?] Then he asks, "When you plannin' on doin' this?" Umm, in the evening? Saturday maybe? No response. So then I said "Look, just tell me during what hours I can make the request to turn on/off the gas, and I'll get it done during that time, okay?" He laughed. And sighed when I asked him what his name is. It's Earl. I now know the power/gas company technician. And he not only knows me, he thinks I'm a complete idiot. I think I scare him. But that's okay. Sometimes I think I scare myself. ;)

A Portrait of Me

Sitrep: Zero anything. It's beyond frustrating. Worked late both the last 2 nights. Will again tonight. Sleeping horribly. Can't seem to get up early. Actually, having trouble getting up at all!

This is me today

The Big Read Under the Big Sky

Sitrep: 1x Arms (2wts), 1x Cardio, 1x Abs, 1x Walk (10min), 15 min Stretching/Qigong, 30 min Yard work (mowing, weeding)

Saturday was a great day. One of those crisp fall days full of sunshine when you just want to be outside. Perfect for the annual Festival of the Book done by our local library. This year they are taking part in "The Big Read", an initiative of the National Endowment for the Arts in partnership with the Institute of Museum and Library Services and Arts Midwest. The book picked for our county just happens to be one of my absolute favorites, To Kill A Mockingbird.

The opening events were in one of the parks next to the library. I took my little sister Shanni and her older sister KT. I can't believe how excited they were! They must have called me several times Friday night, even after we'd made all the arrangements. Shanni was so concerned we wouldn't get there in time to get our free copies of the book. [g] (I had them listening to it in the car with me this summer when we did our 2 trips to Bozeman.) The library had 2000 copies to give out. There were actually quite a few people getting them, too.

It was a great event. All sorts of booths were set up, there was music and dancing. One of the local dance troupes did some Irish Dancing. There was Native American drumming and chanting. They even had chairs and drumming sticks (I have no idea if that's what they're called; know nothing about drumming!) set out for anyone who wanted to to join in. Shanni loves drumming, so she jumped right in. After a few seconds I sat down too. It was captivating, the rhythm of the chanting and the drum beats. I can see how easy it would be to slip into a trance-like state. Very good meditation! Except my arm got very tired after a few minutes. Guess I should have done all my Arms workouts last week!

We also got to sit in the driver's seat of a police car and have one of the officer's show us all the gadgets. Even KT, who's not as much of a geek as Shanni & I, was interested. Until Shanni flashed us in the eyes with the spotlight trying to rotate it to the front of the car. Yikes. But it was very cool to see how all that stuff works. I had no idea how much of a drain all those on-board computers are for the car batteries. The officer was telling us they had to install those remote jump starters (or whatever they're called) to actually start the engine sometimes. If he were to shut the car off but have the computer and cameras up and running, it would drain the battery almost completely in ten minutes! Yikes. Maybe it's because the technology is newer for our small town. He said they're still looking into battery options, etc. I was amazed at the quality of the camera system. There's an on board hard drive that it goes to. If they need to keep it, they pull the hard drive, take it to the station and burn it onto disc. Wow. No more grainy b&W VHS! Anyway, he was very nice and patient with all of Shanni's questions. Which is not something I can always say about myself!

Then, of course, we spent several hours in the library itself, just browsing. We ran into Shanni's English teacher, and Shanni was so proud to introduce me. Ah, I remember those days! Shanni also got her own library card. She checked her books out before the rest of us were even done browsing! Since it was so nice out, and was lunch time, we decided to stroll the walking mall and ended up at The Parrot Confectionery (a landmark around here since 1919) for lunch. Not a bad place to go. A bowl of Campbell's soup, and a small sundae for $4.50 is a pretty decent lunch. It's a fun place to hang out; old-fashioned booths and jukebox, collection of elephant statues and other miscellaneous stuff decorating the walls. And, of course, there's the inevitable noses-pressed-to-the-glass at the candy/chocolate counter. ;)

We spent the rest of the afternoon strolling up & down the rest of the Walking Mall, & Last Chance Gulch, which is one of those typical small town "down town" streets. Went into the Antique Mall, which is always fun to browse. The girls had so much fun trying on the old hats...And no trip downtown is complete without a stop in Aunt Bonnie's bookstore, one of our two used book stores. Alas, the lady working that day was burning way too much incense, and I could only stay around ten minutes. Ended up with a low-grade headache. Sigh. Usually it's not so bad in the store. I've been able in the past to stay a half hour and more.

And that was our Saturday. It was just a fun day all around. :)

Yesterday was a lazy day. Did laundry, some housework. No REVing. Sigh. But I did weed along the side of the house (that stuff was 12" high already!), and mowed the yard. Hopefully for the last time until Spring. :) We've had a lot of rain lately, and unseasonably warm temps, so who knows. I might be mowing until Christmas at this rate!

In the evening, I was channel-surfing and ended up finding "Legally Blonde, The Musical" on MTV. It was great! I like Broadway musicals anyway, but this was just fun all around. I wish I'd caught it at the beginning, but missed about a half hour or so. I had a silly grin on my face through most of it. I hope they sell it on DVD. They don't do that enough, in my opinion. (Like when PBS showed "The Light in the Piazza" on Live from Lincoln Center. They still haven't issued that on DVD.) I'm definitely going to add "Legally Blonde, The Musical" to my CD collection. What a find! Who'd've thought a Broadway Musical would be shown on MTV? I must see if they're going to re-run it.

On Personal Responsibility

Sitrep: 1x Arms (2wts), 1x Cardio, 1x Abs, 1x Walk (10min), 15 min Stretching/Qigong

There's been an interesting discussion on the bulletin board today. It was sparked by a news article that CA has banned smoking in cars with children in them.

I haven't really gotten into the discussion because I've been thinking about it all day. I'm less and less inclined to support government mandates restricting personal actions. It seems to me that the more our government, whether it begins on the state level and moves national, or vice versa, tells us what we can do, the less personal responsibility we take for our own actions. We become more and more childlike, emotional, and out of control.

The ban on smoking seemed harmless enough to me. Yes, it causes cancer. Yes, it's a disgusing, foul smelling habit (in my opinion!). But what right do I have to tell someone that they can't smoke? What right does anyone have to tell anyone else that? Yes, second-hand smoke causes cancer. There are many things that cause cancer. We can't ban them all. Do I think there should be some restrictions? Yes. I firmly believe we should educate on the dangers of smoking. Have smoke-free environments. But not total bans.

And then to move that ban into someone's personal space like their car. It will be their home next. And no, I'm not getting all Orwellian. It's going to happen "for the good of the children". It's the phrase that wells emotions, that gets people to agree. It's not a far step from the car to the house. And then where? Obesity will be next. After all, smoking was contributing to the rising cost of health care. [Which keeps rising, by the way, even though the numbers of people smoking has decreased as dramatically as the costs of health care have been going up.] How do we get people to stop being fat? Why, we fine them if they feed their children the "wrong" kinds of food. Then it will move to everyone, not just children. There will be sin taxes on fast food, junk food, etc., just like on alcohol and smoking. Television, cable, computers, games, books...all will be regulated so we don't spend too much time sitting and getting fat. How about government mandated exercise periods?

And after we tackle that? What bad habit will we need to be saved from then? How about our decaying morals. "For the good of the children" they need to be taught the right morals. The only way (in a lot of people's minds) to have morals is to go to church. And by church, in my experience, they are usually referring to Christianity.

We are already on the slippery slope of the government "saving us from ourselves". We are ceding control over the most fundamental of things - how we live our lives, how we raise our children - to the government. To other people.

When did personal responsibility, common sense and individual liberty give way to the supremacy of society's rights and governmental regulation?

"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniencies attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it."
THOMAS JEFFERSON, letter to Archibald Stuart, December 23, 1791.—The Writings of Thomas Jefferson, ed. Paul L. Ford, vol. 5, p. 409 (1895).

"The true danger is when liberty is nibbled away, for expedients, and by parts."
EDMUND BURKE, letter to the Sheriffs of Bristol, April 3, 1777.—The Works of the Right Honorable Edmund Burke, vol. 2, p. 199 (1899).

Some quotes from John Stuart Mill's "On Liberty" (which I find to be fascinating reading, and available online):

"But in each person’s own concerns, his individual spontaneity is entitled to free exercise. Considerations to aid his judgment, exhortations to strengthen his will, may be offered to him, even obtruded on him, by others; but he, himself, is the final judge. All errors which he is likely to commit against advice and warning, are far outweighed by the evil of allowing others to constrain him to what they deem his good." Mill, John Stuart. On Liberty. Vol. XXV, Part 2. The Harvard Classics. New York: P.F. Collier & Son, 1909–14; Bartleby.com, 2001.

"A theory of “social rights,” the like of which probably never before found its way into distinct language—being nothing short of this—that it is the absolute social right of every individual, that every other individual shall act in every respect exactly as he ought; that whosoever fails thereof in the smallest particular, violates my social right, and entitles me to demand from the legislature the removal of the grievance. So monstrous a principle is far more dangerous than any single interference with liberty; there is no violation of liberty which it would not justify; it acknowledges no right to any freedom whatever, except perhaps to that of holding opinions in secret, without ever disclosing them; for the moment an opinion which I consider noxious, passes any one’s lips, it invades all the “social rights” attributed to me... "
Mill, John Stuart. On Liberty. Vol. XXV, Part 2. The Harvard Classics. New York: P.F. Collier & Son, 1909–14; Bartleby.com, 2001.

Putting on my thinking cap...

Sitrep: 1x Arms (2wts), 1x Cardio, 1x Abs, 15 min Stretching

I'm sure it's not news to anybody that we're full-swing into a presidential election cycle. It's dominating everything, unfortunately. And me being me, I keep following all this political stuff. What's even more interesting is that Shanni is starting to pay attention (partly my fault!) and learn about this kind of stuff in social studies.

And I'm starting to hear the refrain I used to say myself "If you don't vote, you can't complain." Like I wrote, I used to hold that belief myself. Until I got disillusioned with the whole system from the top down, and couldn't bear to vote at all. Which made me think; why can't I complain if I don't vote? It's hard to see where my vote counts or makes a difference. I'm given an either or choice. Especially in the presidential vote, where the primary system makes my voice moot. The candidates are selected by a small section of the population. Giving me that either or. And if neither of those are my choice, my vote doesn't count. There's no official "none of the above" vote. They only count for or against those candidates listed. And the actual costs to me to go and vote are not taken into account either. They may be small in the grand scheme of things, but they are large to me. My time is precious, and my free time is even more so since it is as limited as it is.

I'm starting to get over my disillusionment. At least, to the point where I am willing to take part in the process again, and hopefully, someday, things may be different. And I won't feel so marginalized.

I've been doing research on the candidates and the issues, and get so frustrated at my own lack of knowledge/understanding on our political system. The whole primary selection process in particular. I just don't remember much talk on that in school. Maybe there was. I found some interesting articles on the primary system, it's benefits and drawbacks, and some potential negative consequences of the current "front-loading" of the presidential primaries, an article on voting itself, and some ideas for election reform.

Is it rational to vote?
http://www.thisnation.com/question/052.html

America’s Hit or Miss Primary System
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2007/03/americas_hit_or_miss_primary_s.html

Racing to the Start
http://hprsite.squarespace.com/racing-to-the-start-052007/

Election Reform
http://www.opportunity08.org/Files/FD.ashx?guid=e98dbebb-3843-4364-b62d-d71a9bb61dbc

In addition, I've been thinking a lot about what the founders of the US would think/say. I've always been interested in history, etc, and done reading on it. [As my Aunt Nina said to me during my last Christmas visit 3 or 4 years ago, only I would bring a book called "Declarations of Independence: Cross-examining American Ideology" to read on vacation. She was half-admiring, half-amused, I think.]

For a long time I've wanted to read the Federalist Papers. But it wasn't until recently that my interest really got piqued to read them along with the Anti-Federalist papers. Because I've realized that somewhere along the line in the last 10 years, I've moved away from a "Federalist" position to a more "Anti-Federalist" one. Meaning less power to the central government, more to the individual states. It was a bit of a shock to me to realize that. So I have moved those up on my TBR list. Actually, moved it to the top.

Someone told me recently that I've turned into a Libertarian. A Moderate Libertarian, but a Libertarian nontheless. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Or how true it is. But anyway. I digress. In my quest to learn more about the development of the constitution and the laws and beliefs that our country was founded on and supposedly still professes, I stumbled across the a website called This Nation.

There are some great links on their site, especially their library page. You can access Historical Documents, Executive Orders, War Messages, Foreign Policy Statements, Inaugural Addresses, State of the Union Addresses, Public Laws & Resolutions, Political Essays & Speeches, Supreme Court Decisions, Treaties Pacts & Agreements, Constitutions of Other Nations, and several free e-books. Such as the Federalist & Anti-Federalist papers.

http://www.thisnation.com/library/

I know this is probably of little interest to a lot of people out there. But consider this my little attempt to share some of my excitement and passion for history and politics and learning. I'm a sucker for learning. If I could, I'd be a perpetual student.

Oh. My. God. Moment Last Night (Get Y'all's minds out of the gutter!)

Sitrep: 1x Arms, 1x Cardio
(I love Tuesdays. Watching Biggest Loser motivates me to get off my butt and workout while I'm watching the show)

So last night I got this really brilliant idea after REVing for 30 minutes that I really needed to take my measurements again. After all, I'm back at 165. Let's see how that little side-trip back up to 171 affected the numbers.

Caveat: I'm not really sure of the numbers in this chart. It's hard to measure yourself, and I'm not certain I measured in all the right spots, or even the same spots each time. (particularly forearm, any of the upper/lower, etc.) Sad, really.

Anyway. I was a bit bummed yet again on looking at the numbers. Nothing has really changed all that much...

But I've lost 20 pounds (hoo-yah) and dropped from a definite size 16 in everything to a 12/14 (and now my 14 jeans are a bit loose around the waist/hips and the size 12 slacks are comfy again.) And my shirts are looser. Larges I stopped wearing are fitting better.

I think if I went shopping today, I'd end up with a pair of size 12 jeans. I think. Not ready to test that theory. [g]

Anyway. I was sitting there bummed out, especially when looking at the waist/belly numbers. So on a whim I put the measuring tape around my waist again, only this time I put it at my original measurement. Oh. My. God. What a difference!!!!! And was I really that fat? Oh. My. God.

I think I'm going to start worshipping at the altar of BodyRev and Alden Mills. With Swim Buddies and the Gator Patrol in my pantheon of deities. :)

Running on Empty

Sitrep: Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Crashed and burned...

It seems I'm full of questions, yet empty of answers. So today is going to be my "Why..." day. Maybe I should do this monthly? It might be good for me!>

Why is the US government debating whether or not to label the deaths of Armenians in Turkey in 1915-17 genocide when genocide is currently taking place in various places around the world yet we aren't doing much of anything to stop it? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7035597.stm

Why is it okay to debate after the fact, but stand idly by during? (The Holocaust, Rwanda, Darfur, come to mind.)

Why do people get so upset and have such heartburn over Spanish being spoken routinely in this country, or having signs and directions and instructions in multiple languages, that we have to consider a law to make English the national language? I'm fairly well-traveled, and even in the freakin' backwater places of South America I've been to there have been multi-lingual signs. And many people speaking, gasp, English.

Why is it that a handful of states get to select who gets the presidential nomination for each party?

Why can't they be made to appeal to as many of us as possible to get the darn nomination?

Why wouldn't that get a moderate in office?

Why do I have to keep reading the news?

Why is it when a coworker screws up, I'm always the one spending hours out of my already packed day fixing things? (Well, this time it was me, the C.O.O., and another coworker. None of us initiated the problem, either.)

Why do people think because they screwed up on their planning, didn't attend the class they needed the first 3 times it was offered, are going on vacation instead of attending the class you scheduled when and where you did just for them, they can go "over your head" to get into another, private class offering? One that a competitor is footing the bill for?

Why do so many people think they are so much better or more deserving of special treatment than everyone else?

Why is any of the above my problem?

Why is it when someone sees the Rubix Cube on your desk - even though it has a DON'T YOU DARE! sign on it, even though you have ANOTHER ONE they can touch - they just have to play with the perfect one?

Why do I have to have a perfect one on my desk anyway? (And why do I have to have the messed up one where I can't see it?)

And why is it when someone says "I know what I'm doing" you know you're about to be blown out of the water?

Is it just me?

Last week was a good week, even if I didn't meet all my goals. Here's the SitRep:
2x Arms (2wts), 2x Cardio, 1x Abs, Walk (15 min)
~ Noticed increased arm strength while working on the floors upstairs.
~ Weight still at 165!!! From 171 on 9/10

This week's goals:
2x Arms (2 wts), 3x Cardio, 5x Abs
10 mins daily stretching
Scraping/Sanding floor upstairs

I hate the Legs workout and love the Cardio. Bizarre and so not like me! Since I'm struggling with Legs, I'm going to focus on Cardio. And working on the floors upstairs will work legs some; squatting, stairs, etc.

I frequently find myself watching Ex.treme Mak.eover: Home.Edition on Sunday evenings. No matter how I try to stop myself, I usually find myself being critical. What is up with that? Am I just jealous? But I really wonder how many of these people keep the houses when they're done, or end up "ruining" them just like their previous one.

Yes, I realize that's extremely petty and mean spirited of me. It's not something I'm proud of. But seriously. When they show some of these people and the way they lived before the show. If you're knee deep in clothes and trash, giving you a new house isn't going to change the way you live. Now, I understand that sometimes life gets the better of you and just gets you down to the point where it's just nearly impossible to get up in the morning, much less keep the house clean.

It's just one of those things I wonder about. How are those people in their new houses 3 or 6 or 12 months later? Do they get into financial messes once again? Is the house not kept up just like their last one?

Like last night, I was looking at the house the family was living in. Their youngest child was going through her second round in a fight against cancer. The stress and worry of that, emotionally and financially, has got to be crushing. But the house didn't look that bad to me. Unless it was structurally unsound, why did they have to bull-doze the whole thing? Yes, there was mold on the kitchen floor. Guess they've never heard of bleach. If it's such a big health hazard, did they try to clean it up? Make some effort to fix it? I guess I'm just too critical. Maybe they did and just couldn't get rid of it. The same for the holes in the walls. It's not expensive or time-consuing to fix those. For Pete's Sake - I've done it, and I'm not exactly inclined in that direction. Maybe the house was structurally unsound and they just didn't go into it on the show. I just find myself thinking, they could build 3 or 4 decent homes for what they spend on one, filling it with all these top of the line fancy gadgets, etc.

I cringe when I see them destroying toilets and sinks and cabinets and windows, etc, that are in decent enough shape to be re-used in another home. Especially really old homes. Go online and check out This Old House's web forums; there are always people looking for windows, etc, for their old homes they are trying to restore. I hate the apparent waste of it.

We have a store here in town, called the Re-store, where you can take your old cabinets & sinks, etc. I know quite a few people that have found items there they've re-used. My friend found a corner cabinet with the "Lazy Susan" shelves inside...it fit perfectly in one unused corner of her kitchen. She sanded & painted, and put a new top on it. For a fraction of the cost of a new one, she has a wonderful corner storage unit and counter top. But I guess it's easier - quicker - cheaper - to just demolish. It looks better on TV, too, I guess.

And, of course, first thing I said to myself when they entered the house on last night's episode and they are all ga-ga over the 22 foot high ceilings was "That's going to be a b*&^ch to keep warm in the winter." They do that alot on this show. Big fancy houses with huge spacious rooms and high, high ceilings. I wonder what those heating/cooling bills look like.

Anyway. That's my current uncharitable state of mind. Am I the only one that thinks any of this when watching that show? It's become my weekly test of character. When I find myself with negative thoughts, I try to refocus. Sigh. Why do I do this to myself?

I'm Bored, Can You Tell?

Yes, my blog has changed. I'm a bit bored at work and felt like playing. The old template was wearing thin on me.

You can imagine how hard it is for me to pick a paint color for my house if I get bored after looking at something almost daily for about what, 5 months?

I want to repaint the living room. Only reason I'm not going to is because I'd ruin the nice new floors. :-/

One of those days...

2x Arms (2wts), 2x Cardio, 1x Abs, Walk (15 min)
~ My arms hurt. Can't remember the last time I felt my biceps so much.
~ Down to 165 from 171 on my bathroom scale this morning. Had to look 3x to be sure I was reading it right. Hoo-Yah!

Since my horoscope today says "There is a great deal of momentum building in your mind at this time, and once the dam is opened, you may soon have a gigantic flood on your hands..." I thought I'd spare everyone that painful experience. So here are someone else's thoughts:

Jeff Foxworthy’s comments on Montana

If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord, you might live in Montana.

If you're proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Montana.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Montana.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you might live in Montana.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Montana

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Montana

If you know how to correctly pronounce Butte, you might live in Montana.

If you measure distance in hours, you might live in Montana.

If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup, you might live in Montana.

If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, you might live in Montana.

If you often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day and back again, you might live in Montana.

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, you might live in Montana.

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, you might live in Montana.

If you've installed security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, you might live in Montana.

If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-mart at any given time, you might live in Montana.

If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve day than on Opening Deer Rifle Season, you might live in Montana.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you might live in Montana.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you might live in Montana.

If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, you might live in Montana.

If you find 0 degrees a little chilly, you might live in Montana.

If you actually understand these observations, and you forward them to all your Montana friends, you must live in Montana!

Mission Accomplished

2x Arms (2wts), 2x Cardio, 1x Abs, Walk (15 min)

Talked a coworker into going with me. We had a nice brisk walk up to the school and up and down the street looking for the bus. And then a nice, brisk walk back. I'm adding that to my exercise list. When they say they leave at 2:55, they leave at 2:55. Most of the kids on my little's bus arrived at 2:53-54. I'm not kidding. About 8 of them, en masse, came hurrying up to the bus. My little sister in the middle of 'em. And they pulled out at 2:55p.m. We were across the street. Behind a car. She never saw me. Hah. And so far no cops have come looking for us. ;D

Family Drama and a Recon Mission

Goals: 2x Arms (2 wts), 2x Cardio, 2x Legs, 6x Abs
Sitrep: 2x Arms (2wts-double whimper) 2x Cardio 1xAbs

Stayed home from work this morning (but just "had" to do the responsible thing and come in after lunch. sigh). Was just exhausted from that headache. Didn't do much yesterday after work, either. Ate and did the zombie thing on the couch. Talked to my little sister on the phone around 9pm. She finally got all caught up on her homework (at exactly 8:05pm, she informed me) and took a long shower and had all her stuff (including an outfit) ready for the morning. That's my girl! [g] It was nice to hear her sounding more relaxed - and proud of herself for getting it done. I made sure to tell her how proud I am of her, and how glad, too, that she's caught up and can relax some.

We're having a different issue, now. So far this week she has missed the bus three times. We thought that first day was on purpose, so she could walk to my work. See, ever since she realized her school is only 3 blocks from my office, she's wanted to walk here one day after school. She kept asking, and after the 3rd day in a row of her asking followed by me asking what was going on, I finally got her to admit something was up. She doesn't like the bus driver. The second or third day of school, he yelled or lectured (not sure which) at her when she got to the bus, saying she was late. She insists she wasn't late. I'm afraid she probably argued with him. She's not quiet, my little sister.

Anyway. Her step-mom picks up the sister at the high school across the street from my work, about 30 minutes after the middle school gets out. So after some phone calls we get her picked up. At least she called me before walking to my work, and I told her to come here (thinking it would be more convenient for her stepmom as it's closer.) Her stepmom wasn't thrilled. But then, we all thought she'd done it on purpose, even though we'd told her that she had to take the bus home that day. But on Tuesday she called me again, saying she'd missed the bus. But she called me at 3pm on the dot both days. The bus is scheduled to leave at 3:05pm. So her mom called the school and what do you know, they changed the departure time to 2:55pm.

But yesterday after school, she missed it again. This time she swore she and another student got to the bus at 2:55pm. He honked at them and drove away. Oooookay. Now, my little is not one to lie or make up stories. Yes, she's capable of it, but she doesn't tend to do this. Plus, she's not very good at it when she has tried, and knows that. However, I'm not sure exactly what's going on, you know?

And then this morning. They live out in the valley, and are attending schools not in their "district." So she and her older sister take 2 buses. One that picks them up near their house, and the second one that "transfers" them to the schools they are attending. The second bus is the same driver as Shanni's after-school bus. This morning, when they got to the school where they transfer, he pulled away right as they got there. So they chased him a block down the street until he pulled over and let them on. Both kids are telling the same story, along with a third child that was on the same bus. I'm not sure exactly who is at fault to tell you the truth.

But my little's mom is mad. You might even say she's on the warpath. I, for one, am not standing in her way and am accepting any and all assignments as they come. ;) Which is why in about forty minutes, I'm taking my afternoon break and am walking up to the middle school to do some reconnaisance. ;) I'm to find out exactly what time that bus actually leaves. Without my little seeing me. Riiiiiight.

Aimless

Goals: 2x Arms (2 wts), 2x Legs, 2x Cardio, 6x Abs
Sitrep: 1x Arms (2 wts - whimper), 1x Cardio, 1x Abs

Not feeling particularly witty or amusing today. More's the pity. Aimless pretty well covers it. I am Tired. Not sure why. I think it's what I'm eating this week. Had pizza one night...and peanut butter a few times. Sigh.

Have a headache this afternoon. Ate a mini-package of peanut M&M's and within 15 minutes had that migraine aura stuff going on. I'd been feeling down, and thought I might be getting a headache (couldn't get my hands warm & had purple fingernails). Guess the peanuts were the last straw! Took some sudafed (sinuses are packed again) and put my head down for a nap during lunch. Aura went away, and no migraine so far. Just a headache. But that's twice in about a week when I don't usually get migraine auras at all. Maybe once a year, if that? I have a feeling the infection is in my sinuses now. Finally bought the Neil Med Sinus Rinse kit, but I can't use it - yet. Says, clear as a bell, not to use if you have an ear infection. Peachy. {sigh} Have to go back to the doc this week any way and have my ears checked.

I dreamt a lot last night. I wish I could remember it. I sort-of woke up mid-dream, and thought to myself "Must remember this...would make a great blog entry." Naturally, I don't remember a bit of it. Just that it was funny and bizarre.

Ah, well.

So I've been struggling with my little sister and homework this year. Yes, I know, school's only been in maybe a month. Maybe I'm overreacting and she just needs to settle in. I've helped her organize, and we studied together last Saturday. Maybe we'll make that a regular part of our time together. Study for an hour or two, and then do something fun. :) She sounded exhausted this afternoon. Poor kid. Growing up really bites. Got some good advice from some ladies on the BB. I'll try not to panic/overreact and see how she adjusts.

Learned something this week. When trying to turn the gas back on to the heater, don't use a hammer to "finesse" the handle past the point it gets stuck. 'Cause they don't like finesse and break. Stupid old metal pipe. What's worse, the gas is still off and I can't light that heater. It's the one I rely on to heat the back porch/laundry room and the kitchen. So I'm reduced to using the baseboard heater at night in the kitchen. Pfffbbbt. Now I've gotta find someone to help me fix that this weekend.

Note to self: NO HAMMERS unless nails are involved. Oh, and don't forget protective head gear.

When Good Authors Go Bad - or Seem To

Goals: 2x Legs, 2x Cardio, 2x Arms (2 wts), 6x Abs
Sitrep: 1x Arms (2 wts)

Adding that 2nd weight to arms was tougher than I thought...especially considering I was doing arms w/2 weights easy earlier this year. Soooo...I've decided that amping up abs at the same time is asking for trouble...So the abs are staying at 6x Abs beginner workout. My biceps are starting to feel a little sore/shaky this moring. [g]

Now for the book report: Maybe I'm just a picky reader...okay, let's rephrase. I am a picky reader. Last Friday I was doing my monthly grocery shopping and decided to pick up a book. One of my favorite authors is Brenda Joyce, and the latest book in the De Warenne dynasty has been out for awhile. I've been saving it for a book-slump. And frankly, have not been in the mood to read fiction since Suz' book came out in August. She (and Joyce) are those types of author's I have to switch to non-fiction after reading their books. They spoil me for other authors. I saw that the second book in Brenda Joyce's "Masters of Time" series was out. Now, B.J. is one of those authors that has a bunch of stuff going on. She writes the Francesca Cahill novels (the Deadly series) that I really, really, really like. It's a very talented writer that can change the Hero from book one to a different guy, and make me like him more! I resisted, of course, but now I'm glad I gave in.

She does a really good job of developing characters and the relationship and emotions between the Hero & Heroine. And she does a fabulous job in my opinion of building the romantic/sexual tension as well. It's hard not to get invested in the characters. You get drawn in.

So, although I'm not a big fan of books with time travel and special warriors of the gods/goddesses, I decided to give this one a try. [I've tried the J.R. Ward series - didn't even finish one.] After all, it's a Brenda Joyce book, and they're medieval Scottish warriors. And with a 2nd B.J. book to read after it, it wouldn't be that bad. Well. Consider this a "Good Authors Gone Bad" warning. Okay, I'm being too harsh. Once I got into the book, it was good, the usual characterization did finally appear. Once she got away from several things:

1. Oversexed hero (she uses that term quite a few times! What the heck does that mean? To me, I'm thinking "all used up". But I guess that's not the definition of the word.)
2. Larger than life in all respects (trying to be PG here) hero
3. Supposedly fabulous, best sex ever and the hero knows it and is a smug s.o.b.
4. Heroine that falls in love with hero because of said better-than-chocolate & books & everything-else-in-the-known universe sex and willingly gives all up (including her comfy rich 21st century life) to travel through time to 1430 Scotland for said hero after knowing him all of two seconds!

Maybe it's me. But when authors describe these types of heroes, it's a turn-off. I mean, absolute perfection. Huge, buff bodies, always described as "golden gods" and so on. And then the sex is supposed to be so mind-blowing, and the attraction so overwhelming they fall into bed within seconds...All I could see is one of those muscle-men competitions, with the not-natural steroid-induced muscles. The kind that usually make me go "gross". And in the rush to follow this new trend of the almighty warrior, B.J. didn't get the usual characterization in first. The development of the sexual attraction and emotional attraction wasn't developed. It was this paltry description of "golden, god-like, warrior, oversexed" and poof. They're in bed. Even though demons are coming out of the fabric of time to kill her, he leaps through time with her (not something she's ever done or known was possible before) and dumps her somewhere unconscious and alone, and then shows up 24 hours later. None of this matters when she sees him again. Huh. Things like this bother me. The sex, okay, I can understand being overcome and falling into bed. But I didn't get the basis for the rest of it? No rational person would do this. But then, maybe that's just me. [g]

I ended up skipping ahead in the book, and read the last 1/3 of it first. Sad, but true, and not something I've ever done with one of her books before. By that point, she'd gotten away from that aspect of the story, and had actually started into her usual flow of things. The characters, the emotions, the plot-line was more solid. I was actually a little teary near the end. So I went back on Saturday and read the front part of the book. Once I got past the stereo-typical warrior/god stuff, it was good.

I doubt I'll be reading the rest of the series. But it was okay. And it did have an interesting tie-up to the time travel bit. (I always have a problem with people going back in time and staying. I can see going forward as your DNA line, parents, etc, have lived. But I have a hard time with people being able to exist before their parents. How is that physically possible? But I digress.)

To make this post even longer, on Sunday morning I picked up the other book by Joyce, The Perfect Bride and ended up reading it all day. Seriously. My intention (it was only 8am) was to read about an hour and then exercise (I'd just eaten breakfast) and then start on my chores/plans for the day. I stopped somewhere in the afternoon when my sister called. Only because I hadn't talked to her in at least a month and they're going on vacation this week so I won't have a chance for a bit to talk to her. As soon as we got off the phone I picked the book up again. Finished it around 5pm. It was good. Probably one of my favorite books, and not just by her. I loved the hero/heroine. I loved the issue facing them, and...it was just a really good book. I think I like it better than the last few Suz Brockmann books, to tell you the truth. Only issue was the resolution of the issue. It was tied up just a teensy bit fast, but not in a bad way. I'd've like a little more in-depth on it. The last few scenes probably weren't needed...but they were nice.

But I'd better stop now. This has been a very long post!

The Black Hole of Time

To my Brother & Sister-in-Law

May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door.

Goals: 2x Arms, 2x Legs, 2x Cardio, Daily Abs
Sitrep: 2x Arms, 2x Legs, 1x Cardio, 5x Abs

Goals (10/1-7): 2x Arms (2 weights), 2x Legs, 2x Cardio, 6x Abs (Intermediate)

It's hard to believe that my brother and sister-in-law have been married for eleven years today. Sometimes I look around myself and feel a little bit like Rip Van Winkle. Or like I've been swallowed by some black hole of time. I blink, and seasons pass.

Or I pick up a book and that's the end of that!

Rainy Saturdays

Goals: 2x Arms, 2x Legs, 2x Cardio, Daily Abs
Sitrep: 2x Arms, 2x Legs, 1x Cardio, 5x Abs

It's one of those lovely lazy rainy Saturday mornings. There's a steady rain falling; it's about 45*F out. Just perfect for curling up on the couch with a blanket and a good book. It was wonderfully quiet this morning. (Once the dog was fed, that is. Boy she's obnoxious.) I feel a bit rejuvenated now. And this afternoon I'm off to my little sister's to see their new pony. {sigh} They need another critter like I need a hole in the head, but Michelle is a rescuer. She just can't say "no". Even when she really, really wants to.

Her girls know this, which makes it easy for them to manipulate her. Especially Shanni, as the baby. I can't blame Michelle. I'm about as bad. Which is why I'd make a terrible mom.

Speaking of Moms. As I was drifting off to sleep last night I was thinking of how nice it would be to have a hug from Mom & Dad. Not that I was feeling bad, or sick, or upset or anything was wrong. Just that sometimes it's nice, even at 34, to have those arms around you. Sometimes it's nice to have that feeling that there's someplace safe where someone will keep the bad stuff away.

And as I was thinking this, it struck me that this is how my niece thinks of my sister and BIL. And how my brother's kids think of him and their mom. Although they are getting old enough, at least the girls are, to start seeing beyond that safety a little bit. Soon they'll start realizing, at least a little bit, that that feeling is more of an illusion than reality.

How strange to suddenly realize that my brother and sister are the ones that are now the Mom and the Dad. I knew that, but didn't think what it really meant I guess. How frightening it must be for them and my sil & bil.

It was a weird feeling as I lay there thinking on this. Especially from the youngest niece's point of view. I knew what she was thinking/feeling as a child and what I was thinking/feeling as an adult. And how the two thoughts/feelings were the same yet different. It almost felt like we meshed. Like I was in her head while at the same time in my own.

Titleless...in other words, TGIF!

Goal: 2x Arms, 2x Legs, 2x Cardio, Daily Abs
Sitrep: 2x Arms, 1x Legs, 1x Cardio, 4x Abs

The elephant on roller skates made it to the bottom of the hill yesterday. With only one near-miss. [g] I did Arms, but was getting that glare in front of my eyes that usually signals "fever" or "migraine ahead". I took 2 ibuprofen and lay down for about 30 minutes. The glare kinda went away so I did Abs. I got it done, and only ended up with a minor headache. [g]

But wait! Still have more workouts to do to meet the week's goals, and I definitely can't use the weekend as an excuse to not workout. You know, that old "I'll do that tonight" or "I'll do extra tomorrow". Because that just turns into "Gee, I have 2 hours to do today. Maybe I should just start over from scratch tomorrow since I'm so far behind." I felt really proud of myself last night for pushing through and getting my goal for the day done. I'm going to focus on that and do my 30 minutes after work today. Legs & Abs. Legs are my least favorite. BUT THEY ARE HISTORY.

Other than that, I'm not feeling particularly chatty or upbeat today. The "glare" is back in front of my eyes. Makes it hard to focus on anything. Going to buy the sinus rinse recommended by cranky otter today. ;) [I know, I know. Took me long enough. I've just been avoiding stores. Too many people & I can't handle that when I'm sick.]

I'm also feeling blue today about that friend that just kinda dropped me this summer. It's dawned on me that our friendship for all intents and purposes is over. Whenever I try to talk to her now I get the look. You know the one. The "studying a bug through a microscope" look. Or worse, she gets the same look on her face she used to get when our former (thank the gods) crazy-as-a-loon receptionist used to talk to her. I just realized the other night: Our friendship started with her grandmother's death, and ended with my grandmother's death. Oh, the irony!

Halfway There - Hoo Yah!

Goals: 2x each Arms, Legs, Cardio + Daily Abs
Sitrep: 1x Arms, 1x Legs, 1x Cardio, 3x Abs

Well, I did it! I've completed 30 minutes of REVing for 3 days straight now. Hoo yah! Feels good. I did the cardio as soon as I got home last night, and then had dinner because I was starving. Exercising makes me hungrier. I'd always heard it's supposed to do the opposite, but that's never worked for me. Anyway. Did the Abs later in the evening, around 8pm. I think it was Alden's - and everyone else's - wonderful replies to my post yesterday that kept me going. I just focused on how good I feel after doing Abs, and how much I actually like abs. And I kept picturing myself with a flat stomach. Now there's some motivation.

I also got outside yesterday with my camera. I've completely spaced on the manual settings, it's been so long. I didn't get very many good shots in the end. Sigh. Now I remember why I stopped. My unreasonable perfectionism ruined it for me.

The important thing is, I had a great time just tooling around in my yard, trying to capture the trees and the light and the clouds, etc., on film. Trying to capture what I was "feeling" with the camera. I had fun. So I'm just going to keep plugging away at it. Because that's what matters. That I enjoyed myself, not how many "good" photos I got.

And that's something I need to apply to working out. Doing these exercises is what gives me the physical and mental energy to get out there and do things I enjoy. Today, Thursday, is generally the day that I let the friction stop me; that I let inertia grab hold once more. Well, not today.

So here's a Shout-Out to everyone that reads this: I'm challenging you to exercise today. Any exercise. Walking, running, hiking, weights, going to the gym, BodyRev - whatever you like. Just get out there and exercise today. And I will do Arms & Abs tonight.

I will come back here tomorrow and post my success. Because this unbalanced force is gonna annihilate that inertia!

I am an elephant on roller skates heading down hill. ;)

[And no, that's not a reference to my weight or size. It's just how powerful I feel!]

Newton's First Law of Motion

Goals: 2x Legs, 2x Arms, 2x Cardio, Daily Abs
Sitrep: 1x Legs, 1x Arms, 2x Abs

Holy smokes was last night full of dreams. And they weren't that fun. I think the networks need to add another rating to their system. One for "Chock-full of spiders and big ugly true-to-life gigantic pictures of the little b#$%!#ds." Geez. It was one darn line that started the dreams, though. "No matter where you are, you're never more than 6 feet from a spider." Lovely thought. Does that black can of Raid come in a pocket size?

But I really wanted to focus today on something that came up in this week's Gator Patrol. I've been thinking about it for a few days now and can't figure it out. The post was "Why do I (we - because I'm sure I'm not alone in this) do this to myself? It's so much harder to keep starting over than it would be to keep going."

This is exactly what I do. But why? Is it because I'm lazy at heart? (I am.) Because I don't like to exercise? (True as well.) But I do this elsewhere in my life. I'm a great starter, not a good finisher. You only have to take a look at all the unfinished projects around my house to figure that out. But why is that. Is it learned or are was I born that way? Why are people so darn different?

I look at my family. My sister is the ultimate when it comes to being healthy and exercising. For awhile there I was worried about her. But my BIL & niece have mellowed her a bit. ;) She is always on the go, busy. Even before the baby. And my brother. He might not be into the gym and all that, but the man is always busy. And in shape. He's just on the go-go-go, and whatever he's doing is usually physically oriented. I haven't lived with either of them since high school/college. But seems to me from visits and conversations that they don't have all these unfinished projects lying around. I could be wrong on that, though. And then there's Mom. Now that woman should be called Wonder Woman. She never stops, unless it's to sleep. :) Constantly moving, working, doing...Dad isn't too far behind her. Although I think he & I are more alike. He'd be happy just sitting tinkering on the computer or watching TV. Like me.

And then there's me. I start lots of stuff, have lots of grand ideas, but lose momentum halfway through. It drives me crazy; yet I've given up on it. Grudgingly accepted it as something to live with. So I have my scrapbook from my Japan Vacation (4 years ago!!!) with only a few pages done. Spent tons of money on an album and stickers and papers...That's just one example.

Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. But really. It's just so darn hard to make something stick. Yet the habit of sitting there on the sofa watching one show after another for two or three or more hours while trying to decide what to do was an easy enough habit to learn! Whenever I start contemplating this, I usually think of Newton's First Law of Motion (thanks, Dad!):

"An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."

I guess I'm that unbalanced force. Or my mind is. ;) Because why else would I stop when I'm moving? Why else do I make it halfway through the week meeting my goals and then...nothing?

The lesson continues with: Objects tend to "keep on doing what they're doing." In fact, it is the natural tendency of objects to resist changes in their state of motion. This tendency to resist changes in their state of motion is described as inertia."

So I've been very focused since starting REVing on over-coming my inertia. The Gator Patrol and my swim buddies have been fantastic helping with that. So I don't think it's inertia that is keeping me form doing this daily. If it was inertia, I wouldn't keep starting up again.

Galileo reasoned that moving objects eventually stop because of a force called friction.

But what is the "friction" I keep encountering. I used to say I didn't exercise because I wouldn't be able to do the stuff I really like to. Not enough time, yada, yada, yada. That doesn't hold water. Because 30 minutes a day isn't that much; I've found time to do other stuff the last 2 days while still getting 30 minutes a day of REVing done. Geez, I REVed 30 minutes last night, and still managed to eat dinner, watch Biggest Loser & SVU (plus a couple other 30 minute shows), hem 2 pairs of pants, read a little, and get to bed by 10pm.

So where's the friction? Is it mental, internal? Because I can't think of anything external that is stopping me. Why do I keep doing this? Because the BB poster was right. It's harder to keep starting over than it is to just keep going. Why can't I just let the momentum carry me along?

Colors & Light

Goal: 2x each Legs, Cardio & Arms + Daily Abs
Sitrep: 1x Legs, 1x Abs

Pretty tired today. Was raring to go this morning, but now I'm at work. LOL. It's this office. Everything is gray or white or beige. We need more colors in here. It's way too drab and drains my energy.

But outside, oh, outside this morning is absolutely wonderful. Sunshiny with just a few clouds. And those mostly around the horizon. Big, heavy, blue gray clouds. But it's that sunshine that gets to me. It's the kind of light that tells you it's crispy and cold and definitely autumn. The light is brilliant; the foothills & mountains look like they've been etched into the skyline. Every little detail illuminated. And that sky just stretches forever and is deeper than the ocean. And the trees and leaves with all the fall colors...the depth of textures and colors is overwhelming. It's days like this that make my heart seize, my breath catch in my throat, and I can just feel the power in the air!

First Day of Fall = First Snow

Week's End Sitrep: 2x Arms, 1x Abs
Goal (M-Su): 2x each Legs, Cardio & Arms + Daily Abs

Yesterday was the first day of fall. It rained most of the day. Which was rather nice, actually. Hopefully that will take the edge off of the fires around the state that are still burning. But it was cold. Brrr. 44*F with a nasty wind, and we were out harvesting the garden. {sigh} Knew we shouldn't have put it off. But we got it all harvested, so all's well that end's well. And we have a nice pile of goodies. A huge bucket of carrots. OMG, I've never seen so many carrots! :) It's definitely stew time. LOL.

Then we (Michelle & I) went shopping with her girls, as today is KT's birthday and she got birthday money from her grandmother. Hit Target and then Hastings...Tonight is the birthday dinner, with cake. Yum.

But this morning (as I expected!) the rain clouds have mostly cleared to reveal the mountains & foot hills around town with the first snow on them. They look lovely. But I'm not ready for winter. I want a fall, darn it!

On Saturday I spent the day running. Friends of ours celebrated their 60th Wedding Anniversary by "rewedding" as my little sister named it. :) It was a lovely ceremony. The groom was teary-eyed from the second he saw the bride. It was great. We helped set up - and take down - for the reception. That's exhausting! At least we didn't have to wash the dishes by hand. 150 people. OMG. The church had one of those commercial dishwashers that washes a load in 3 minutes. Only you have to hand dry...

Ruth & Everett are the kind of couple that make Happily-Ever-After seem like non-fiction. :)

First Day of Fall = First Snow

Week's End Sitrep: 2x Arms, 1x Abs Goal (M-Su): 2x each Legs, Cardio & Arms + Daily Abs

Yesterday was the first day of fall. It rained most of the day. Which was rather nice, actually. Hopefully that will take the edge off of the fires around the state that are still burning. But it was cold. Brrr. 44*F with a nasty wind, and we were out harvesting the garden. {sigh} Knew we shouldn't have put it off. But we got it all harvested, so all's well that end's well. And we have a nice pile of goodies. A huge bucket of carrots. OMG, I've never seen so many carrots! :) It's definitely stew time. LOL. Then we (Michelle & I) went shopping with her girls, as today is KT's birthday and she got birthday money from her grandmother. Hit Target and then Hastings...Tonight is the birthday dinner, with cake. Yum. But this morning (as I expected!) the rain clouds have mostly cleared to reveal the mountains & foot hills around town with the first snow on them. They look lovely. But I'm not ready for winter. I want a fall, darn it! On Saturday I spent the day running. Friends of ours celebrated their 60th Wedding Anniversary by "rewedding" as my little sister named it. :) It was a lovely ceremony. The groom was teary-eyed from the second he saw the bride. It was great. We helped set up - and take down - for the reception. That's exhausting! At least we didn't have to wash the dishes by hand. 150 people. OMG. The church had one of those commercial dishwashers that washes a load in 3 minutes. Only you have to hand dry... Ruth & Everett are the kind of couple that make Happily-Ever-After seem like non-fiction. :)

ExCUse me, Mr. Pre.si.dent?

Said by Mr. Bu.s.h today, in response to an advertisement criticizing Gen. Pe.tra.eu.s:

"Most Democrats are afraid of irritating a left-wing group like MoveOn.org - are more afraid of irritating them than they are of irritating the United States military,"

I cannot think of any conditions under which US citizens should ever be afraid of irritating our military. I am stunned beyond belief. Is he saying US citizens should be afraid of irritating the United States military????????? Because if so, that smacks dangerously of military coup/dictator-like talk to me.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7006170.stm

Maybe I lived in South America too long.

Dreaming in Tongues

Rev. Goal (W-Su): 5x Rev
Sitrep: Arms 2x, Abs 1x

Last night I challenged myself to 30 minutes of REVing. [Because of one very inspiring lady!] :) Felt really good, too, when I got done. As in, hah, see? I knew I could do it. I could hear the virtual applause from the BB & Gator Patrol. And Alden just might be back next week for a SitRep, so I definitely want to be able to report good things.

The last few nights, I've been dreaming in Spanish. Already knew I have a propensity to do this; my dorm roommate in college told me once I was talking in my sleep in Spanish. And this was before I spent 2 years in South America with no one in my town speaking anything other than Spanish & Guarani.

Woke up Wednesday & Thursday mornings with the certain knowledge that I was dreaming in Spanish. Not just that I was speaking/thinking in Spanish in my dream; the whole dream was in Spanish. And then Mom called last night. Now, that's not new. LOL. We talk a minimum of once a week. More lately as Mom has been checking in on one of her kids that's sick. :) It's not easy being a Mom or Dad from thousands of miles away, I think. [Love you Mom, Dad.]

The "new" (I should say different) part is that she was speaking Spanish to me. Now, it's her native tongue, and I totally understand her desire to speak it. Especially as next week they're off to visit with her family in Spain. But she doesn't call me speaking in Spanish very often. Mom said my dreams must have been preparing me for her phone call last night. [g] You know, I don't think she's too far off on that one!

It was fun, if a strain. Poor Mom. She must wince listening to her daughter butcher her native tongue. A lot of fumbling, comingling of Spanish/English, and a lot of "How do you say..." Sigh. I've lost a lot of the fluency I had while in the Peace Corps. After all, it has been 10 years since I came back. [Still feels like just yesterday that I left.]

I think I'll borrow my little sister's "Intro to Spanish" cd's that she picked up at Costco this summer. (She wanted to be able to talk with my mom some in Spanish. Isn't that sweet?). I need a refresher course!

Gator Patrol Today - with Alden!

Original Goal: Do anything this week.

Revised Goal: Rev 5x by Sun. night. Starting Wed.

Sitrep: 1x Arms

Yikes! Alden's supposed to post on the bulletin board today. I'm excited but also a little chagrined. Been missing his motivational posts. I haven't been doing too good lately. Granted, the last week or so has been due to my ears. But the 2 weeks before that, I was only meeting half my goals. And they were easy goals at that. Sigh. But at least I'm still trying!

I actually revved last night for 15 minutes. No dizziness, no ear pain, no heartbeat pounding through my ears/head. That has got to be the worst. That darn feeling/hearing of the heartbeat in your ears. That, and the swoosh of the blood rushing through your veins. {shudder}.

On to happier things. :) Just got these pictures of my youngest niece meeting the Princesses at Di.sne.y. Her first trip there:



These were the only ones it would let me "save" to my computer. Through the backdoor, of course. Isn't she so adorable? I'm not biased in the least, btw. ;) She's as cute in person/on the phone. Like the day she called to tell me she was eating cheetos. "Mommy doesn't like cheetos. Tia Natalia likes cheetos."

And guess what???? My oldest niece tried out for and got into her school choir! Yay! :) I'm so thrilled for her. :)

She didn't get it last year, but hung in there and tried again. I'm so proud of her for that.

Edited to add: And she got straight A's. Whoo-hoo. That's my niece!

She's moved past the adorable stage into the beautiful & smart one. :) I can't believe how grown up she is! Time is passing too fast.

Maybe I should change my post title to "Two of my wonderful nieces!"

How Many Food Choices??

So I was watching the Biggest Loser last night. (I love this show. Totally fascinated by it, lol). This year they're doing little multiple choice quizzes as they go to commercial break. Naturally, I got them all wrong. Holy moly I don't know much. But the one that got to me was this one:

How many food choices does the average person face in one day?

a) 10
b) 50
c) 200
d) 1000

Correct Answer: 200

Mind-boggling. Of course, as I went to sleep, all I could think about was that number. I mean, really. Isn't that high? I wonder what they count. Does it include every restaurant or fast food place or coffee shop or grocery store a person sees in the day? Or just the actual food items they choose between? It's gotta be the former, to hit that high of a number. Either that or I have a much more limited diet than I originally thought. Or I'm just a creature of habit. Which I am, but worse than I thought?

Or is it every thought about food? 'Cause then I can see it. I think about food a lot. Don't eat every time I think about food, but I think about it. Start planning my mid-morning break around 8:30 am, lunch "planning" (I bring from home, it's a done deal!) starts around 10 am, when I have my break, and so on. Then there are all those "oh, a chocolate bar would be great right now" and "I could always take a quick break and walk the 4 blocks to the health food store" moments. (Like a chocolate bar from the health food store is better for you. Hah. And then the phone rings or I check email or I'm just too lazy.

So this morning I decided to count the number of food choices on my way to work. Of course, I'm such a creature of habit that my choices this morning were: toast w/butter and...toast w/butter. LOL. Really. It's hard enough to get myself dressed in the morning without having to decide what to do for breakfast. So the count started with the corner store. Not that I've ever gone in there, or been tempted. But I look at it every day, and recognize it as a source of not-good-for-me food. (I love the name of this store, btw, it's called "The Man Store".) And the count promptly ended. Not because there aren't any more between home and work. There are tons! I just forgot I was counting because I got caught up in "To Kill a Mockingbird" on audio (just getting to the end).

I did briefly contemplate stopping at Starbucks for a Cafe Mocha non-fat milk with whip. But ever since tracking my meals on SparkPeople, I just don't enjoy those Mochas as much anymore. They blow my calorie count out the window before the day has even really started. Just not getting the same thrill out of them, darn Alden and the Gator Patrol. ;)

So. An estimate. There are 11 food-related places on the way to work that I can remember. 2 grocery stores, 2 restaurants, 3 gas stations, 2 fast food joints, 1 coffee shop and 1 gas-station type store with no gas station. Not too bad. Maybe I'm just below the average on this one. It's hard to imagine being faced with 200 food choices a day. So let's everyone weigh in on this one. How many food choices are you faced with during the day?

The wonders of modern medicine...not

So, I'm on my second round of antibiotics, since after 6 days on the first one I was not feeling any better. I think the doctor might have made me wait the full 14 days, but really. Six days, I should be feeling better. I should not be needing 4 ibuprofen at a time, every 4 hours. On top of the Sudafed every 4 hours. And I should not be able to be next door to Barnes & Noble and not go in. What's worse, I wasn't even tempted to! And Waldenbooks was just up the road and I had a 25% off coupon! The only thing that makes these business trips bearable, is the chance to go to a real bookstore!

Anyway. The doc says my left ear is getting better. Apparently my right ear got slightly worse. And it's heading into my sinuses. And she mentioned staying on the first antibiotic? I don't know why they don't listen to me and just give me a Z-pak straight out of the gate. When I'm this sick, it's all that works...Hopefully the new drug will kick in. So far so good. I'm at work and functioning. Can't hear anything much, but I'm here. Because I feel totally wrapped in cotton, the day is dragging unbelievably. (And yes, CO, I'm getting that sinus rinse...WalMart didn't have any yesterday when I went to the pharmacy.)

I did get almost an entire book read while out of town last week. My work computer was acting - irrationally, shall we say? - and while attempting all sorts of troubleshooting, I got to read. No internet time, which is bad, but good as apparently I missed a big brouhaha on the BB. I'd've waded right in, no doubt, and not feeling good would probably have been a real b###h.

If you're at all interested in politics and religion...even if you're not, for that matter, read "The Mighty and the Almighty" by Madeleine Albright. Very well written, even if I didn't always agree with her, and a very interesting viewpoint. I inhaled this book, which is hard for even me to say of a non-fiction political/religious book.

Photo Contest:

Our local newspaper is having a photo contest and my little sister's mom has entered. Here are links to the spots where her pictures are. Look for pictures by Michelle Boone. If you're so inclined, please vote! She could use the encouragement (as well as the cash prize.) She's trying to start her own photography business. She takes the most amazing people shots. I think she has better pictures than the ones entered, but these are the ones she chose.

http://www.helenair.com/photo_contest/gallery.php?category=People (on page 20 - links at bottom)

http://www.helenair.com/photo_contest/gallery.php?category=Scenery (on page 30 - links at bottom)

http://www.helenair.com/photo_contest/gallery.php?category=Animals (on page 23 - links at bottom)

http://www.helenair.com/photo_contest/gallery.php?category=Objects (on page 15 - links at bottom)

Levels of Pain

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to rate pain? I remember when I told my sister I'd gotten a tatoo, she asked how bad it hurt. Did it hurt worse than labor? Having just had a child, that was her reference point for pain. Having not had a child myself, I couldn't say. I imagine labor's worse. But I'm not up for finding out. Even when given a scale of 1 to 10 it isn't that easy. My 10 is probably not the 10 of a Navy SEAL. So unless you know my frame of reference, what's the point?

Last night I suffered some of the worst ear pain I've ever had in my life. Right up there with migraines, if not worse....Standing up it felt like someone had wrapped a fist around the middle of my inner ear and was pulling steadily down on it....Sucked big time. Worse than my tatoo, certainly. Of course, when the doctor asked me to rate, on that scale of 1 to 10, how badly my ear hurt, I gave her my best "You-didn't-listen-to-a-word-I-just-said" look, and replied "200."

I had a bit of a sore throat on Sunday, nothing major, just some sinus drainage. I know, TMI, but it's my blog. Sunday night had the weirdest dream about my right ear hurting so bad, and I couldn't get in to see the doctor, and then couldn't get the prescription filled, and then I was running from the bad guys and all sorts of weird stuff. Woke up with my right ear hurting. Go figure. A couple ibuprofen, some sudafed, and I was good to go. Until about 3:30pm. Then the pressure & pain started in my left ear. By 4:30 pm I was downing aspirin again and begging around the office for anything with pseudoephedrine in it. No luck.

Got home and took the last Sudafed. Then lay on the couch with the heating pad, debating about whether or not an ear infection of the magnitude the one I apparently had, merited a trip to the ER, and trying to talk myself through the pain. (I kept thinking, the body obeys the brain, the body obeys the brain!) I had to do something. WalMart for Sudafed or the ER? WalMart won. Hey, it was closer, and cheaper.

Of course, it irks that I have to stand in that darn pharmacy line just to buy sudafed. Some idiot tried to cut in line in front of me and I didn't even have to say a word. They changed their mind after one look at my face. [g] Got my sudafed and was swallowing one as I walked out the door.

By this point, I was in pretty bad shape pain wise, for me. Heat didn't help, so I ended up with a bag of frozen green beans on my ear/head. Works almost as well as the peas. Which apparently I ate at some point. Not last night. Note to self: buy more frozen peas. Downed 3 more ibuprofen at that point, and passed out on the couch. Last thing I remember thinking was "Body obeys the brain, body obeys the brain..."

Woke up several hours later with no pain! Plenty of pressure, my ear was still clogged. But no pain. Yay! (Or so you'd think.) Woke up around 3 am and my ear felt kinda weird. No pain, just...moist. So I got up and got a trusty q-tip and cleaned my ear oh-so-gently. Q-tip turned pink. Lovely. I couldn't sleep after that. Until I turned on the history channel. Something fascinating about the Anglos and the Saxons and how they became the Anglo-Saxons after fighting for so many centuries, etc.

So I got into the doc's first thing this morning, and you know what? I don't like it when the doc looks in my good ear and says "Wow. Interesting." And then looks into the ear that's hurting and says "That's the worst ear infection I've ever seen in an adult." Gee, thanks, doc!

I've ruptured my ear drum. Just a little bit, it's not bleeding any more and she couldn't even see it. So that's why there wasn't any more pain. Who knew? I thought the full dose of sudafed plus the ibuprofen and subsequent freezing of half my head did the trick.

Now I'm all dosed up with antibiotics and sudafed and aspirin/ibuprofen (I can alternate those every 2 hours for the pain if I really need to, who knew?) and a nasal spray. And I get to go out of town for work tomorrow. Oh goody. :) At least I won't have to cook!

It's the Easter Bunny's Fault

Have you ever had one of those moments when, judging by the utter astonishment and "You've got to be kidding me" looks on people's faces, that you've just said something incredibly stupid? And yet you have to sit there for a few replaying that last bit of conversation in your mind to figure out just what it was?

It's bad enough when this happens with your peers. But when an almost-twelve-year-old that's already too bright for her own good and you're barely two steps ahead of her on a good day aims that look in your direction....well. It's humbling, that's what it is. Or humiliating. Take your pick.

After a fun filled afternoon last Saturday (including another jaunt to the library - whoo hoo, more books!) my little sister's mom Michelle came over to pick Shanni up at my house. I'd bought this truly delightful cookbook "The Best of Family Fun Cooking & Parties" [run, do not walk, to the nearest bookstore for this book!!!!], and we were leafing through it, idly chatting, etc. Shanni proceeded to tell me a story about how the day before they'd found an egg in the bathroom, and were trying to figure out how it got there. It'd obviously been someone's delicacy; partially eaten and had some fur on it. Probably one of the cats or dogs. I, thinking I'm absolutely brilliant, deduct that one of the critters found [insert drum roll] a rabbit nest and stole a rabbit egg. Carting the remainder inside to "save" for later.

See, this is where I get the looks. I rapidly review the conversation and say, somewhat uncertainly, I guess, due to the laughter I get, "Ummm, rabbits lay eggs, right? Or not?"

When they finally stopped laughing. I was assured that no, rabbits do not lay eggs. They are mammals and have live young. By this point I am beet red. To my ear tips, even! I hate that even at 34 I blush so easily. Sigh. They giggled over this for the next hour, seriously.

I know I will never live this down...how do I know this? Well, a) family just does not let stuff like this go...and b) my little's step-father called me several hours later (not having been there at the time) and is all serious on the phone saying "Natalia? This is Steve. I have something very important to tell you...Rabbits are mammals. Mammals have live young..." he said some more after that, something about marsupials can have live or lay eggs, or something like that. Oh, and we don't really have any marsupials in Montana. Don't remember the rest because I was laughing too hard. But I do remember him saying "Michelle was right, I can hear you blushing over the phone." And I was. Am blushing right now writing this.

In my defense, it's all that darn Easter Bunny's fault. I mean really. What's a city girl to do? He goes around giving away eggs every year. Rabbits and eggs are inextricably intertwined in my mind! Although if you really look at it, it's pretty twisted. Giant rabbit hiding potential babies all over the place and we have to find them...Geez. And apparently, they're stolen at that! ;)

Chocolates & Long Island Iced Teas

Goals: 2x Abs, 2x Arms, 2x Legs, 1 outdoor
Sitrep: 1x Abs, 1x Arms, 1x Legs

My house tonight.

Okay. I'm trying really really hard to make that fruits & veggies and Tension Tamer tea, but am struggling. And it's only 10:14 am.

Got to work yesterday to a work computer (mine) that is d-y-i-n-g. It's 4 yrs old and near the end of it's lifespan, but I'm milking it for all it's worth. But see, it's my computer and we don't actually have extra workstations lying around. I'm also going out of town for 4 days next week for work and need the dang laptop. *pulling hair out*

I'm the IT around here. So it's my job to fix it. I was working on the computer all day yesterday (between other things) and took it home and was working on it until 11pm. No workout and now I'm tired. ;( [anyone else hear the violins] *g*

I also have 5 seminars I'm prepping for concurrently (who the heck arranged that? oh, yeah, me!) and yesterday half our staff was out sick and on vacation. One's back, thank the Goddess, and I'm making him bind books today...I've got all printers going full bore, and two computers set up on my desk. I keep sliding my chair back and forth between the two. I'm on fire. LOL.

It's better than yesterday, when I was, quite literally, running between two desks across the office from each other... Hey. Can that count as a workout? No, prolly not since I hit McD's on the way home...

Now that my brief break is over, back to the grind.

Yep. Tonight can't come soon enough for me.

Unexpected

Last Week
goals - 3x Arms, 3x Cardio, 1x Abs
sitrep - 1x Arms, 2x Cardio

This Week
goals - 2x Arms, 2x Abs, 2x Legs, 1 Outdoor
sitrep - 1x Arms, 1x Abs #2

I slid into bed last night and finally figured out why it feels so nice lately to go to bed. It's the sheets. And it's not because I put clean sheets on this weekend. I change them all the time since that silly dog sleeps in the bed with me.

Lately I've started using the sheets that I got as a child. The ones given to me for my "hope chest" by my maternal female relatives whenever we visited them in Spain. When I have those sheets on the bed, it's like going to sleep wrapped in a hug from my Abuela (grandma) and my Tias (aunts) and my mother. Which is wonderful. No wonder if feels so good. Which explains why I love the hot pink & white bathroom towels with a puffy white swan appliqued on them. Soooo not my style, yet I hang them in the bathroom with a smile.

Those towels and sheets, and the others in my closet from that "hope chest", don't weigh me down (as they might some of my more liberated friends), they lift me up, because they represent the love and hopes and dreams my family had - still has - for me. They're also a reminder of simpler days. Childhood and teenage years that, even with all their accompanying drama, still bring a smile to my face as I remember them.

It's things like that, and like getting home to an answering machine message from a friend with a simple hello and check-in and encouragement all in one, that really make my day. That make me feel all wrapped up in hugs; that all's right with the world.

Everyone Gets a Teaspoon

As cranky as I was last Friday, the week actually ended on an upbeat note, which followed me through the weekend.

After work I went home, picked up the mutt & headed over to my little sister Shani's house. While waiting for some other friends to show up for dinner, we decided to go get some pictures of the veggie garden we planted earlier this year. When we got to the garden gate, Shani and her mother had me close my eyes and then escorted me into - and across - the garden. I threatened them with all sorts of dire consequences if they made me step on my carrots! They finally led me to a stop and this is what I saw upon opening my eyes:

Is this not the coolest? It's our Giant Pumpkin!!!! Whoo-hoo...then we proceeded to go mad taking pictures of the rest of the garden.

Michelle, my little's mom, was so excited that we actually have a watermelon growing. I guess we didn't realize we'd planted that...There were a few of us doing the planting, and apparently there are tomatoes as well! Although only Shani eats them. [g] I think one of the guys helping with fencing planted the tomatoes. The watermelon is quite small, as you can see.

As Michelle said,
"Everyone gets a teaspooon!"

I took home a stack of potatoes and onions, as well as some of the Kentucky Wonder Beans. We planted squash and cucumbers and more. Even some carrots that turned out pathetically small as we didn't realize they need to be thinned. Ooops. It was kinda funny how excited we were (especially me!) about eating stuff we planted and grew. LOL. It was a first for this city girl.

We had some of the corn and onions with our grilled burgers and hot dogs. Steve, my little's stepdad, kept joking about killing one of the wild rabbits so prevalent out there and make us a rabbit stew...Which made the kids shriek in dismay, of course. [g]

After dinner we played a few rounds of Jenga. Complete with our own song. See, Shani's step-dad has this habit of making up songs on the spur of the moment. Very original and creative, actually. And usually pretty funny. He and some of his friends "escaped" to the man-cave while we played Jenga. We could hear them laughing, and at one point it sounded like he was singing something about hunting...

Which prompted Josie to start one of her own (sung to a kind of blues tune):

Saw a Rabbit in my garden
And I Grabbed my pitchfork
My wife said no
The kids were screaming
"Go go go"

That last line was my contribution; she seemed a little stuck, and they seemed fitting. We couldn't stop laughing for a looooong time. And this was without any alcohol! Aren't friends grand?