Well, I'll be a Monkey's Uncle (edited)

****FORCE OF NATURE SPOILER ALERT****

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!

Just in case you didn't believe me
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I just have to get my thoughts down somewhere, so, here we go.

After work yesterday I went home and immediately fixed dinner (sorry REVvers)...while reading. Ate dinner...while reading. And read until midnight, when I finished the book. What can I say. She hooked me.

This was a very very satisfying read. Because there were no loose ends at the end of the book!!!! Can you believe it? I can hardly believe it. I was just over halfway through it when it dawned on me what she was actually going to do in this book

What a surprise. I had no idea that Jules & Robin were going to get their happy ending in this book. It was supposed to be about these two new characters, Ric and Annie. Well, we briefly met Ric in one of the other books, Gone Too Far, I think...But they were rather eclipsed in this book because of Jules & Robin. Who only got strung along for 4 books, not 6, and only Jules was in two of them. Not that I'm particularly thrilled that Robin was Jule's happy-ever-after. A little disappointed. Once I overlooked the "when did he get a grip and accept that he's gay" question. (Maybe I need to re-read? I could have sworn last time we saw him he was still rather in denial, even after the whole sleazy Adam thing). And when I forced myself to forget the Adam thing.

But I am so thrilled that that is finally over!!!!!! So this book ended with Ric & Annie together, and Jules & Robin together. So. I'll probably be flamed for this (if I ever post in on the BB, that is) but I'm rather relieved she wasn't as descriptive with the love scenes with Jules & Robin. I'm just not that...comfortable...reading that kind of scene. And honestly, she's been dialing down the heat/sex scene quotient book-by-book as she gets more mainstream. Not sure why hot steamy sex scenes are great for the female dominated romance market, but not the general public? What, like guys don't like to read about sex? But I digress.

Back to the book. Jules & Robin were emotionally satisfying. I can see how the events of this book would force both of them to make the decisions they did.

Ric & Annie were cute together. Lots of snappy repartee. But the thing is, like in a lot of the last few books, they were a bit overshadowed by the story-arc characters: Jules & Robin. They lose out in comparison, because J&R have such a built-up story already. Their characters are very well developed, very fleshed out. They were major secondary characters in Cosmo & Jane's book. Frankly, almost over-shadowed them in that book as well.

Here are my issues with Ric & Annie. They were the secondary characters. Lots of page time, probably as much as Jules & Robin. But they were the secondary ones. Less character development. So to make their falling in love in a few short days believable, she had them know each other from childhood. For about 20 years. Yeah, okay. But all of a sudden he's so over-protective, etc. Going crazy trying to keep her safe. It's an over-used device in my opinion. Very tired. Geez. Find something else to cause tension between the hero/heroine. Some other issue they need to resolve before they get their Happy Ever After. But. Okay. And then all of a sudden he's loved her since they were teens? Umm, that wasn't really brought up until well into the book. But okay.

And what about how Ric just quit the police force and opened his business. Then all of a sudden at the end he was dissatisfied with his career for a long time? Doesn't like his new business? Where'd that come from? Did I read too fast? Skim too many scenes? Miss something? I didn't think so...made myself read slower than normal. Geez, it took two days for me to read the book.

Then there's the quintessential sex scene where - ooops - you make me so crazy I forgot the condom. She does this in just about every book. And in this book, like the others, she makes the heroine be okay with this. Well, I don't think so. Especially in this book. Ric is quite the womanizer. Maybe not quite as much as Annie thinks, but he's no saint. So. he's had this "girlfriend" in Ohio for years. Who visits him in Florida every couple of months (or something like that, anyway) and then all of a sudden calls up and says she's coming down with her fiance and please get your stuff out of her condo? Obviously she's not been monogamous. But okay. I can deal with that.

But early on in the book Annie finds him seconds away from having sex with a woman he's just met after already seriously making the moves on Annie and then they find out this woman he was going to have sex with was a FORMER FAMOUS P.OR.N S.TAR???????? But hey. That's okay. Let's not use a condom and I won't freak out. And then after this talk about blood tests, etc? What the...

And is it just me, but how likely is it that everyone they meet has the same sense of humor, etc?

Anyway. I guess I just focus on the irritating stuff, huh? But seriously. This was a very satisfying read. More like how I felt when I'd finish her earlier books. Before she started the whole Sam & Alyssa torture-fest. Which she is apparently wanting to continue. Sigh. Because I know she's still got Decker/Sophia lined up for this. Frankly, I don't like either of those two reoccuring characters. Some major ICK factor there for me. And then she started dangling Izzy and Tracy in the last book, Into the Storm. So she's not stopping with this story-arc stuff.

I wonder how newbies to her books react? I can't imagine reading Force of Nature as my first book by her. How lost would I be? Would Annie & Ric be totally drowned out by Jules & Robin? Or would they not appear as strong because they've not been burdened with the past history and drama. Hmmm. Never thought of that. Maybe Annie & Ric would be very fleshed out for them, because they haven't read the other books.

Anyway. I didn't mean to go on and on like this. I'm sure there's plenty more I'll think of to say. Maybe I need to do a re-read of the series. But that will definitely have to wait until I get the next Microsoft certification exam done. Hopefully in September. Maybe October. Well. I'd better get to work.

Oh! Just remembered something. Can I just say that I was a little irritated in this book at the almost stigmatizing attitude toward someone who has sex without being in love? For Pete's sake. It's 2007 here! If two people decide to have sex because they want to have sex, and they're both unattached consenting adults, what's the problem???? It felt like being lectured to me. Just because someone has sex with someone they aren't in love with, it doesn't make it a bad thing. Forgot to post about that earlier.

Well, that didn't work

Goals: 2x Abs #2, 2x Arms, 2x Cardio
Sitrep: 1x Abs #2, 1x Arms

So much for my big exercise motivation idea. I was not going to allow myself to buy Suz' new book, Force of Nature, unless I worked out 15 minutes every day this week. It came out the 14th. I bought it yesterday. I have no willpower. I was doing my monthly grocery shopping at the h-e-double-hockey-sticks that's Wal-Mart, and there it was. A hardback at $14.46 is hard to pass up...

Especially when you live in a town where you buy at Wally World or Costco (another nightmare place to visit) or Hastings (which rarely has good sales).

So FON went home with me. But hey, at least I managed to feed the dog and myself, and put all the groceries away. There's still a pile of plastic grocery bags on the counter, though. And unwashed dishes. Good news is, I did go to bed at my normal time. Bad news, I didn't REV. I'm a weak, weak, woman. (But that's not news to me!)

So today I have to do 30 minutes as soon as I get home. No eating, no touching the book. I am woman, hear me roar. ;)

DON'T READ FURTHER IF YOU'RE AVOIDING ALL DISCUSSION OF THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU'VE READ IT

Preliminary thoughts on FON:

It was hard to get started. The first couple of chapters are set-up, introducing (or reintroducing) you to the main characters. She has to do that now because there is so much back story from other books...I think that's one of the things I'm liking least about the books. Usually I like back story, and the connections...but these are getting so, I don't know, weighty, somehow. There are a lot of characters, and I'm so scatterbrained I'm losing track of who has what characteristics/voice. But that could just be me. :)

TAADMC.

The.Abbreviations.Are.Driving.Me.Crazy. Not much fun, is it? I blame that on two things. One, the military/government community uses a lot of abbreviations. So when writing in the "voice" of people in those arenas, to sound true, you have to use abbreviations. Two, we've become a world of text-messaging and instant-messaging addicts. All that short-hand texting. KT (little sister's sibling) texted me once and I had to call her to ask her what the heck she was saying! There are too too many words in my life to be able to do that.

The drawback is that not all the readers are going to know the meanings. And the ones I did know, I had to think on for a few seconds. They stopped the flow of reading for me. Jarred me out of the story. Like POTUS. What the heck is that? Okay, take a second, what's this character thinking about? Re-read last few sentences. Oh, yes, President of the United States. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. And then in one of the paragraphs the heroine described the hero as "TDH". Hmmm. The Defiant Hero was all I could come up with. (Title of one of her previous books.) I must have sat there for 5 minutes trying to figure out what she meant when it hit me. DUH. That's shorthand for "Tall, dark, handsome". Sigh. I could just be me. And once you get past those "introductory" chapters, either she's not using the acronyms as much or I'm getting used to them...or I'm - finally - getting sucked into the story and not noticing them.

No WWII subplot. I miss those the most. I just loved how she wove those into the modern day story. They were great. But again, there's just too much back story now with the secondary characters that they WWII plots have been abandoned.

But see, they're not secondary characters anymore. There are now multiple main characters in all these stories. Which I dislike the most. I like secondary characters to be secondary. Their storyline/presence should not be as important as the hero/heroine. And for Pete's sake, if you build them up, finish their story in the next book!!!! I guess what's already bugging me about this, is the secondary characters are getting lots of buildup already, and I know there's not going to be a resolution for them in this book.

Only that's why I read romance. It's for the guaranteed happy ending. I really hate this dragging out stuff over three or four (or more!) books. And the move away from Romance to Romance/Fiction to Fiction. Which is where she is heading. A lot of the really great Romance authors seem to do this. I'm not sure why. I know they change over time like the rest of us, probably get bored, too. Maybe there's lots of pressure from the publisher, or there's just more money to be made...who knows.

Funnily enough, so far it's still a good book, and I'm anxious to get home and read some more. I'm just such a whiner! [g]

Two Happy's Today

Weekly Goals (M-Su): 3x Abs #2, 2x Arms, 2x Cardio
Sitrep: 1x Abs #2, 1x Arms

Happy One:

Happy birth-day to you, hap-py birth-day to-o you, happpppyy BIRTH-daayy dear brooooo-therrrrrr, hap-py BIRTH-daaay toooooo youuuuu!

Aren't you glad you can't hear me singing this to you? Love you lots and hope you have a great day. Wish I was there to celebrate with you. :)

(Uh, I'm sure it's no surprise, but your present will be delayed. This time, however, it's not because I haven't gotten it yet. I've been having a few...difficulties...with it. but I did mail part of it with your card. The rest'll be in the mail by this weekend, hopefully!)

Happy Two:

Happy BodyRev Anniversary to Me!!! Today is the one year mark for the first time I used the BodyRev. First workout: Legs. Ahhh, I remember it well. Eight minutes, yes that's the number 8, into the Legs workout, I sat down. [g] And boy did my legs hurt the next day. And the day after, I had to force myself to sit down and pull myself up, all from the squats in the routine. I think my muscles were in total shock I'd required them to do something other than walk between car and building. :0

But it's been a good year. Hit it hard the first 6 months, which is where I lost the 20-25 pounds (it fluctuates, darn it, why won't it just stay at the 25 pound mark!). It's also where I lost those inches and started to tone. I dropped from a high-end size 16 to a 14 and then a 12. Yep. Today I am wearing size 12 slacks. Un-be-liev-a-ble. At least, that's what I used to think! And my arms, wow, I have muscles! When I do the "muscle" pose, you can see 'em, and they even feel firm when poked!!! Now, I'm not winning any arm wrestling contests, but for my arms they are darn impressive!

Insert happy dance here.

And I'm feeling great. Even though the last 6 months have been less committed (I think the slacking off time outweighs the REV time, ackkk) I still feel good, and have kept the weight from creeping back. I'm eating better, sleeping better, and life is just, you guessed it, better!

My goal for the next year of BodyRev is to get to the point where I can do all 4 15 minute workouts together. I actually got there once during this last 12 months. It almost killed me, but I did it. I can do it again. :) And the rest of the goal is to graduate to BootCamp.

The sun is shining, some of the smoke has cleared out, and it's a Two Happy Day today. :)

Out of Thoughts

Sitrep: (Since last Wednesday)
2x Arms, 1x Abs #1, 1x Abs #2

Surprisingly. [g] Okay. Maybe more like I'm out of mental energy.

I'm trying to get back into my "FlyLady" routine. It worked wonderfully for me when I was in the last rental. The move just threw me totally off track. Then I started REVing and that was enough of a project. Now I'm incorporating REVing into my FlyLady routine. Sad that I need to do this, but oh well. Whatever works.

Yesterday was nice and mellow, both at work and at home. Not too much going on I feel like musing about. Politics, weather, economics, books...my brain is on vacation apparently!

So here's some fun/bizarre stuff for today:

Battle at Kruger (some of you may have seen this on TV)

Pardon me, is that a Monkey on your head?

What is with this Monkey on the Head thing?

Or is it just Monkeys in general taking over? 'Cause there's a Monkey on the Loose.

And if you get one of these, you'd Better hope it doesn't rain.

And just because I think this is an awesome picture, and am so jealous I didn't shoot it myself:

Smoky skies make for a brilliant sunrise over the Capitol dome Wednesday.

- Martin J Kidston, Helena Independent Record photo

Alden is Scary, and Thank You VW Bozeman.

Yup. Alden is scary per my little sister Shanni. And this is only the Abs Essentials DVD. [g] She and her older sister KT went with me to Bozeman Monday when I took my car in for repairs. We had to return Tuesday because the part wasn't in stock.

So Monday night the girls stayed at my house. "Slumber Party" they squealed. Yeah, right. I crawled into bed at 9:30 pm. Driving takes it out of me. As well as 5 hours at the mall with 2 teenage girls.

Tuesday morning I got up and was determined to keep going with REVing. It was an Abs day, so it wasn't too hard to make myself do it. But I moved on to Abs Essentials workout #2, because that's where I was and I'm not letting myself go backwards! Shanni spotted me, and was very disappointed that when I pulsed up toward her hands it didn't make the same clicking noise as on the DVD (Alden spotting for Sarah). I had to point out it was his wedding ring hitting the Rev. So she used her finger nail to make the noise. LOL. But she goes "he's scary". I'm like, "What? No he's not!" Her 16 year old sister (still curled up on the couch under a blanket) rolled her eyes and said "No he's not. It's motivational."

Then I said, "He's a Navy SEAL you know." Shani then shot back at me "That makes him scarier." [g]

But when I was done, she wanted to try. So I let her do the original essentials workout with no weights. She did it. Some of it was a bit of a struggle, but she did the whole 15 minutes. Said she could feel her abs. She swears today she doesn't feel a thing. I'm not sure if she's telling the truth or not...

Anyway. Our second day in Bozeman was just as fun as the first. VW went ahead and covered the repair to the catalytic converter under warranty since it expired 2 days before I called in. And probably because I was there in May for the 50k mile checkup which was a pretty extensive one.

While they worked on the car, we spent the day at the mall - again. Their service dept didn't even ask the second day. Just picked up the phone and called their "shuttle" driver and said "We've got some ladies that want to go to the mall." [g]

I "made" the girls spend the first several hours at Barnes & Noble. Monday was their first ever trip to a bookstore like Barnes & Noble. They loved it! It was funny. They kept running up to me to get my cell phone so they could type in book names into the "notepad" feature using the full keyboard. Right now there are 3 book lists going. Me, KT and Shanni. ;)

We also did the "girl" thing. Both days. sigh. Spent more time than I care to admit in Claire's. The cosmetic jewelry store. Eventually I ended up outside on one of the benches, staring longingly down the concourse to B&N. [g]

The girls were great. Only one time did I have to get on them for squabbling. I got a few amused looks from other women in the mall when I said (apparently louder than I was planning to) "Hey! You've both spent the last 2 days in the Mall! NEITHER ONE OF YOU gets to cop an attitude!!!!"

Did you know the 80's were coming back in style? Seriously. KT is so into this; fingerless gloves, fishnet, etc. One of the stores was, like, a total flashback. When we finally left the store, Shanni goes "I didn't like that music." KT responds, "oh, I love retro." To which I yelped "Hey! No calling music I grew up on as RETRO!" Which made both of them start laughing.

The drive was actually fun. On a whim, I put in the unabridged audio book of To Kill a Mockingbird. I figured it was safer than finding music all of us would like, and age appropriate for both girls. Except I forgot the mouth Scout has in this book. But both girls absolutely loved it. The were both really getting into it and laughing. Even Shanni, who was the one I really wasn't sure would enjoy it since she's 11, almost 12. They ended up borrowing my paperback copy to finish the story, since we only got halfway through the book on CD (and that's with total car time of 4 hours).

Anyway. We had a good time, the car is fixed, I'm back on track with BodyRev, and my little sister is now impressed even more with my workout. Even if Alden is "scary." ;)

Timing, as the saying goes, is everything..

A few months back, I started hearing this kind of rattling noise from my car when I'd start it. Or while accelerating or braking. But no one else ever heard it. I figured I was just being paranoid as I have a tendency to do sometimes, and since even I didn't hear it consistently, brushed it off.

Around that time (end of April/beginning of May) I had to go out of town for work to a city where there's actually a VW dealer. So since it was time for my car to be serviced, I made an appointment and took it in. The AC wasn't working well either, so I had them fix that. (Just needed to be recharged). But see, I didn't mention the rattling thing to them.

So. They serviced the car, fixed up the AC and sent me on my way. No mention of any rattle, etc.

By June I started to hear that rattling noise again. Then more often. The second week of July, I had a couple of people tell me they could hear it and I should get it checked out. But by then the convention prep was in full swing and no way was I going to have any time to get the car in to the dealer.

FYI, my car is a 2000 VW Jetta with just over 55,000 miles.

So. I called early this week and scheduled an appointment. The soonest they can get me in is this coming Monday. So I've taken the day off of work and will be going in.

A friend that "knows cars" came by this week to see if he could pinpoint the problem. He said it sounded like the exhaust system, possibly the catalytic converter, which wouldn't be covered under my power train warranty. So I went to the local mechanic he recommended. Who says my catalytic converter needs to be replaced. [I probably shouldn't drive my car so much off-road. lol.] He'll fix it for me, parts & labor, for $340.00. Which I can do, without too much struggle. Irks, but oh well.

Just to be sure it wasn't covered under warranty, I called the VW dealer. The service department guy says there's an emissions warranty that includes the catalytic converter: 8 years or 80,000 miles. I'm good on the miles part. But can you guess when the 8 years was up?????

JULY 29, 2007!!!!!

The technician couldn't believe it...he said to bring it in, and if that's what the problem is he'll call VW and see about getting it covered under the warranty.

So I called VW myself, and they confirmed that it was up on 7/29. Crazy unbelievable. lol. He started the process, but of course wouldn't guarantee that they would cover it under warranty. Sigh. There's a chance, though, but slim. But I definitely have to get it diagnosed by a VW service department. So I'm off to Bozeman on Monday. Definite bright side - they have a Barnes & Noble AND a Borders. :)

Anyway. I'm not freaked or upset. It's just ironically funny. Next time I'm just gonna go with my instincts...I drive my car every day. I know if it sounds off or not...

And also for timing - sometime next month the state is sending out $400 property tax rebates to all property owners. Whoo-hoo. So even if I don't get it covered under warranty, I'm getting money back that'll cover the cost....

Timing, as the saying goes, is everything. ;)

And speaking of timing. These people are leaving just in the nick of time, don't you think?

Someone Stole My Mountains

Sitrep: 15 minutes BodyRev Essential Abs #1

Thank-you to my brother for his call yesterday. After that, how could I not workout? And I still want to know what my SIL was laughing about in the background. You sounded like you were having way too much fun without me! And thank you too Trudy! :)

Now. On to my mountains. Apparently the Meriweather fire about 40 miles north of town is now the nation's #1 firefighting priority. Isn't that nice? It's been burning for almost a month now, and it's just a matter of waiting for rain and/or snow to put it out...

But we've been dealing with the smoke from it, and it definitely got worse yesterday. Here's a picture from my back door, looking south (the fire is north of my house!):

Can you see my mountains?












They're there, I swear. Somewhere I have a picture of this same view from right after I moved in. Janet W might remember it. I posted it on the BB once. Can't find it now. Smoke is still pretty bad this morning.

This fire's up to 31,000+ acres now. Most of it in the Gates of the Mountains Wilderness area and the Beartooth Management area. Not a lot of permanent homes up there. Some, and some campgrounds.

Anyway. Here's a picture I found of the fire from Tuesday afternoon's "run". (Seems like the fire makes a run for it every afternoon.)

A mountainside erupts into flames as the Meriwether fire burns near
Holter Lake on Tuesday.

Great Falls Tribune Photo/Robin Loznak

It's beautiful in a wild and elemental sort of way, isn't it?

Sitrep

AKA "Be Mean to Me Day".

I'm in one of those moods today. Not sure why. I'm tired and sore and ganging up on myself. I can use any excuse I want (and have quite a few) for not exercising the last month. I've been sleeping poorly, eating poorly, and exercising not at all. And my little forays into gardening and mowing the lawn don't count, not really! I mean, it's good to be moving, but my lawn is so tiny, I just get going when it's time to stop.

And I know that the not exercising makes my sleep worse which makes me tired which makes me eat worse which makes me tired which makes me not follow through with exercising.

Sheesh. It's not like REVing is that impossible of a task...I actually enjoy it when I REV, at least, as much as I enjoy anything called exercise. So why have I hit a brick wall? What has switched off in my brain that switched on last August? Because August 15 (yes, B, your birthday!) is the day I started REVing. I'm still down the 20 lbs, but that won't last for long if I keep this up.

And it's not the heat, it's not the smoke, it's not Grandma dying or LM dying...It's me using anything and everything as an excuse to not do what I know I should do. What I need to do. Like cutting my nose off to spite my face!

I'm disappointing myself, my family, my friends (especially those other REVin' Ladies who've given me such support), my little sister, and Alden (who I owe a testimonial to, and have been procrastinating writing because I've stopped REVing.)

So. What to do.

1) Make large red sign saying something suitably motivating & hang it in kitchen above where I make breakfast?

2) Place BodyRev on sofa on top of TV remote control?

3) Stop whining and just REV! Fifteen lousy minutes a day. For Pete's Sake. I've spent more time typing this blog entry!

Sigh. Okay. I'm going to do 15 minutes tonight. I'll start with Abs since it's my favorite. I'm going to do this!

Why is it

that kids who grow up in the same family with the same parents end up so different? It's got to be something in our genes. Or maybe it's just the friends/times for us are different enough, even if we're only a year or two apart? We remember different things, and common memories in different ways...It's as if we had different childhoods sometimes!

I just wonder at my brother, sister and myself. We are very different. My sister is very much a Generation X California Yuppie. (Love you, sis, and that's not an insult.) My brother is a down-home, laid-back, family man type - dare I say a bit of a redneck? (Love you too bro, and that's not meant as an insult either!) As for me? I'm not quite sure. I used to say I'm a redneck yuppie wannabe. Mooner, my little's stepdad, calls me an "educated redneck." [g]

How did I get off track like that? I was originally meaning to talk about the differences in our reading habits!

I love to read. Live for it sometimes. I prefer romances and some sci-fi fantasy. Mixed with biographies of famous and not-so-famous people (mostly women, I'm fascinated by women in history), history, political history, religion in history, regligious studies, economics...

My sister has always loved to read. She reads less now, but that's a side-effect of having a child, I think. Especially one as precocious as my niece. She mostly reads fiction. But growing up, oh, the books we read! We actually had a system at night, of different knocks on the wall between our rooms. Meet in the hall, going to bed, finished my book...Our secret code...

And our brother, who was never very into reading. Oh, he had his moments. But this photograph we have of the three of us as little kids says it all. The three of us are sitting on our front porch swing in Oklahoma. M's about 6, I'm about 4, B's about 3? Something like that. M & I are sitting there so prettily in our dresses and ponytails. B is lunging off the porch swing toward the camera. [g] Always in motion my brother. ;) Too restless to sit still I think.

But there was that summer we spent in Spain with our maternal relatives where he read. Out of desperation, boredom, not sure which. And there was the time he tried to smuggle a book into church and dropped it in the parking lot.

Ruined a good thing for M & I. LOL. Mom used to let us sit up in the balcony at church as long as we behaved. So I'd sneak my book in in my purse - ah, the days of big purses! - and stick it in the bible. Did all the stand-up, sit-down, kneeling stuff while reading. Everyone thought I was reading the bible during Mass. Ah, such a devoted girl! We had to sit downstairs with Mom & Dad after that. :( I'm not sure which was worse. Getting busted for reading during Mass, or having the priest ask what my sister and I were signing to each other during the service. Man, he had eyes like a hawk! Mom hadn't even seen that!

Anyway. My brothers kids like to read, but aren't as fanatical from the little I know (I don't see them often enough!) as my sister and I were/are. My sister's little girl likes to read. But she's so young now, it's hard to tell if it'll stick.

My little sister loves to read. The older she gets, the more she wants to read. It's fascinating to watch. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing myself at that age discovering books; the possibilities are boundless, worlds to discover and explore...

Books, Books, Books, and Books

Can you guess what I want to talk about today? [g] I promised a post on books last week and just didn't get there.

Saturday I went to the library with my little sis and her sister KT. We spent almost 2 hours there. I'm not sure who was more reluctant to leave. And we all came away with a handful of books. Plus we'd gone to the library the weekend before...We also take lists from their mom with us. [She's started calling me her personal librarian.]

She's gone through my TBR & storage piles to the point I don't have anything else for her to read. I got her hooked on Elizabeth Vaughan's trilogy - Warprize, Warsworn, Warlord. She'd call me every morning to "gripe" at me that she stayed up late reading them. She couldn't put them down. Mooner, her husband, picked the first one up the other day making comments about "romance novels" but actually stayed up late to read the first one. Which is - literally - a first for him! Or so he says. Next we'll get him reading Suzanne Brockmann's books.

So here's what I've been reading lately:

Never Lie to a Lady by Liz Carlyle
*****Fabulous. Loved it. Stayed up late to finish it. On a week night. Want more. And whaddaya know, the next book in the trilogy is apparently already out! Yippee!!! 2 Carlyle's in one week. How'd I get so lucky?

Web of Love by Mary Balogh
****It's a Balogh. Must I say more? Good read, follows Gilded Web. Not my favorite Balogh, but enjoyable.

The Fated Sky: Astrology in History by Benson Bobrick
*Would have been great if the author would have stopped trying to use every big word he knew in every sentence. For pete's sake!!!! Returned to library unread.

Into the Wilderness by Sara Donati
*I could not get into this one. It was a BB recommended read, and I'm surprised I don't like it. Maybe it's my dislike of books that pull characters from other books the author didn't write. This one pulls in the characters from the book the Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper. I don't like that. Too jarring for me for some reason. I also didn't like the writing style. Irritated/aggravated me somehow. I know it's her first book, and there you have it. :) Felt to me like a first time author attempting to write in the style of one of the literary greats. I'm just too picky. So I put it down (spent several hours trying to get into it yesterday afternoon.) It seemed a poor attempt at copying "Shanna" by Kathleen Woodiweiss. But not really. It wasn't similar at all. Bizarre, but I couldn't get that thought/book out of my head. Or my favorite The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare. Anyway. This book is now in the "return to library" pile.

The Raven Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt
TBD - just started last night. So far so good, but I'm only 5 pages into it.

Multiple papers on Legal & Illegal Immigration in the U.S.
***because it powered up my brain and I'm just freaky weird in that I enjoy this stuff. ;)

Sooooo. My TBR pile is small, mainly because the mood I'm in lately nothing really sounds good. And then when I read stuff by good authors, like Carlyle and Balogh...well, nothing else works afterward. [g] Good thing Suz is having another book out on August 15th. But what I'll do after that is the question. I'm probably good until the 17th. Then I'm in trouble...

Too Smart for My Own Good

Well, that's me in a nutshell. See, I really didn't want to go home this Christmas. Not because I didn't want to go home, but because I really don't want to travel. Especially at Christmas. Combine stress over winter weather and then the record number of flight cancellations going on, it just seemed like it would be no fun at all. And then there's Scully. I'm really too paranoid to leave her for more than a few days anymore. Every day when I go home, there's a little part of me that freezes for a few seconds, as if holding it's breath, until she comes padding out of the living room or bedroom to greet me...it's like I expect to come home and find her dead. [Sigh]

So, during a casual conversation with my little sister (one I'd forgotten, ackkk) I apparently told her I'd think about taking her to Florida to visit her "grandparents" next summer. Well, she took that to mean we're probably going to go, as in 99% sure. And you know, that would be cool. A road trip, stopping to see some sights along the way. I could bring the dog with, so no worries there.

So I mentioned that to mom and she seemed thrilled. And we could time the trip with my brother and SIL's annual trip home, so I could see them and the nieces and nephew. So when I went to pick up my little sister Saturday, I mentioned it to her Mom. Who apparently knew all about it already. [g] So I said it would be around 2 weeks, if my little could stand to be away from her mom that long. And her mom could stand to be away from her...She (the mom) got this funny look on her face, and said, "oh, I didn't think it would be that long." [Heh, like we're gonna drive to FL, visit and return in one week!] KT, the older sister and quite the level-headed teen for a 16 year old, is standing there with this totally pleading look on her face saying "wow, Florida, that would be fun..." So my little sister pipes up to KT at the exact same time I pipe up to her mom with "You can come with us..."

Uh-huh. Next time, keep your mouth shut. LOL. They jumped on the idea, but I thought it was one of those casual conversations, you know, pie-in-the-sky dreams. Well, that evening I got a call from my little's mom. Wanting to know if New Orleans is on the way to Florida, and if we can stop there to see a haunted plantation or something, and why don't I look that up online and start planning the trip for next June?

It's going to be a blast, it really is. (Assuming we actually make it to Florida.) Now I just need to tell Mom & Dad. Isn't it funny how, for a single and childless person, I'm coming home for the summer with as much family in tow as my brother and sister with their families? It's kinda my equivalent of "child and in-laws". Too funny.

Me

So I've rediscovered some stuff about myself lately that I hadn't even realized I'd forgotten! The debate on the BB about immigration, and my subsequent wading in and researching has made me realize how much I've missed discussing politics and economics and international affairs.

I mean, there was a reason that's what I majored in, and why I got my B.A. in Economics & International Relations in the first place.

Especially the economics stuff. I'd forgotten how much I really, really like this stuff. :) It's like my brain has woken up again.

Anyway. A few things in the news have gotten me going, and I'm just gonna post a bit here before going on to BOOKS.

1) Obesity is Contagious. Heard it on the news this morning. Uh-huh. Apparently, according to a new study,

Our ideas about what's a normal amount of food or exercise, and what counts as a normal body size, all seem to be influenced by the people to whom we're connected. And researchers believe these "norms" ultimately shape our weight.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=12237644 Well, duh. Coulda told you that.

2) Housing Market "Slump". Now it's not just subprime mortgages defaulting. Another "well, duh."

When I took the first time homebuyer's class out here in the beginning of 2006, they brought in a bunch of banks/mortgage companies to meet with us individually. I met with 3 of them. One of them was Countrywide. All three of them looked over my credit report and credit score (I'd already obtained them, it was part of the class to get them for the bank meetings). I have excellent credit (yeah, I'm boasting. It was hard work to get that credit score) the highest my banker said she's ever seen. Anyway. ALL of them said I qualified for $120,000 to buy a home. Countrywide was even willing to loan me up to $140,000 for a mortgage. WTF?

See, I'd already done my homework. There was - still is - absolutely no way for me to afford that. Not and buy groceries, put gas in the car, pay the utilities, keep a little set aside for house repairs/emergencies. Not to mention cable and phone and internet. And entertainment (for me, that's my book budget.) Or clothes. What the hell do these people think? That people will live without these things? Hardly. Life isn't worth living otherwise! (Or possible if you have no food!)They absolutely did not take into account any of that. Crazy.

Most I could afford is $80,000. That's $40,000-$60,000 less than what they were willing to give me. That's a big difference when it comes to mortgage payments. So I am not surprised that people are defaulting, even those with good credit. Not with the way gas prices and other prices are rising...seriously.

We live too much on the premise that "bigger is better." And appearances mean everything. Must have the biggest and best of everything. I shake my head as I watch the HGTV shows "Househunters" or "Designed to Sell". A lot of the time these families are saying "We have to get a bigger space because we've run out of room." And as the cameras pan through their homes, I almost inevitably think, "Geez, get rid of some of that stuff and you'll have tons of room!"

Most people I know are appalled at my little house. It's tiny and old and needs work. But it's just me. What do I need with several thousand square feet and four bedrooms and three baths? I don't even use the upstairs space - that's about 600sq feet used on storage. Oh, I have dreams of a craft room and guest room. But all my time is spent in the living room and kitchen.

All those people who are appalled at my little house, are struggling now. But I've absorbed the increased gas prices and other prices (including property tax increases) into my budget. Oh, don't get me wrong, money is tight, but not that tight. I was able to pay Scully's vet bill of $125 in cash this month. Bought that new storm door with pet door in it and paid it off in 2 months. So. Anyway. I just want to know: what the heck happened to personal responsibility? Everyone let the apparent "richness" of the housing market go to their heads. Short term thinking. Hel-lo-o-o. What goes UP must eventually go DOWN.

It's a hard lesson to learn, and I probably sound harsh and full of myself. But hey. It's not like this is new. It's basic personal finance.

And now I've rambled enough...and used up so much space on these two items I'm going to postpone my book post until later. :)

It's Definitely Summer, and I got a new Toy!!!

It's unbelievably hot, supposed to be in the 100's again today. It seems sinced I moved here 6 years ago the summers get hotter, earlier. Fire season is upon us several weeks early. The valley is filled with smoke, has been since mid-week last week. They say it's not actually from any of the MT fires, but from the ones in Idaho. Much worse there than here.

But they've closed a good portion of the Bob Marshall, and quite a few other popular camping/hiking areas. Most places seem to only be under Fire Restriction 1, which means you can have a camp fire in an established campground & fire ring. There are 2 fires just north of me, the Meriweather fire and the Little Wolf Creek fire. Neither poses a danger to my town, but they are just a short drive away, and plenty of people live up in there along the Little Wolf Creek. Seems like just about everyone I know is cancelling camping trips and planning for the Lake instead. I have a feeling it's going to get ugly out there this weekend. I'll stay away, thank you very much.

I'm just so glad I have my portable A/C. It vents out the bedroom window, and now that I have the doorway from the living room to the kitchen blocked off with heavy curtains, it actually keeps the living room bearable. It's running on high constantly, which is going to kill my electric bill, I'm sure, but at least neither Scully nor I are having problems from the heat. No need for long drives in the car with the air running, or coming in to work with her on the weekends just for the A/C!!! [Did that my 2nd summer here.]

Anyway. I had an uneventful weekend. Harry Potter arrived, and my little sis was thrilled. :) Even if I did insist on reading the end. Hey, it's not like I'm actually reading the series, I'm just curious. Or was. But not going to say what I think of the ending here, not for awhile. Don't want to spoil it for others!

Went swimming in their (little's family) new pool on Saturday. That was actually nice, until I had to head inside because the smoke was irritating my allergies. Sigh. It's one of those above-ground inflatables, and at 5'2 it comes to just above my waist when standing. Kneeling, it comes up to chin. Quite nice! Then we headed out for lunch and I got a new toy. A new cell phone. LOL. I finally decided to actually get a decent one this time. Usually I opt for the cheapest phone with the shortest contract...but I was getting so tired of the battery needing to be charged after just one 20 minute phone call, so I did a little research.

I ended up with the Samsung SCH-U740. I confess, I fell for the gadgetry-ness of it. :) What can I say. I love the fact that it's a flip phone, and also has a qwerty keyboard when you flip it open sideways. It has the notepad feature, something my old phone didn't have, so I can now make lists again. :) I already started at the bookstore this weekend. My little sister and her older sister were really wanting me to get this one. It was between this one and the Motorola maxx something or other. With my $100 "customer loyalty credit" (ie, no longer on contract, sign another one enticement) plus a $50 mail-in rebate, I got this one for $29.99. Not a bad deal all around. It has a camera, and camcorder feature. Plays music and all that other fun stuff. But I got it just for the phone part and the qwerty keyboard to make those lists when I see stuff in the store. I already have a list started for my little and her sister. Birthdays and christmas are coming, doncha know.

So of course I was dying to play with the new phone yesterday once I had it all charged, and wouldn't you know it, no one was home!!! I finally got to use it in the evening for a little bit.

I'm trying to decide on the ringtone I want to download; I used to have the Empire Theme from Star Wars, but it's not available. Bummer. I always knew with that that it was my phone ringing, and never blocked it out...I'll have to come up with something else....

A Trip to the Old West

So, I'm back from the convention, and lucid. Managed to drag myself away from the BB where I've been engaging in a debate over immigration. Yeah, I know, but I couldn't help myself! Anyway.

The opening night of the convention we held our Company Appreciation Night on the Charlie Russell Chew Choo. Company appreciation night is to show our appreciation (duh) for the companies our members do business with, and who sponsor many of the events at our convention. It gives the company reps face time with our agents, and is usually a fun evening.

This year since the convention was in Lewistown, we had dinner on the Charlie Russell Chew Choo. It's about 3 hours on a train (thankfully air conditioned!) that leaves - literally - from the middle of nowhere about 8 miles outside of Lewistown.

We bussed everyone there from the hotel. That was fun. Have you any idea how hard it is to get people on buses? Seriously. I have no idea how many times I had to holler "I need FOUR MORE PEOPLE ON THIS BUS." Finally I just started grabbing people and shoving them on. :) I got quite a few comments of "You're as bad as Roger." To which I always replied "Well, I was trained by the master! Do you want to make the train or not???"

It really was a lot of fun. Dinner was fabulous, excellent prime rib and baked potato, beautiful scenery! We didn't see too much wildlife, some bald eagles and antelope and deer. That's about it. But it was a fun and relaxing evening.

Even when the young agents took over the bar car. Ooops. And one of my coworkers had to make a mad dash through the cars to the engine in order to take the microphone away from one of the more, uh, overzealous young agents that had too much to drink and started to do a one-man radio show...Yikes.

Halfway back to Lewistown, we heard all these loud noises coming from outside the train. Everyone jumped and exclaimed, especially when we looked out the window and saw we were being robbed!


They stopped the train, got on, and "robbed" us. The train provides fake $7 dollar bills. There were even old-west "ladies of the evening" that got on the train and kissed the gentlemen before robbing them. :)

It was hilarious. Once they finished with us, they got off the train and proceeded to fight over the money. The women won, naturally!

The Speed of Light

I can't believe I actually have a moment to catch my breath and get online! I'm currently out of the office running our annual convention. Obviously, my boss was unable to attend and do this as usual. He is actually doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances.

The last 2 weeks have been insanely busy. But we're here, the convention is here and the first general session is under way. All afternoon needs have been taken care of, and I am manning the registration table. Thank goodness for wireless internet. :) Even in the backwoods of MT we have free wireless internet in the hotel.

So. Not much else to say. The morning inner tube float went well. Law class is under way. Only thing I need right now is the two speakers for the 3pm program. I just realized that starts in one hour and ten minutes. Yikes. Okay, breathe, don't panic. If I can handle one of our key note speakers, the Insurance Commissioner, cancelling on us 2 days before he speaks, I can handle this. At least we got a good program set up to cover his spot.

And tonight should be a blast! We're having our annual Company Appreciation Night on the Charlie Russell Chew Choo. And yes, that is spelled correctly. I can't wait. I've got my fancy digital SLR, and both lenses. Gonna be swapping for that zoom lens, I'd guarantee. There is even supposed to be an old fashioned train robbery. Whoo-hoo...

Fireworks - the Good Kind.

Well, I had a bit of a pity party below, didn't I? Sheesh. . I'm in a better mood now. Went out back and did some Qigong from memory. Helped me center and settle down a bit.

I think I'm getting a handle on this convention. Despite finding out the bus transportation from the hotel to the Charlie Russell Chew Choo on Friday night, where we reserved the train for the 135 people we're expecting to attend our Company Appreciation Night, was never arranged. Oooops.

So about my party on the 4th. I had an absolute blast, in spite of a few minutes of guilt for feeling happy while R's world has come apart at the seems.

The day started early. Got up around 8am. The dog even let me sleep in! Probably because I kept her up late the night before. [g] Picked up my little sister S and her older sister KT. Originally it was just going to be Shani and I, but their Dad decided Tuesday night that they couldn't come to my party. The 4th is his holiday, etc, etc. Gave their Mom grief to the point that their step dad Mooner was mad. Which is unusual for him. Even though the girls were originally only coming for an hour or so and weren't going to eat and were going to his house for the fireworks. FYI, their Dad's house is walking distance from my house. Everyone who knows me knows that for me, walking distance = really close!

Aside: I'm trying to come up with nicknames for the regulars in my life, in order to preserve their "privacy". I'm calling their step dad Mooner after the character in the Stephanie Plum books, for this one reason: In a transcendental experience, Mooner discovers the meaning of life. Unfortunately, a couple of hours later, all he can remember is that it has something to do with peanut butter. The Mooner in my life is addicted to PB.

Anyway. We met at our favorite local Coffee Shack (that's the name), filled up on high test. Why the heck we let S have a double shot is beyond me. Maybe we were thinking it would last long enough to irritate her dad? We hit WalMart on the way back to my house, because of course, in spite of 3 trips the night before in a 2.5 hour period, I still didn't have everything. Sigh. Got to my house and proceeded to clean. And I do mean clean. Both girls were forewarned that we'd be working not playing. KT was a sweetie; she usually is. Pitched right in and everything. My child (Misdmeanor, my little sister's mom, often says "You know she's your child too." Usually when my little is misbehaving or being irritating). So my child jumped in. Only she had 3 tasks done while each of us was on our first. Suspicious, I went into the living room where she'd swept with the regular broom & swiffer, and dusted. Yet half the entertainment center was coated with dust, as well as the entire area below the TV stand. Sigh. So I made her redo that part. She kept saying "But I did it already." To which I replied "When you're asked to do something you can't do a half-assed job. Do it all and do it right the FIRST time." Probably not the best language to use, but I was hot and irritated. Sigh.

The best part, though, was when she said she was done and I asked her to mop the floors. Now, I always ask and thank them for helping me and on. And they knew before coming over the entire list of things to do and picked the items they wanted to do. Floors were hers. So she shoots back at me "No, I want to watch TV or play. I'm bored." In a very whiny voice. Her 6 yr old voice. Considering she's almost 12, I hate it when she does this. So I just turned, looked at her, and said (quite calmly, I thought) "Fine. Then go clean the dog poop out of the yard. You know where the pooper scooper is." She kinda sputtered "wha...." But went straight to do it. I don't know if it was the look on my face or my tone of voice. But it shut her up in a hurry. LOL. I have an edge over her mother. I can return her to her parents whenever I want. ;)

After getting the house cleaned and the foods ready for the party, we crashed on the couch with our lunch. KT got on the computer immediately, just had to get into her MySpace account. [Yes, we check it, yes it's private, yes she's monitored.] Then S and I went outside to decorate the fence out front with balloons. We called for KT to come help us. When she got outside we ambushed her with water guns. Heeheehee...We were kind; we set 2 filled water pistols on the ground just outside the door for her to grab. Then the melee ensued. It was fun. We dragged my sprinkler out and turned it on.

Of course, all the neighbors were looking at us like we were insane. In my opinion, they're the insane ones. It was HOT. And really. Hardly anyone out here has AC. I know my house doesn't. Except the small portable unit I run in the bedroom when it gets crazy hot. Like yesterday and today; we're over 100*F. Yuck. According to Mom on the phone last night it was 10 degrees cooler where they are in FLORIDA. There's something wrong with that!

Well. Lunch break is over. I made myself take a lunch. Needed a break from work, and if I have to I can come in this weekend to get stuff done. I'll post about the party later. :) Ta-ta.

Take a step back folks

'Cause I'm gonna get loud here:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Do I effing care about the non-golf activities for the 2008 convention?

Do I effing care if we've booked a golf course yet for the 2008 convention?

Do I effing care why the local paper only has a 3-line obit for Laura while her hometown paper has a major write up?

Do I effing care that you disabled your wireless in your never-ending tinkering around with the computers when you don't know what the heck you're doing and now you can't get online unless you're physically connected to the network?

Do I effing care that you can't remember your password to logon for the fifth day in a row?

Do I effing care that you can't find work in your department for your part-time data entry people?

Do I effing care that we're out of coffee?

NO.

I DO NOT.

So stop pestering me every flippin' other minute! And don't ask me again if I have anything for your data-entry to do. Nothing changed since the last time you asked me - 10 freakin' minutes ago. I've got a convention starting in one week and I've got a program and roster to get to the printer; program sponsor hasn't sent me their ad for the back cover; entertainment hinted at but no contracts; no idea who is to be paid what, when and where; two hikes to arrange beverages/snacks for and I have NO sponsor that I know of for these events; one of our major prize sponsors hasn't confirmed they're donating this year and I need to go buy the prize; courses filed for continuing education credit but no approvals yet; paperwork yet to prepare for a course that must be filed today or I lose a major in-house program and source of income...

Screw the coffee. Someone get me a long island iced tea.

I lost my temper

Sigh. To those of you that know me well this comes as no surprise. To those of you just getting to know me through the luxury of distance, you might be a wee bit surprised. All I can say is it has been a rough day.

My boss's wife has been feeling sick for a few weeks. Last Friday, afraid her symptoms were pointing to a heart attack, they went to the ER. Everything was fine with her heart, but they did some blood tests and found she had Acut Lymphocytic Leukemia. She started Chemotherapy on Saturday. Sunday night they moved her to ICU. This afternoon she died.

I cannot begin to express how horrible this is. Oh, I'm glad that if she had to die, she didn't have months of agony fighting the cancer. That's no way to live. But for my boss. Who came through a nasty bitter divorce (after 20 years of marriage) and finally found a way to move past it and trust and love again. Only to have her taken from him after 8 months of marriage. (They'd been together for several years before that.) I'm just glad that they did have the chance to get married and have these past happy months.

But that's not where I lost my temper. Although it helped - a lot - in unleashing my tongue. It was a series of posts on the BB about President Bush pardoning Scooter Libby. I mean, the anger and party line crap that gets poured out of all of us. It just hit all my buttons. Especially the idea that Bush leaving office is going to bring about some kind of miraculous end to everything wrong in this government and country and world. Please. What's wrong has been wrong for generations. And will be wrong for generations to come. It's nothing new. Won't ever be new. Anyway. Here's what I posted:

contempt for the rule of law and the public

Pretty much covers every administration out there in my opinion. Past, present, future.

I'm probably going to regret posting this. All I can say is in my grief and anger over the extremely unjust death of my boss's wife, this irritates me. I'm sick to death of stuff like this. Of drawing these lines in the sand by party, and carrying on like one is better than the other. They ALL do stuff like this. It's just whichever one is in power that gets slammed the most. Switch the party in power, and we get selective amnesia. Just wait until after the next election and everyone will be slamming the democrats again.

I think what is getting people so riled up is the fact that it IS both parties. That it never changes. And just gets more blatant with each administration. It's so infuriating, we have to believe "our" party is better than that because it is "our" party. We know we're better than that, so of course any party we affiliate with must be better than that...

Add in the fact that all we see day in and day out on the news and everywhere else is endless arguing and refusal to listen to other opinions and black-and-white reporting, and name calling, and yet more arguing and talking over each other. It's insane.

I cannot truly be the only one that this did not come as a surprise too. I figured he'd be pardoned as soon as the courts said he couldn't stay out on bail. What did any of us expect? Justice? There's no such thing.

Republican OR Democrat - it doesn't matter. They ALL play the game the same way. It's how you get and stay in office. If you have money or power or both you will get away with whatever you want. Regardless of anything or anyone else. Regardless of the law.

And while I'm not an expert, and as much as I dislike Bush and the current administration, this is nothing new. Clinton is always brought up in comparison. You can look further back than that. Look at President Grant and his administration...I mean, talk about corruption and graft and blatant disregard for the law...

It's there. It's always there. No matter what we do as voters. Not even a revolution, which we tried in 1776 and look where we ended up. With the same old same old. Frankly, the only way to stop it is to remove humans from the equation.

So there you have it. I'm so disgusted with it all I could just scream. The politicians don't care. And frankly, we don't care either. Not really. Because if we did we'd change it. We'd find a way. My god. We put a man on the moon in the 1960's. Get real. We could change it if we damn well wanted to.

The things I don't know CAN hurt me.

Like how to use a weed eater. Seriously. No wonder those things come with a warning. Although "Wear protective clothing" hardly works. Not when it's 90*F+ outside. Got a nice welt on my leg from a piece of the line when it broke off. And that hit me on the upper leg on my jean shorts! Yikes. :)

As you can probably tell, I decided to do more yard work this weekend. Mowed the lawn again with my old-fashioned push reel mower. (Had a neighbor ask me where I got it, she didn't think they made those any more!) And finally used the weed eater I borrowed months ago from a friend. She doesn't use it anymore since she lives out in the woods.

It was a trial just figuring out what kind of line it uses. There's umpteen million types of line and do you just want the line or the line in a replacement spool. (FYI, get the line that COMES ON THE SPOOL). And of course, my friend has long since lost the manual to the weed eater. So I do some research online, and narrow it down to one I think will work.

Get home and realize I have to manually wind this stuff onto the spool. Lovely. Especially when you factor in my butterfingers. So I finally get the stuff wound, and put back on and out I go. Long orange cord trailing behind me like a line of fire. Turn it on and the thing goes wild. Okay, not wild, it just startled me. Startled the dog too. She ran back inside and spent the rest of the time watching me warily through the doggie door. I could SEE her there, just staring at me. Silly dog.

Then I had to figure out just how to hold the thing. But it stopped cutting after a few seconds. Darn it. Turns out I had the line wound too tightly. Sigh. Fixed that, and put it back together. Turned it on and the whole spool and cap went spinning off across the yard. I kid you not.

So I had to rewind the thing, put it back on, and go at it again. To make a long story short, it took me over an hour to get the back yard done Saturday evening, and then I spent over an hour on Sunday afternoon on the front and side. The stupid cap kept coming off and the spool would go careening all over the place. Lost the stupid ring that locks it on a couple of times...only an idiot would design a lawn implement in GREEN. Darn thing blended into the grass. Turns out the little things the cap and ring hooked onto were worn away. So it didn't have much holding it on. And the line kept sticking every few minutes so I had to keep taking it apart and pulling it loose.

By the time I was done, my legs were green from the knees down. My fault because I let the stuff on one side of the house get over knee high. Turns out it was pretty wet, not that I water that section. Must not get enough sun to dry it up from the rain we had a month ago. Wet ucky mushed up grass is not pretty. It really isn't. I had to rinse off in the sprinklers. That was actually one of the nicest parts of the day. :) That and helping my little sister and her family plant some Chinese Elms on their property. That was fun. Although my legs and arms are achy today. And my butt muscles got a workout from squatting to plant the trees.

So today I'm sore and have bruises all over my lower legs. Guess I got hit with more stuff while using that weed eater than I thought. :) And I dreamt I was chasing that darn spool and cap all night long. But my yard looks great.

REVing Up

So I had an interesting light bulb moment last night. While eating the pancakes I made for my, umm, second dinner. Sigh.

I've been trying to get this whole exercising and eating back on track. Not doing too shabby on the exercising. Better than I was for awhile. Especially now that we have the BodyRev group on Sparkpeople.

Last week was murder on the exercise/BodyRev front, not because I didn't want to, but because of getting that nasty sinus/allergy attack while helping with JT's wedding. I even took my BodyRev & DVD with me for my overnight stay at my little sis's (her mom wants to try it) but that was the worst night for the sinus attack and I could not do it the next morning. It was hard enough to get to the wedding rehearsal to take the photographs and help set up for the wedding & reception. (MB and I were the photographers. Gulp.)

By the weekend I was exhausted! Although I did rake the back lawn (thatch issues) Friday evening. And mowed on Sunday. With an old-fashioned push reel mower, thank you very much. Okay, it's a small lawn and was done in about 30-40 minutes. But still. :) On Monday I didn't exercise. Can give a hundred excuses. But did QiGong on Tues and Wed, and this A.M. I did BodyRev Legs and Abs#1. I want to do the QiGong tonight because I've noticed I sleep better the nights I practice QiGong in the evening.

But I digress. As usual.

My Revelation: I'm becoming compulsive over food again.

Not sure when it picked up. I think over the last two weeks. It's not PMS related (sorry if that's TMI.) It is totally stress/anxiety related. Not sure why...I can't pinpoint any one thing I'm anxious about right now. Maybe it's another stage of grief from Grandma's death? Part of it is the whole water thing as Alden pointed out. But that's not all of it. Hopefully by posting here and being honest, it'll make me STOP. It's just compulsive. I'm not hungry. I'm eating simply because it tastes good. For the pleasure of it. I'm trying to make myself eat healthy stuff, apples and carrots. But overeating is overeating! And the pancakes last night, an hour after I'd eaten a perfectly substantial dinner.

I also noticed through tracking on Sparkpeople, that my food intake is skewed in a way I'd've never guessed. If you had asked me, I would have said I was doing great on protein, a little high on fats, too high on carbs, okay on calories (maybe a few hundred over occasionally.) At least, that's where I thought I was for the last 10 months since starting REVing. Because I had totally revamped my eating habits. Portions, ingredients, no fast food, etc. But the reality is:

PROTEIN is on the low side on a daily basis.

Who'd've thought? Carbs, fats, calories are within my "range". Usually the middle or top. (Lately I've had days where I totally blew it. Like today when I got a Grande Mocha, non-fat milk, with whipped cream. Blew my fat and calorie count sky high. Eeeeek.)

So how do I get more protein? I can't do a lot of nuts due to food allergies. Migraines, body aches, etc. I guess I'll be researching that!

Anyway. I'm a little bummed about this, but not giving up. I'm looking at it this way:

a) I've had the portion sizes under control for most of the last 10 months, I can do it again. I just need to be a wee bit more vigilant right now.

b) I practically eliminated fast food from my diet, and when I do hit the drive through, I'm getting salads, etc.

c) I've conquered my cravings for tomato. A seriously big deal for me! It could almost have been called an addiction, and something I've struggled with for years. Yet the BodyRev helped me with that. Because I felt GOOD when I revved, and somehow that made me want to skip the tomato because as good as it tastes, it makes me feel BAD. And I think I was confusing my cravings for tomato with a need/desire for WATER. [Thank you Alden!!!]

Focusing now on getting the right balance of proteins, carbs, fats, calories, etc, is simply the next step. It's something I'd've had to do anyway!

So to everyone out there that's REVing, or working on any other type of exercise or eating or self-improvement plan, I'm sitting here cheering you on! I know it's hard. Some days it just plain sucks. But it is worth it. Keep it up, and I'll keep it up too. Deal?

Puppy Love

No, this isn't about my little sister and her recent crush on a boy at school and the subsequent let down when he turned out to be not-as-nice-as-she-thought. Although I could write paragraphs on that...

This is about me. And these darn maternal urges I get. Oh, they aren't for babies of my own making, I have no desire for one of those. Rather, I get these occasional urges for a new furbaby. I'm usually stronger than they are, but yesterday was another story.

I almost stole someone's puppy. [hanging head in shame]

I was doing the responsible homeowner thing after work yesterday, trying to salvage my lawn from a combination of extreme heat, lack of moisture and what just might be quackgrass. The yard doesn't appear to be irregular shaped, but I'm having a heck of a time getting a sprinkler that covers the whole front lawn (same prob in the back.) Maybe it's just my OCD coming through. I just stand there forever studying the water pattern and making minute sprinkler placement adjustments. But I digress.

During one of my "inspections" I saw something move out of the corner of my eye at the rental home 2 doors down. A cursory glance made me go "Oh, a Dachsund, and a weird looking one." A few minutes later I saw it approaching my front gate, and lo and behold, it wasn't a Dachsund. It was the cutest puppy I have EVER seen. I'm not kidding. Talk about melting my heart. Of course, I was through the gate in a flash, picking it up and cuddling it. She is a Boxer puppy. Now, I think Boxers are pretty good looking dogs, a bit big for my taste, but nice dogs. But this puppy was just something else! She belongs apparently to the homeowner 2 doors down. The ones renting to the "Punks Not Dead" people. She was cleaning out the house...they've either been evicted or skipped out. Surprise. Hah.

Anyway. They have a grown male Boxer that I've seen before. He was actually tied up since they had the gate open and he kept running off. He kept popping out of the yard as far as he could, whining at me, going back in the yard, whining at the house, coming back out, etc. Not sure if he wanted luvs too or was worried about the puppy. Sat out there for at least 10 minutes before I grudgingly took her home. Mostly because the other dog wouldn't stop whining.

I took her back down there, petted the older dog, and put her in the yard. Halfway back to my house I realized she was following me home...Just as I picked her up a woman came out of the backyard and looked shocked as heck to see me holding her puppy. She almost jumped the fence to get to us. LOL. I started sputtering "She's so cute. She came down to my gate and I couldn't resist she's so adorable. I brought her back but she started to follow me..." That woman almost wrenched the puppy from my arms. [g] Not very sociable at all. Didn't chat or introduce herself or anything. Probably thinks I'm a dognapper...Which I very nearly was.

To make this long post longer, I got to work today still wanting that puppy. So I researched Boxers. They are NOT the breed for me. Smart. Energetic. Stubborn. [My god, I already have one of those!] What I need is a stupid, lazy dog. [g] Boxers apparently require lots of love and attention [not a problem] but also need tons of exercise. That's a big problem, even with me exercising and REVing now. So. Everyone repeat after me:

You do NOT need a puppy.
You do NOT WANT a puppy.
You do NOT WANT A BOXER DOG.

I have Girl Feet

Seriously. I have girly feet today! My toenails are red, white and blue, in honor of the 4th of July. The last time I painted my toe nails was...last 4th of July. Oh the horror on MB's, JT's and my little sis's faces when I admitted I'd never painted my toenails. Well, really. This girl stuff is alien to me! I was tomboyish when young, and then more interested in reading later on. My poor mother...neither of her daughters were very girly...

But, as my sister recently told our mother, there is no need to worry. Mom's genes merely skipped a generation. They are alive and well in my sister's little girl. ;) She is such an adorable little princess, and is really into all this girlstuff, even at 3.5 years old. Talking to my sister this weekend was funny. My niece is in ballet classes, and on father's day they put on a recital in an auditorium with stage lights and everything. Well, the parents were told to put makeup on the girls so they wouldn't look washed out. My sister had to go to the store to get some, because she (like me) doesn't wear any. LOL. Her dilemma was funny. Spend the big bucks for the nice stuff, that doesn't test on animals, etc, or just get the cheap stuff. She opted for the cheap stuff. (Two peas in a pod, we are!) My niece was ecstatic to get lipstick "oooh, lipstick, oohhh!" My sis is a little baffled as to how the little one even knows about lipstick. LOL. No siblings, she doesn't wear any...

Daycare, friends, our mother....who knows? But it's funny. As is my niece's comment when my sister got her hair cut short. "Mommy, you look like Abuela." [Abuela is Spanish for Grandmother. Our mom is from Spain.]

My poor sister. It was all I could do not to laugh on the phone when she told me this. Okay, wailed "I don't want to look like my mother! I don't want to look like I'm in my 50's!" [Considering Mom is actually in her 60's, that ain't too shabby. And she doesn't look a bit like it!] And my sister in no way looks like she's in her fifties. [g] It's just too funny...And okay, I did laugh on the phone. I couldn't help it!

Anyway. How did I get here? I was talking about my girly feet. They surprised me when I was doing my Qigong exercises this morning. Bent over and "hello! red, white & blue!" :) Why on earth does this make me feel like skipping, and grinning like I'm 5 years old? I can't stop wiggling my toes, even if they are in socks and shoes...

I'm getting old...or what I learned, part dos

I cannot believe I forgot this on my list earlier. My memory is just shot. Must be my "old age". ;)
At the end of the evening, four hours after the reception started, I called it a night. So did my little sister's family. Well, since we (MB, my little's mom, and I) had been running around for days, trading who was driving, tossing the girls back and forth throughout the day, our stuff was scattered between the cars. So while we got everything sorted out (including SB, MB's husband, who really really liked the home brewed beer that was served at the reception) KT, the 16 year old daughter, decided to run back up to the reception and use the bathroom.

We're ready to go and look around, realize she's not in the car and start asking each other, where'd KT go? Me, I'm still looking in their car, convinced she's in there. We just had so much stuff. (I swear I saw her get in, and no, I did not have any of the beer. Or any other alcohol. I was tired.) Then all of a sudden she's rushing across the lawn to us and she just has this slightly startled look on her face. Like she's part mortified, part fascinated...part sick.

Turns out that one of the other wedding guests had enjoyed the beer as well. Maybe a little too much. We'd remarked on it earlier. But she went one further than just hootin' and hollerin' to the music and toasts and dancing wildly. She was having sex with one of the other guests in the little hallway just to the side of the bathrooms. (I'm hoping it was her S.O., because I do believe she showed up with someone.) Oh, boy. I am so glad it was KT and not ST, my 11 yr old little sister, because she would have not only announced it to us in as loud a voice as possible, but she would have followed up with an hour's worth of non-stop questions. And after three days of running, multiple doses of multiple OTC meds, and a full afternoon of 96*F weather, I don't think I could have done anything other than laugh hysterically...

Things I Learned This Week

A friend of mine's father used to tuck her into bed each night by asking her what she'd learned that day. Whether it was an actual school lesson or learned on her own, big or small, he'd wait until she came up with something she'd learned that day.

I've spent the past three days helping a friend of mine get ready for her wedding. It was crazy, like usual. But here's what I've learned:

1. Coffee first thing in the morning can be a life-saver (okay, I already knew that, but refresher lessons are valuable in their own way!)
   
2. No matter what the Bride says, her wedding will be fraught with nerves and squabbles and family pressures (also a refresher, lol)
   
3. You can get 10 dozen roses at Costco for $74.99
4. Lady Visa is not accepted at Costco
5. When you're sent to Costco to buy "all the pink and white roses they have; just grab them all" the person saying that didn't mean "all". They meant 2 dozen.
6. You can have too many flowers at a wedding.
7. Pharmacists have a sense of humor.
8. I do not.
9. The right combination of Benadryl Allergy & Sinus medication, Sudafed and Afrin nasal decongestant works wonders.
10. I'm addicted to water.
11. Not many places have bathrooms open to the public.
12. People do notice when you go out of your way to help them.
13. Never dye your hair the day before your sister's wedding. Especially when you're in the wedding party.
14. Unless you're the bride, don't wear white to a wedding. (Duh.) Especially if you're the groom's sister.
15. If you're the groom's sister and wore white to the wedding, and your baby starts to cry in a big way during the ceremony, remove the child from the immediate vicinity! Or the look the bride gives you from the altar will draw blood.
16. I am now doubly convinced my goal in life is to get a little piece of Montana land, with some trees, some open space, and a little creek (pronounced crick) running through it. Oh, and there must be a hammock.

Muddled

I haven't posted because my mind has been going over and over politics lately, and it's left me muddled, to say the least. I've had brilliant thoughts on it, but never when I'm near a keyboard or pen and paper. Naturally, I can't remember any of it later on. So it's probably just delusional thinking on my part that any of it was brilliant. :)

I keep hearing about Iraq, how we're going to be there for years and years. Something I was pretty much saying before the war started, not that I'm some kind of expert. But I just couldn't see then how we'd be able to get in and out as quickly as all that, and my cynical side just assumed we'd be staying for the long-haul as we did in Europe, Japan, etc, with our bases. And the news this morning was all about how Gen. Petraeus (sp?) apparently said something this weekend about it usually taking 9-10 years for counter-insurgency operations. Of course, the idiots reporters were all over this, carrying on as if this was some kind of news break this morning. Um, okay. Where the bleep have you guys been the last few years? On the moon?

But one guy did make a comment that kinda made me sit back and go "hel-lo." Kinda put that ten years in perspective. He said something along the lines of "there are third graders at bus stops all over the US that will be fighting in Iraq in ten years." Oh, my goodness. That includes my little sister and her friends, and my 2 oldest nieces. I hadn't quite looked at it in that light before. It kind of makes it more real, somehow. Not like it wasn't real before. Just the long-term is more real. I guess I'm just used to living in the here and now, and looking ahead that many years...well. Anyway.

But it got me to thinking even more about what would work in Iraq. What would make a difference? I just don't see how anything could. The enmity and hate and intolerance in that region of the world is just so deep I can't imagine anything will help. Except for another strong leader rising to power in one faction and dominating the others. Eventually taking control of the country. And I'm not talking strong leader as we'd see in the west. To me it just seems like it would be much more ruthless than that. Another dictator. Not something I'm advocating, mind you, I just can't see how anything else can help with the level of insurgency and violence going on. How do you quell that at this point? Diplomacy sure as heck isn't going to work. It'll take that strong/ruthless leader - and the people being sick and tired of dying for nothing. Maybe I'm too pessimistic. But when I saw/see the problems Paraguay has had moving from a dictatorship to a democracy, and that's just a little nothing country, pretty darn stable, without the gazillion ethnic groups or religious groups, just struggling economically. Didn't have the violence and chaos along with the bad economy...

Would it take the two things though, that type of leader and the people being sick and tired? Or just one or the other? Admittedly, I don't know much about the fighting in Northern Ireland, but it seems to me it only started to stop when the people said Enough and the fighting groups started to have a voice/role politically....they had more of a stake in stability. But that could be a total misunderstanding on my part. [g] I'm hazy on the details. Of course, I'm also one of those people that thinks we probably had our best chance of peace between Israel and Palestine when Hamas got elected. Because they (Hamas) then had a stake other than "hey, let's just destroy Israel." There might have been a chance to make progress. Might not have been able to get them to admit right away with their "out loud voice" that Israel has a right to exist, but might have been able to get them to let Israel exist in peace. Hmmm. Maybe I'm just too naive. But to me it seemed like we didn't even try...

So. That's what I've been thinking about lately. I think I'll stop now, before I totally alienate everyone I know. [g] I wish I could turn my brain off like I can the TV. It's too muddling sometimes, and what does it matter? Ultimately I don't get to have a say in it anyway.

Agua. l'eau. Wasser. più acqua. вода.

Water, water, everywhere. This drinking 8 cups of water a day is hard. I mean, it really is. Aside from the fact that I feel like I'm going to float away any minute, now I'm having nightmares. The other night I dreamt I couldn't stop peeing. I'm laughing, I really am, because that's just too hysterically, horribly, funny...

And so far this morning I've spilled half a glass of water on myself. At work, naturally, so I can't change. As soon as I got my glass refilled and was back at my desk - BAMM! Over it went. It's been over thirty minutes since I cleaned it up, and I'm still finding wet papers. Sigh.

Of course, partly it's because I'm so flippin' tired this morning. I did not have a good night last night. It started when I put on Animal Planet because nothing else was on. It was some kind of "Animal Precinct" marathon. Normally I won't watch that because it's just too depressing. I was smart enough to switch off the channel a few minutes into "Animal Planet Heroes: Hurricane Rescues." It was too much.

So I turned to the latest book in the Star Wars saga, part of the Legacy of the Force series. Aside from my issues with what they're doing to Jacen (Han & Leia's son) which totally doesn't fit his character that was developed in the New Jedi Order series (all 20+ books of it!!!), it's a bit of a slow pace this series. I also have issues with it because they're making Luke out to be less than he is. Sigh. I've been partly in love with Luke Skywalker since I was 5. [Probably why I'm still single, lol. Odds are I'm not going to find a light-saber swinging, saving the world Jedi-Master in this universe.]

But there I was, starting to get into the book and grudgingly accept what they're doing, when BAMM! [I'm getting addicted to BAMM-ing today, I think. Just like my over-use of exclamation points!!!!] Where was I. Oh, BAMM! they killed off a major character. One of my favorites. Now, I'm not going to say who, just in case someone out there reading this is reading these books too. I'll just say that it wasn't Luke, Leia or Han. But everyone else is fair game.

And that was it for me. Sobbing doesn't even begin to cover it. I guess I was emotionally raw yesterday. Started with the post on the BB about Bonnie losing her Dad, and I kept thinking of Grandma all day, and then the shows on Animal Planet and then the book...So I cried myself into a sinus headache, and finally fell asleep. Naturally, the damn dog couldn't be induced to cuddle. No sireee. All she wanted to do was go outside and bark at the air. Sniff. [But at 5 am this morning I was supposed to get up and feed her. I don't think so.]

So now I'm not sure I want to read the rest of this series. As much as I love SW and really like the books (at least the ones set after Return of the Jedi) I don't think I can handle losing another character. I know, I know, these aren't romances, and they can't fight in as many wars as they have without people dying, and the darker aspects are why I like these books, but really. This is the THIRD major character that's died. I'm terrified they're going to kill Luke. And I don't think I could handle that AT ALL. [Take my SW seriously, don't I?]

And, naturally, I had nightmares all night long. About hurricanes and hurt animals and water, water everywhere! Thank goodness my alarm went off when it did.

Sometimes I just wanna hit somebody...

Arghhhh. I've been planning my 4th of July Party since last year. Because the city I live in launches the fireworks - literally - over my house. It's the most amazing fireworks display I've seen since the ones on base in Germany. And since I'll be up all night anyway, why not have the party at my place? So I told everyone last year, and have invited everyone for this year (in the process, not everyone has their invites yet.) My so-called best friend, who just had her annual party last Saturday, announced to me this past Monday that she's having a party on the 4th. When I said, "hey, it's at my place this year, remember?" She went "oh, I forgot." Well, she's still planning on having the party! Even though our set of friends overlaps, and as my best friend, I really wanted her to come to my party...

So today I approached her and asked if she wouldn't mind postponing her party until later this summer, maybe Labor Day weekend? Since she just had a party, and I've been planning mine since last year...To which she responded "But I've already invited people." Umm, so have I. So she said she would but only if she could invite her people to my party. Duh. It's the same freakin' group of friends! And then she says "what are you serving?" Naturally, it being the 4th and all, I'm serving hamburgers and hot dogs. She goes "Oh, no, I was going to roast a pig's rump." I said she could bring her own grill and do that, but we're having hamburgers and hot dogs. She goes "The pig rump will feed everyone." To which I said "Remember, I don't like pig, and this is the 4th of July." So we're having burgers and dogs.

She's going to be cranky about this. She's probably going to hold her own party anyway, or try to commandeer mine. And I'm really tempted to tell her to go take a flying leap...Sigh.

It's not like she's being really friendly lately anyway. I came to her party even though she barely spoke to me for weeks beforehand, STILL hasn't asked me how I'm doing with Grandma's death (and reading about Bonnie's dad on the BB had me in tears in seconds, so I guess I'm not doing so good!) and didn't say hello to me when I got there. Seriously. Just frowned at me when I told her I'd also brought a bag of ice and put it in the freezer since I didn't know where the drinks were going. She was pissed I'd done that. Hello???? I just don't get it. But she was all smiles and sunshine for everyone else. She didn't even say 2 words to me during the party. Bizarre...her stepmom was very surprised. See, it's not just me. Someone else noticed.

But I didn't mean to get all of topic. I'm having a party on the 4th, I stood up for myself and, not unreasonably I think, quite nicely asked if she could switch her party date.

Found a new recipe on SparkRecipes.com. Crock Pot Lemon Chicken. Okay, I baked it in a corningware dish, used 2 limes instead of lemons, 1 cup of chicken broth using a bouillon cube and I cut up 2 small potatoes and baked them in with the chicken. Also didn't put in the garlic (migraines 'r us, that stuff). It was de-li-cious. :) A little too much Italian Seasoning, but it was easy to make and easy to eat. Gonna keep that one on my list!

I also got in 40 minutes of QiGong last night in addition to completing Abs #1 in the morning. Hurt like heck today (shouldn't have moved the washer & dryer alone on Sunday) but it's a good day to be me. :) And I'm halfway to my 8 glasses of water today.

I'm b-a-a-a-c-k....

Finally. Didn't realize it had been so long since I'd posted. Last week was unusually busy for me. At work and after. :) That and my usual laziness kicked in. And my obsessive compulsive tendencies. Really got into the SparkPeople group one of the ladies on the BB set up for the Revvers. See, you get these points, and well, I really went all out to get points. LOL. Stop the madness! I think I'm okay now.

So this weekend was interesting. Started it off by spending a couple more hours at my little sister's working on the veggie garden. We got in 4 types of cucumber (one of them lemon cucumbers, can't wait to try those!), carrots - purple, yellow, red, white and the normal orange, celery, and a gazillion potatoes. The fence also got up. At least, half of it. But all the posts are in, and we didn't have to do it. Michelle "bribed" a couple of the young guys that work for her. Amazing what the promise of a home-cooked meal and 20 bucks will get a guy to do. ;) MOOG.

Saturday was a friend's big party: The Pig Roast. It was fun. Except at one point, toward the end of the evening, I found myself sitting in front of the firepit watching the "flame master" attempt to get the fire going (smoked me out eventually), sandwhiched between a biker and a hobo. And I'm not just saying that. He is/was a hobo. Although he doesn't do much train hopping anymore since he lost one of his legs a few years back. But his stories were fascinating. He goes by the name Frog. It was a weird evening though. Another of those "stranger in a strange land" moments. Eventually I was all peopled out and couldn't take the smoke. So I left.

Sunday I reorganized the laundry room. In the middle of moving the washing machine & dryer - by myself - I said a few thank-you's to the BodyRev and Alden. [g] It sure made the task easier. Not that I'm all miss body-builder or anything. But at least I could get the job done.

So. I'm also back in another respect. I'm back into REVing. Here are my minimum goals for this week:

3x Abs #1
1x each Arms, Cardio, Legs

I want to be doing 30 minutes a day by this time next week. To get back to where I was. I'm currently fluctuating between 160 and 165, and am determined to not only keep that 25 lbs OFF, but to lose the next 20 lbs. :)

For those of you not aware, last August I started using the BodyRev to work out. It's been amazing! I love how easily it fits into my schedule, and the fact that each 15 minute workout actually makes me feel I'm working the whole body is thrilling to me. And if I sound like an infomercial, well, okay. 'Cause I say run - don't walk - (hah, hah) to get your BodyRev. It's not just the weight-loss though. As I was telling my little sister, I love how I feel. I feel mentally more here, alert, happy, etc. I actually want to get out and do stuff. I don't just think about it, I do it. At the beginning, my coworkers were full of praise for the "new" me. I was happier at work, less "snippy" (heh, probably because I started sleeping better. Amazing how that affects ones mood!), got more accomplished, and so on. Now they're just used to the new me. I'm not, though. Sometimes when I look around at all I've been able to accomplish because I'm feeling better, and looking better (lost lbs, more toned - although I've got a ways to go!), it astonishes me. I never thought I'd be able to get myself going again. I'm starting to feel more like that person I was in the Peace Corps, right around the time I came back...

Anyway. Didn't mean to ramble on. I'm just happy, and excited to be back on track. Thanks to the Ladies on the BB and Alden for his posts inspiring us all!

Stranger in a Strange Land

Mouse - 4, Me - 0. The battle continues.

Normally I try to stay in my own little world, happily populated with the people I know and love. It's a strange little world I've been told, as I usually prefer to be alone. It's not traditional or untraditional, conformist or non-conformist, but it works well for me. My little sister's step-dad once described me as "An educated redneck." Which makes me laugh. A lot. I'll let others be the judge of that!

A few times a year I get pulled out of this comfy little world I'm in and end up a stranger in a strange land. It happened again this past weekend and yesterday afternoon.

Last Saturday evening was the bridal shower for my friend JT (soon to be JD). It was a nice party, quite fun. And we did the usual bridal shower games. The word unscramble, dress the bride in a toilet paper gown...One of the games gave each person points if they had a particular item in their purse. Okay. I had my purse with me. So did the others. (Except my little sister's mom, MB.) So I'm sitting there as they call out the items getting no points. And these other women are racking them up. Everyone's laughing and someone asked me what I have in my purse. So I tell them "Uh, keys. Sunglasses. Drivers's License. Check book. Credit Card. Swiss Army Knife. Butterscotches." You know. The necessary items. LOL. Needless to say, the knife was NOT on their list.

But as I'm sitting there watching them pull item after item from their purses, I felt that disconnect again. That observing-another-culture feeling. It's quite bizarre when you're sitting there among contemporaries. I always get it when my world and the world of suburbia connect. I don't mind it, it makes me extremely grateful that it's not my world. Because every brush with it gives me this cloying, sick feeling. Like I'm about to be sucked under for the last time.

This time, though, I wasn't alone. I was watching MB and realizing that she too sits on the edge of that world, maybe not in the same world as mine, but on the edge as well. She had a quizzical look on her face as she observed everyone and took pictures. I imagine it's the same look I get. Like you're looking at something under a microscope, studying it. She has the family, husband, home. But her job seems to have grounded her in a different reality, I guess you could say. She manages a group home for developmentally disabled adults and well, that says a lot, doesn't it?

Now, I'm not knocking a traditional or suburban lifestyle. It works for others and that's fabulous. It just always makes me feel a stranger in a strange land. The language is the same, but the words are different. I feel like I'm trapped inside a very large, very insulated bubble, and nothing is real. A land where the fact that I don't carry three different kinds of lipstick and a makeup bag with five different applicator brushes is horrifying. [g] I guess from the other side of the aisle, my world makes people feel like a stranger in a strange land.

My little sister's 5th Grade Graduation ceremony was yesterday afternoon. It was interesting, yet gave me the same feeling. Sitting there with all these parents beaming with pride. [Hah! Like I wasn't beaming with pride when ST got on the honor roll - 3.95 gpa!]

Sometimes, when I'm in that "bubble", I have this almost overwhelming urge to do something. Stand up. Scream. Something. Anything. I wonder, what would happen? What would people do? Would the bubble pop?

But I don't. I didn't. I enjoyed myself and then escaped. To breathe fresh air again. And return safely to my own little world.

There's a Mouse in the House

and it ain't that cute one from Disney. Sigh. I'm not sure who is more affronted, me or the dog. Me, because I really don't want to deal with this. The dog, because the mouse pooped in her food bowl. [g] Scully was NOT thrilled. But at least she didn't try to roll in it. We must have looked a sight, the two of us. Me, freshly woken up, hair sticking up everywhere, glasses on crooked, hands on hips, staring down into her food bowl. And the dog, standing next to me, head down, staring into her food bowl.

I thought we had a visitor a few months ago when we got that first batch of nice weather. One Saturday afternoon I left the back door open for the dog so she could wander in and out at will. Early Sunday morning she woke me up whining in the laundry room/sun porch. This was not her "I want out" whine. Oh, no. It was the "mommy, save me, I'm being brave but there's something in the house I don't recognize" whine. When I got to her, she was doing that lunge forward/jump back thing she does when she's afraid but doesn't want to show it. [Mom, you might remember that from the time your feather duster almost gave her cardiac arrest!] Anyway. I could not figure out what it was. Her attention definitely centered around the "closet" in the laundry room/sunporch, but I couldn't find anything. And she stopped paying attention shortly after I got there. I surmised that is was just another ploy to get me out of bed. Sigh.

I guess I was wrong! However, this is the first sign I've seen of the mouse. Nothing in the cupboards or cabinets or laundry room closet. (I've sorted it out several times since then.) And I've been keeping an eye out for it...so maybe it's a new visitor.

The dilemma now is: use the live trap and set it free somewhere, or use a trap that kills it and be faced with a dead rodent I must dispose of. I really don't like killing live beings. Well, unless it's a spider and it's in my house. My new-agey self just can't cross that hurdle yet. I'm probably accruing all sorts of bad spider karma. But I don't know about walking around with a live mouse either. Knowing my luck, it's probably a rat. I thought about borrowing someone's cat for the weekend. You know. A really good mouser. Unfortunately, I'd probably just end up with mouse parts on my living room floor. Or my bed. Which reminds me of a former coworker who woke up one night to find the cat lying on top of his wife (my coworker's, not the cat's), contentedly munching on a mouse. Oh, the horror!

[All you non-city folk can stop laughing at me now.]