Wading In

So I've been preoccupied, naturally, with the health care reform attempts going on in Washington. Especially now, since my employer lost a government contract that provided a third of our income. It also cost us three full-time and two part-time employees. We are a small business. Even smaller now. Only 5 of us. And our premiums increased 35% last year, when we had 8 on staff. Who wants to bet our premiums won’t increase again in January? Didn’t think so. Odds are it will go up substantially (especially since I’ve had some medical costs – about $2000 out of pocket so far. And several co-workers have had health issues this year. We are also predominantly over 50. Only 2 of us are under that.) I’m expecting to have to start paying part of my monthly premium. Which is at $383 now. If it stays the same, if I only have to do maybe half, I could squeak by. But all extra spending would go out the window. And if energy costs or gas costs go up… After months of thought, research, and unending news coverage (ad nauseum!), here's what I keep coming back to: The free market isn't working for health care. We need a public option. Frightening, no? Especially for me. Because as the years progress, I have developed a less-is-better mentality when it comes to government. You could say I'm Anti-Federalist. But the fact of the matter is that the free market/capitalism isn't working when it comes to health care. A) It's not really a “free” market. Example: limited competition. For instance, we have 3 carriers in my state. And one of them only became available in my state about 3 years ago. So we have one big player, and two small ones. Making it easier for insurance companies to do business across state lines may help, especially in more populous areas. But not for me. There’s just not enough population, ie premium volume, in my state. Too many small businesses. B) The market is going to focus on profitability, economies of scale, supply & demand, etc. That's just the way it works. Which means there will always be a section of the populace insurance companies won’t cover, and a section they’ll try to drop, and coverages will decrease as premiums increase because costs will keep rising. C) Health isn’t a product. It isn’t a commodity. It isn’t a thing. But insurance is. So we are combining the two. I just think the public option should be a choice. Is it a perfect one? No. Will there be problems? Yes. Do I entirely trust our government to manage the program efficiently when it comes to money? Not entirely. But while the insurance companies might manage money more efficiently, they’ll cover fewer people, with less benefits. Arghh. I’m giving myself a headache. I want the public option. But I also want cost cutting. Price standardization (ie, same price for same procedure for same area regardless of who you have insurance with, or if you have insurance at all.) Reform of the court system (you think changing health care is bad…the lawyers are worse!). Something has run amok here. Maybe an easier solution would be for small businesses and individuals (whether because self-employed or pre-existing conditions) who can’t get affordable insurance on their own should be considered federal employees for the purposes of health insurance and allowed access to the vaunted federal insurance program. That would allow entry into an already existing pool, allowing for more affordable premiums. Supposedly. An intermediate step, so to speak. All I know is the system so far isn’t working. More of the same isn’t an option. The Republicans have had nearly 16 years (8 of them with White House control) to do something. It’s time to put up or shut up. Seriously. To me the rancor has more to do with the fact that they not only lost the presidential election and control of congress, but they lost to a black man advocating change. The bogeyman is in control. Sorry, but I really believe for many that is what they subconsciously feel. Racism is alive and well. They’re angry and they’re scared. The system as is, the status quo, has served them all quite well. But when you aren’t the one orchestrating the change…yeah. Reactionary fear.

New Orleans. Bourbon Street.

Sitrep: Walked 4+ miles last week and over weekend.

I was in New Orleans last week for a conference. Wandered around the French Quarter Tuesday morning. It was the nicest day there. Just wonderful. Meetings didn't start until the afternoon, so I had a half day. The conference was at the Hilton, right on the edge of the French Quarter. I wandered up Canal Street to Decatur, and then down it to Cafe Dumonde for breakfast. Beignets and Cafe au Lait. OMG. Are those beignets fab-u-lous! Managed to eat them just about every day, including for breakfast my last day there. Thank goodness for the beignet stand at the airport! That breakfast Tuesday morning was lovely. Sitting on the outside patio with a slight breeze, some coffee, those beignets, and live music. Just perfect. The cafe is right on the corner of Jackson Square, the sun was shining, there were trees, lots of greenery, a park is right in the square. Was bummed all the museums and other attractions closed by 5pm. What the heck? We were in meetings all day! So no aquarium, zoo, or WWII museum. I really wanted to see that last one. And the factory that gave tours on making a Mardi Gras float, start to finish. That would have been interesting. Had dinner at Gordon Biersch, a microbrewery. Yes it's a chain. No I didn't eat cajun/LA food. I don't do seafood, or really spicy stuff. Loved the beer at Gordon Biersch. The last night in New Orleans a group of us "did" Bourbon Street. Much less crowded than I expected, and a lot more run down. Not sure what I thought it would be like. Honestly, the buildings reminded me a lot of Paraguay. Makes sense, given their age. Wasn't enjoying the smell of pee and throw-up that wafted by occasionally. Makes me wonder how disgusting it is for Mardi Gras. Being a lightweight, I had a beer with dinner, then nothing else until we got to Pat O'Brien's about 11pm. I wanted that Hurricane glass, so waited. Drink was okay. (Half rum, half hurricane mix, which I would swear was kool-aid). Strong, though. I don't like the taste of rum, so that's probably why I didn't like it. I did like the grenade drink one of my compatriots got. That was melony/lemony or something. We also stopped at the Cat's Meow bar, which is karaoke. A few of our group got up on stage. I did not. I also got some beads, and didn't have to do anything for them! [g] Some girls were up on a balcony and threw them at the guys in our group. All I knew was beads were raining down around my head, so I grabbed them up. ;) And now I'm home and back at my desk. Ah, joy. I haven't been in the office for most of the last 2 weeks. It's no fun being back now. :(

The Canine Health Wars

I'm on the road again. Fourth business trip of the year, two more to go. And this is the second one since end of August. I get back from this one Saturday only to leave Monday afternoon for New Orleans. The South. In September. Hot. Sticky. Hurricane season. Oh, joy. I hate traveling for work. Especially with Scully being sick. She's got pneumonia for the second time since June. She's been on one antibiotic for four weeks (two more to go for that one), another antibiotic for one week, plus pred.nisone, a bronchodilator and an inhaled steroid. {sigh} Excessive to some, I suppose, since she's "just a dog". But how can I justify not doing for her what I'd do for me? She's a living breathing being. I can't just consign her to pain, distress, because she's a dog. Doesn't seem right to me. Not when I can see her struggling. I've had the talk with the vet about if it's time to let her go or not. She's 14, and the health is going. Even non-dog people I know have noticed. But the vet doesn't think so. After all, Scully is still eating well (most of the time), is moving around, going outside, etc. The fact that she begs from the neighbors when they are outside grilling is a good sign. I suppose. Although my neighbor T feels guilty if she doesn't give Scully anything. {rolling my eyes} I am forcing myself to face the fact Scully might not be with me much longer. I have several friends promising to tell me when I need to let go in case I can't face up to it myself. I'm hoping we can knock out this pneumonia soon. At least keep her comfy until Mom & Dad get her the end of September.

Skeptical Me

Sitrep: Move Office. (uck)

So much is going on in the news lately I hardly know where to start. I want to blog about health care, but I haven't quite sorted stuff out in my mind. And then there's Mi.chael V.ick. I had the misfortune of watching/listening to him on 6.0 M.inut.es last Sunday. I don't know about anyone else, but I firmly believe the man is lying. He doesn't give two hoots about animals. His opinion about animals and the way they ought to be treated hasn't changed. He said he was brought up with that attitude toward animals. Well, those kinds of attitudes don't change because he lost his NFL contract (temporarily) and went to jail (temporarily). Oh, he might not participate in dog fights anymore. He might pay lip service and do appearances with the HSUS to save face and get his career back. Frankly, I think it's a crock he's getting back in the NFL. What punishment did he really get? Not much if you ask me. Personally, I think the publicity surrounding his crimes, punishment and subsequent release have only served to increase the popularity of dog fighting, made it more "cool", and encouraged those participating in the minimal consequences endured if caught. More info: http://www.hsus.org/acf/fighting/dogfight/dogfighting_fact_sheet.html http://hsus.typepad.com/wayne/2009/08/vick-60-minutes.html http://www.hsus.org/acf/

Icon or Eyesore, It's the End of an Era

This morning at 7:40 am the three large smokestacks at the A plant in EH came down. I stopped on main street, just a block from Smith's Bar (the only other business remaining from A's hey-dey), to watch.

I'm glad the weather was overcast and damp. Definitely kept the dust from blowing across the street into EH. But just to be on the safe side, I shut the windows on that side of the house before leaving for work.

It will be nice not to have them in plain sight from my backyard. I won't miss them. But for many of the valley's residents whose families made a living there for several generations, it was a sad moment. A lot of people are disappointed they couldn't stay. But it was part of the EPA cleanup of the site. But whether they're an icon or an eyesore, it's definitely a marker of the end of an era. EH isn't a company town any more. And the outward signs of that time are disappearing.

Water Thoughts

For some reason, I’ve had water on my brain for awhile now. Perhaps it’s because we’ve been having a fairly wet summer, or the Flood classes I’m arranging for work, or going to the water park in June. It startles me sometimes how much we take water for granted here in the US. I suppose we do so in most of the “first” or “developed” countries. On the History channel the other day there was a show on bottled water and how that phenomenon evolved. A few weeks ago there was one on the power of water and it’s uses through the ages – including such things as the Bellagio fountains in Las Vegas, etc. Last night there was a show on Discovery about extreme water parks. I only watched a bit, but apparently in Wisconsin Dells, WI there are over 20 water parks on 19.5 square miles. Between them, those water parks hold 15.7 million gallons of water. Think of it. Fifteen point seven million gallons of water. For entertainment. Then I remember the lack of water in Paraguay. People just minutes walk from the town I lived in struggling to capture and store water. I read articles about the lack of potable water around the world, and how people (mostly women and children) walk hours, many times taking most of the day, to get water for household use. And what about right here at home? There are so many articles about towns having water shortages or running out (some town in GA had to bring water in by truck this summer; or was it last?). Especially out in the West. Watching American Experience: We Shall Remain this past spring on PBS, they had a short film after one of the episodes about the Navajo Reservation in Arizona (I think that was where it was). Half the reservation, about 80,000 (?) are without potable water. They have to haul water. It seems unreal to me. Water issues are intense in the West. I guess I’d thought that was really a thing of the past in the US. It’s just one other way to highlight the large discrepancies in our culture/society. Water parks that feature one ride using 35,000 gallons of water a day. Hotels in the desert with fountains that use so much fresh well water? I’m sure they attempt to recycle and reuse as much as possible, as do the water parks. It just seems so extravagant when people in the same country are hauling water to drink, wash and cook with. Absolutely bizarre. It’s not like I’m naïve enough to think closing down the Bellagio fountains or the water parks will help people across the world or in the US that don’t have water. More likely it would just hurt the people in those areas economically. But it does make me uncomfortable, and squirm in my seat at my own waste of water and how even with my experience in the Peace Corps I take it for granted.

Too Many Thoughts

I've had so many thoughts lately I want to blog about. But when I actually sit down at the computer, my mind's a blank. Things that have skittered through my mind -

• Sotomayor hearing/confirmation
• Health reform
• Returning home
• Books I've been reading

and more I just can't remember. I managed to listen to the Sotomayor hearings while at work. And watched some of it on television. I have to say, I was impressed with her performance. The way she just wouldn't rattle or lose her temper, etc, was great. She came across to me as steady, thoughtful, intelligent. And frankly, someone willing to acknowledge that we all have biases and it's good to recognize that in ourselves and understand our bias for what it is, well...she has my vote. And while I'd love someone who would stand there and say reproductive rights for women come hell or high water (ie, no overturning R v W) it's okay with me that she's moderate. It really was quite the contrast seeing her facing down a table of white haired men. I've long felt that congress doesn't have a clue where I'm coming from as a single female in her thirties. It's a frustrating feeling, really. Am I really represented? Who knows. Oh, and every time someone said (or says even now) "legislate from the bench" it drove (drives) me nuts. They are interpreting based on law and precendent. And people's interpretations/definitions change as culture/society changes. Really. Otherwise, whites could not marry blacks, women wouldn't have the vote, it would be legal to not hire minorities (including women) because of their minority status, abuse would be accepted...Legislation doesn't always keep up with changes in societal beliefs and thinking. It's often controlled by congress pandering to the loudest voting blocks in their districts, not what's best for the majority of the people in their districts, regardless of party affiliation or votes. Or it's motivated by fear; fear of something or someone different, of losing something, of that great unknown change signals. I find it hollowly amusing when legislators complain about the courts and judges not doing what they want them to do when it comes to legislation. In other words, saying that their legislation isn't legal. For Pete's Sake. That's what they were designed to do. The justice system is supposed to be a check and a balance against the legislature. They are supposed to be independent. Did nobody get taught about the deliberate checks and balances of the US system? He-llo-oh...

What it takes. (Or, Newton’s Laws Revisited)

Sitrep: 45 minutes pulling weeds (squats galore!!!)

So awhile back I blogged about exercise and Newton’s Laws, etc. Well, I got a prime example of it last week. Yard work for me exists in the realm of exercise. I used to joke with my sister that if I ever bought a house there would be no flower beds. Just lawn straight up to the walls. Because I hate to weed. With a passion. It’s amazing what I can “overlook”. Friday morning I got a panicky call from Mom M. Golden Dog Radar (who’d been off his feed starting Wednesday) definitely had something wrong with him. In her words, he was crawling under the house “to die”. So off to the vet he goes. Turns out he had some Foxtail stuck in his throat/gums. Apparently that stuff is wicked for dogs/cats. Gets in their eyes/ears/paws/hair. And if consumed, the seed pods burrow into their gums/throat. Lovely stuff, Foxtail. (If anyone remembers me posting about the absurdly fast & tall growing grass taking over my lawn, I recently began to believe it was Foxtail. Sprayed for it just before the FL trip; been waiting for dry/less hot weather to do the second spraying. Well, this vet visit confirmed it.) Looks like a $265.00 vet bill (theirs, not mine, but still…) is what it takes for me to get off my butt. In other words, it’s the “unbalanced force” acting upon me (object at rest!) to get me into motion once again. Flower beds are now weeded (to best of my ability), all the tall going to seed Foxtail along the yard fence has been pulled, and the yard and exterior parking in back sprayed again. Apparently this is what it took to get Shanni’s family moving as well. Over the weekend they’ve cleaned up their multiple acres as well. Mowing, pulling weeds, etc. At least I don’t have as much acreage at they do. But oh, how the backs of my legs hurt!!!!

Free Weekend In The Woods

Sitrep: 30 minutes treadmill, 3 days non-stop walking/standing at convention(sprained ankle!)

Through Big Brothers Big Sisters, we got a chance to go camping at a "Camp" on the Little Blackfoot. It's one of my favorite places to get outdoors, especially since it's only about 40 minutes from my house.

Don't let that water deceive you. At most it's knee deep. I'm including this one just because it's the best fire picture I've ever taken:

I bought a W.i.i

Need I say more? I just couldn't take it any more. Been wanting one for a year and a half (thanks to my visit to my brother and his family!). I've spent the last 3 bonuses/tax refunds on responsible stuff, and now that I've paid the medical bills off I found I had enough to get a W.ii. Instead of paying down some credit card debt like I should have, I got the Wi.i. And Mar.io K.art. (That one is my sister and BILs fault.) [g] BUT I did get a second wheel free, and also got an extra remote 30% off. Had little sis and her family over for dinner friday, and we had fun. Mom M is very good at baseball. KT is good at all the sports. I'm fairly good at bowling. Little Sis wasn't doing to well. Until we tried out boxing yesterday. (I only have one nunc.huk, so only one person can box. I was done with "sports" by that time, so let her have a go.) She is very, very good at boxing. Pow, pow, pow. And boy, did she enjoy that. LOL. We also played several hours of M. Kar.t. I'm much better at that. Although she's catching up fast. I've already opened up 2 new racing circuits (or whatever they're called!). Only drawback to the fun yesterday is I spent all night dreaming I was playing M. K.art. Ughh.

Mount N Erupts...

Sitrep: 2x Walk (30 minutes each, with Scully)

Okay, you've been warned. Today's post is a bit of a rant. I really, really, really hate it when people forward me those stupid chain emails about a political issue that is designed to inflame, and is completely out of date. Got one today about a Supreme Court case that was already decided. In fact, it was decided over a year ago. And in "favor" of the person who sent me the email's viewpoint. Why does this bug me? Well, frankly, it makes me think I'm dealing with a bunch of idiots here, who get inflamed for no reason and can't be bothered to check their facts. They don't really care because they're too damned lazy to find out. This is why it is so easy for the fanatics to manipulate the masses. God, it drives me crazy. It took me two minutes to find out the status of the case. Seriously. And that's without even knowing the court case name. Just the generic details. Within 5 minutes I had the actual name of the court case, plus multiple articles about it. Including current articles on what's going on now, one year later. CHECK YOUR DAMN FACTS PEOPLE. Stop spreading wrong and inflammatory information, for Pete's Sake. No wonder this country is in such a mess. We're all a bunch of moronic sheep being herded this way and that by the powers that be. I just want to scream. So here goes: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Fabulous Fourth, aka Successful Party

So the annual 4th of July party at my house went off surprisingly well, considering. I mean, I'd only been home from vacation for a week. This was by far my biggest 4th celebration with twenty-five people (my last head count) in attendance. Plenty of food, plenty of fun, plenty of excitement, and one 911 call. Yep. All's well, don't stress! About 7pm most of the guests were there and the burgers had come off the grill. The mad flood of food seekers had ebbed and I was about to fix my own plate when my little's mom comes in the back door yelling "N, we need your hose! Your neighbors started a fire!" I thought it would be a little thing, but no. Two doors over they were shooting off fireworks in the back alley, which is wide enough for a car, and bordered on the far side by an incline up to the highway. Did I mention it's covered in tall grass? That is, it was. Except I could see flames over the neighbors garage roof. Ooops. None of our hoses reached far enough. And they hadn't called 911. For Pete's Sake. You've got flames shooting 8 feet up, moving fast, there's a breeze, your garden hose doesn't reach, and you don't call 911? I did. M took charge of getting the hoses hooked together while I ran for the phone and started dragging the second hose from the front yard. We finally managed to get 2 hoses together at each end of the fire and get enough water on it to mostly get it out by the time the FD got there. But sheesh. I was shaking for an hour. It was breezy enough it could have been so much worse. As it is, a stretch about 15 feet long and 5 feet wide was burned. All the way down to the edge of the alley (dirt/gravel). Seven feet from the leading edge of my garage. Thank goodness my immediate neighbor and I are pretty good about keeping our sections clear. I'd just sprayed the whole area with weed/grass killer before leaving for FL. Rest of the evening went well. It got dark around 10pm, so we started dragging our chairs out to the front of the garage for the EH VFW show. I ran inside to put on pants (gets chilly evenings still) and on my way back out noticed everyone milling around in confusion, chairs knocked over...I heard someone say something about a fire...So I hollered "Don't tell me they started ANOTHER FIRE!" They were shooting off more fireworks in the alley...a stray dog had been hanging around, got spooked and attacked them, knocking them over. OMG. The rest of the world (ok, neighborhood) is shooting off fireworks from the very wide paved street in front of the houses, not the narrow, weed-choked alley...But these morons, oh no... So the dog got stashed in my garage, I called animal control (the police in EH). They said they'd have to come back for him after the chaos. Everyone was gone by midnight, house all clean. But there were so many unofficial fireworks "shows" the police didn't come back until almost 2 am. At least the owners had been found. I didn't realize until next day that the dog had knocked one of the garage door opener sensors down, and the wires had snapped. So now I need to fix that. What's that saying, no good deed goes unpunished? (Or is that just a song from "Wicked"?). I spent the next day sleeping on the couch. Poor Scully didn't even wake up until 10:30am. Which is when I stumbled out of bed and made her go out. I hope next year, there isn't so much excitement...

What I did On My Summer Vacation

Well, okay, it was end of spring/beginning of summer vacation. But it still counts. And it basically went like this: Pool - food - pool - food - pool - food I think you get the idea! It was a totally fun two weeks in the Florida sunshine; no rain until after I left. My three nieces and one nephew (poor fella!) completely wore me out. Especially that last week. We'd get up, have breakfast, jump in the pool. Get out for lunch, put more sunscreen on, and hit the pool again...I had to buy a swim shirt/rash guard I kept getting sunburned on my shoulders and arms. In spite of 50SPF sunscreen applied multiple times per day. We also spent a day at Wet n' Wild waterpark for niece K's birthday. OMG. That was such a fun day. Even if I did get a bit of a sunburn on the tops of my feet. Well, really. Who thinks to put sunscreen on your feet when you're going to be in the water? Except you're in line so much at waterparks...ooops. I did not go down "Der Stuka" again. Doing that in 9th grade was plenty enough for me, thanks. Spent the morning with the older kids, the afternoon with the youngest in the kiddie park and then the wave pool. She loved the wave pool. Then the last few hours we were able to take her on some of the bigger rides. She's not tall enough for the biggest ones, but there are 4 or 5 where you don't have to be 48" tall to ride. She had so much fun! We all did, really. It was a perfect day. And so was the day we were all at Mom & Dad's for the day. Parents, 3 kids, their spouses and grandkids. Heaven for my parents, I think. Last time we were all together was at a family funeral. Anyway. It was a blast playing in the pool and just hanging out. And the older 3 (12, 11, 8) were great with the five year old. I wasn't sure how they'd do with someone that much younger. The five year old was entralled with her cousins, especially the oldest. Well, break is over. More later!

It's the Dogs Turn

Scully has pneumonia. Seriously. I was really worried Saturday (almost in tears at the vet). But by Sunday afternoon she was much more herself. Took 3 days of antibiotics and a day on st.er.oids and a bronchodilator for her to perk up. Saturday was KT's high school graduation. Long, tedious ceremony. But great to see her graduate! Now to get her into college, since her mom nixed the Navy. I'll have her enrolled by end of summer. Just wait. It snowed Saturday. Yes indeed. Snow on June 6th. Heavy wet stuff. At least the ground was too warm for it to stick or turn icy. Yesterday was clear but cloudy, and a balmy 52*F. Warm enough to open the bedroom window and paint. And dry enough to deal with the waist high grass around the garage & in the "extra" parking space out back. Also managed to edge the front & back yards. All morning today it snowed. Very heavily. Big wet, wet, wet flakes. And the temp dropped to 32*F, windchill around 30*F. Cold enough I ran home at 11 to turn on the heat. My lime tree was already in shock at being repotted. I think this might just do it in...And who knows what'll happen to the veggie garden out at Shanni's. Things were just starting to show. Big Plan is to move the bedroom stuff back in tonight. If the paint smell has dissipated, the bed goes back in too. How lovely it will be to have my living room cleared out!

Out of the Chaos, pt 2

Turns out that upstairs was more modern addition. Behind the paneling, the walls are cement board (or whatever it’s called). Only they didn’t tape & mud. Instead, they put some kind of wallpaper up and then painted over that. In pink. (sob) So they can’t just tape, mud & finish. But (didn’t see that one, eh?), maybe if we left the paneling up, the taper can just put mesh over it, and then finish it. Like the stuff they do to put up those rock surrounds on fireplaces and pilasters. This was his idea, FYI, not mine. Still waiting on the taper to come out with him and take a look. And then I found out the flooring in the living room & hallway isn’t an in-store item and only available special order. With no guarantee it will be available for long. They actually had to call and find out if Pergo still carried it. So I went ahead and had that installed in the master bedroom downstairs. Unfortunately, because of damage incurred during shipping, they had to reorder two cases. So the install got pushed back. When I called to reschedule, it was wait 2 months or do it in 2 days. I opted for 2 days. Which meant the room had to be emptied over 2 evenings. (When did I get so much stuff?) And since the bedroom is empty, the paneling is a dark brown, and the new floor is a darkish wood, I should really paint. So over the weekend, with some help, the paneling was sanded and two coats of primer applied. But did I ever mention the @#%!& F.O.s used half inch diamter rope for the ceiling and corner wall trip? Taking the lazy man route, we tried painting it. Didn't work well. So last night I spent an hour or so pulling that out. Boy, were they fond of lots of really long nails. (Another reminder from Reno. #1). But (of course) there's now a half inch gap between the paneling on all walls. What to do, what to do. Buy trim (and find someone to cut it down for me) or use spackling compound/wall repair stuff to fill the gaps. It's a balancing act between less money/work and best look/resell value. I think I know which one wins. In the meantime, everything from the two upstairs rooms is downstairs in the laundry/sun room. The bedroom is now in the living room, the dining room is in the kitchen, I leave for vacation in less than two weeks, and I’ve decided maybe I should just look at getting the siding replaced instead of doing the upstairs. I’d get new floors for up there, but just paint the paneling for now. Because the siding really needs some help. Some of the wind storms we’ve had this winter & spring really beat some of the boards up. Sigh. Quick, I’m a butterfly. Someone pin me to a board, please. ‘Cause at this rate I’ll owe more on repairs than mortgage!

Out of the Chaos, pt 1

Sitrep: home renovation is my exercise this week.

There’s just more chaos? It sure seems that way. I’ve embarked on home renovation project 2, and apparently haven’t learned as much as I thought from renovation project 1. And really, it’s more like projects 2 and 3. See, it all started with my New Year’s resolution. I made two: 1) Stop chewing fingernails 2) Finish one already started house project The first went well until early April. Then it was a free for all. No more pretty nails. Now that I’m on the CPAP, I have energy enough to focus on the house. About two months ago I decided to get the flooring upstairs done. Might not have mentioned it here before, but when I moved in (three years ago!) I pulled up the ugly, dirty red carpet from upstairs room 1 only to find the carpet pad has cemented to the soft pine floor. It has to be scrapped. Well, after three years of minimal bursts of work in that room, there’s about a 1/4" inch of gunk still there. And the wood has been plenty gouged. Did I mention it sags in spot? This is upstairs… So I got quotes some flooring installation quotes. But I need a new subfloor. And nobody wants to put anything other than carpet on the stairs. Not sure what part of “I have allergies…no carpeting” they don’t understand. Then there’s the fact I hate house cleaning and vacuuming stairs just does not happen in my world. (Sorry Mom – just pretend you didn’t read that!) So. A friends dad has a construction company; someone I feel I can trust. He’s taken a look and says the new subfloor will be easy enough. They won’t have to rip out what’s there and work on the support beams. (Yay!) So for about a grand less than I thought, I can have finished floors upstairs. And 2 useable rooms. But (you were ready for that, weren’t you?) he asked what I was planning to do about the walls. They are truly a masterpiece in “Why You Should Hire A Professional” . Otherwise known as “%^&$*#@! former owners!!!”. Two different styles and coloring of paneling. Yep. One rough textured. One not. Seams don’t go in same directions, either. Anyway. He thought my plan to paint it was a bad idea. But I learned during Reno. #1 pulling paneling off walls is a Bad Idea.

Busy, Busy, Busy

So I just realized I haven't posted in about two and a half months...yikes. Time didn't just fly past, it gave me whiplash as well! Here are the "high"lights: The last few weeks of March continued w/Rock Climbing and gym time. Work hit one of our busy patches; dedicated evenings to reading. Boy, have I been reading! More on that later. April was the time killer. Shanni went to her first rock climbing competition. She got a "competitor" ribbon. Which means she completed five climbs. It was insane and so much fun. Her mom, stepdad, dad, sister & I were there. She was so stoked her Dad came. Especially since it was out of town. (Day trip). And boy was he proud of her. Was really into it. At last she's doing something he can sort of relate too. Not too academic (she intimidates all of us with her school stuff!) and not too girly. So that was great for her. The team in and of itself did fabulous. Lots of ribbons, 2nds and 1sts, etc. After the comp we hit Barnes & Noble. I was sick but didn't know it. Although the fact that I had a $20 gift card from my birthday and didn't feel like looking for anything should have been clue #1. By Monday I was at the doctor. One side of my nose was swollen, and hurt. Bizarre. Turns out I had a lovely sinus infection. First in a long time. 2 weeks of antibiotics. Yipee. Not. (Pretty sure it was from the CPAP & head cold I got. Note to self: don't wear when sick. Then Shanni's mom had a much needed surgery (not for anything life-threatening). The girls were to stay with me that night and the next until she came home. Only she had a bad reaction to the anasthesia - as in almost dying - and had to be intubated for several hours. That was Thursday of the week I was sick. Saturday the girls and I had Global Youth Service Day. Only KT forgot her event started earlier than ours, the Humane Society had to drop out because of some infection or other, and we all ended up staining a playground. Only I ended up sitting in the car because the smell of the stain was inducing a migraine...Their mom got released that day, and they were all in their own home by nightfall. Including the dogs. Did I mention all 3 dogs were at my house? Scully did not like it. Especially because the littlest one kept challenging her for Alpha. Sunday afternoon saw S's mom in the ER. After hours waiting, she was admitted and the girls went home with me. Which meant another trip out into the valley to get their stuff. And the 3 dogs. Anway. To make this long story even longer, M was diagnosed with pneumonia and was hospitalized 5 days. The first 2 in ICU, something we didn't tell the girls until it was over. But Shanni is too smart - darn those advanced classes at school - and was telling me all about pneumonia, etc. She knew it can be deadly... Anyway. That was the final two weeks of April. Not sure what happened to May. I think that was all about recovery. I even managed to forget to call my mother on her birthday. First time ever, I think. Except for the 2 years in Peace Corps. For which I am absolved because I didn't have a phone! It was also KT's prom night and somehow she ended up getting dressed at my house...It was a masquerade and the friend supposedly lending her the mask didn't so I left my nice, calm, peaceful house where KT and Shanni were in a good mood (rare) for maybe 30 minutes to run get stuff to make a mask. Everyone was at war when I returned! Ended up with me telling their Mom to be quiet, it was KT's prom; and telling Shanni if it had been up to me I wouldn't have let her go to a dance the same night as her sister's prom if it had been up to me and to be quiet for Pete's Sake - she'd make it to her dance on time!!!! Their stepdad left the house for a long walk, which made their mom mad. But really. I wanted to take a walk too. Only was too afraid the house would be blown apart if I left...Then I ended up driving KT to the prom because her step-sister left without her...and they'd driven their truck into town. WTF were they thinking???? Well. Is it any wonder by the time I got home all I could do was collapse into bed??? If there'd been alcohol in the house, I'dve had a drink! Memorial weekend was fabulous. We put in the garden out at Shanni's. We ran out of space, so it's now been extended for the pumpkins and potatoes. It was a beautiful day, the girls kept quiet (because I told M I was leaving; I wasn't wasting my Saturday with a bunch of squabbling girls. Apparently whatever she said to them after that did the trick.) I actually planned ahead and brought sunblock with me so I didn't burn!!!! And oh, the garden is lovely! We planned out the rows and marked and labeled them. There's walking space between rows, and stepdad S put in a sprinkler system so we don't have to drag the hoses around. :) Now it's June 1st, and over this past weekend I got a new bedroom floor and painted the paneling. Well, with primer. Still struggling with the final color choice. Keep your fingers crossed I don't end up spending more on paint samples than the final choice!

Sky Dreaming

Sitrep: Gym tonight.

I dreamt I was in Spain last night. Only it was my parents house here in the States. But I know itwas Spain because of the sky. The brightness of the sun, the intensity of the heat. It's how I remember the Spain of my youth, those visits to Abuela & Abuelo, and sundry aunts, uncles, cousins. In my dream it was that sky, that light, that heat that made my brain say "Spain" and not "Florida". As usual, it was a weird dream. Upon arrival, I got to my parents and after greeting my brother and his family, jumped straight into the pool. To the delight of my youngest niece who was in the pool with her mother, my sister. I can still feel how sweet that water was, how refreshing. Then it was time to leave for home. Sigh. And then the sky coming in to work this morning was wonderfully quirky. A weather front dropped around 4-6 inches of heavy wet snow yesterday, along with dropping the temps. I'm out in the east valley area, so it's pretty open between home and work. Driving west, there seemed to be a white wall swallowing the town, topped by a few clouds tinged with the colors of the sunrise. It was like those pictures I've seen of giant dust storms in Australia. Only this was white, tinged gray. Once I turned north, it changed. To the east of me, the sunrise was beautiful. The sun had cleared the snow-covered mountains, highlighting the new dusting of snow on the yellow-brown foothills, with deep green pines poking up all over the place. Little tendrils of fog curled between some of the foothills. But the road I was on seemed to be some kind of arbitrary line that white wall struggled to seep past. As if the very earth on the other side of the pavement was fighting back. I could still see the sunrise to the east, as clear and bright as it should be. As the road curved more to the northwest, the whiteness made headway. Visibility dropped to 1/10th of a mile (for me, anyway) and the sun to the east was a fading memory. Once I made that final turn west, it was all over. I was swallowed whole.

Yes to CPAP, No to Corn & Green Beans

Sitrep: 1 hour @ gym - weights both arms & legs

Had my follow up with the ENT yesterday. I have mild Sleep Apnea. The way he was talking, it seemed like he was iffy on prescribing me the CPAP. Until I told him I have to go to bed between 7-8pm in order to just get through the day. I mean, seriously. What part of sleep deprivation does he not get? But he did prescribe it and I got it today. CT scan came back looking good; just a little spot that might cause issues. Staying on Rx nasal spray and starting on Neil Med Sinus rinse 2x a day. Allergy testing had some interesting results. They call mine an "intolerance" not allergies. Milk scored high (like I didn't know that already), tomato a close 2nd. The startling ones are CORN and GREEN BEANS. These are the 2 veggies I eat most often. Frankly, they're the top two veggies I like! These are the specific items I'm to restrict to no more than 2x a week, and rotate them (copied as-is from the list): Cheese, CORN, Corn Syrup, Egg White, Egg Yolk, Wheat, MILK (Cow), Butter, Cheese, hard, Cottage cheese, Cream, Cream cheese, Ice Cream, Sour Cream, Whey, Yogurt, Orange, Peanuts, Potato, White, Tomato No more mixed veggies for me. And corn? Is this even possible? I mean, corn is in everything. Which brings to mind CO's recent post blasting the corn industry's pro-high fructose corn syrup. I thought it was a great post when I read it, now it makes me want to cry. And say, did you know that "dextrose, glucose, dextrin, dexin, dextrimaltose, caramel color, Vitamin C (!)" all have corn in them? Vitamin C??? Good, God. What next? But they gave me a huge list of foods in all the food groups that I can have, and a sample 4-day rotation schedule. My Little's mom says that's what's bugging me the most. I have my grocery budget, my shopping list, etc, all planned out. Now I have to relearn how to cook, eat, and shop. Sigh. I never did like grocery shopping to start with...

Would it Be Wicked?

Sitrep: 45 min treadmill (low intensity), 30 min rock wall climbing, 25min treadmill (low intensity), 20 min abs & thighs

Would it be terribly wicked if I lied to the library that I lost or damaged some of the Cd's of the "Jane Eyre" unabridged audio book read by Josephine Bailey, as long as I bought them a replacement copy - unabridged - only read by Susan Ericksen? She does a great job on the J.D. Robb audio books... This one, read by Josephine Bailey, is phenomenal, and costs $100+ to buy. Gulp. Or used at around $60.00. But the other unabridged editions are about half that, at $30.00, new. It's not thievery is it? At the very least it's not ethical or moral. I'm skirting the edge, aren't I? Or you're all laughing at me and thinking "oh for Pete's Sake - burn a copy!!!" It's just...would they ban me from the library? Now that would be agony. [g] We're talking skipping purgatory and going straight to hell. But this, this is the best audio version of any book I've ever heard. I guess the best answer would be to save my pennies. And in the meantime, check it out the next time I want to listen to it. I think the Wii just got demoted to #3. [g] This is now #2. A new hot water heater remains permanently lodged at the numero uno spot. Yes, I know. How responsible. But totally necessary for my sanity. And the safety of those around me. Every time I look at the case sitting there on the top of the "return" pile, I feel like grabbing it up and hugging it to my chest. Like I used to do on Christmas mornings when I got that long-awaited book...(my sis and I used to have to give Mom book lists, and restrain ourselves from buying them before Xmas. Remember that, sis?) It's so wonderful, so lovely!!!! I must have it! Eventually. [g]

Review Days [link corrected]

Sitrep: 45 minutes treadmill (too much, apparently, as my left leg is stiff & sore today)

I've been reading a lot more since returning from my sister's over the holidays. Not that I read much there...too busy playing w/my niece. But I've been reading some new-to-me authors (Thanks Janet W) and an old-to-me author. I'll start with that one. "Dark of Night" by Suzanne Brockmann note: I wrote this 2/11 after reading the book, and before coming across some author posts/comments. I just haven't posted until now due to my obsessive need to pare down words and correct myself. Not that it does much good. SPOILER ALERT I didn't enjoy this book. I do believe it is a combination of things. But I'll start by telling you my mindset when I picked it up on Friday night [a week after the release date. It was finally my turn at the library.]

1. I no longer consider her books romance. More suspense with relationships thrown in.
2. I was in the mindset for a cleverly written suspense novel.
3. I was not in the Sophia/Decker camp as neither character particularly jumped out at me to start with. Same with Tess/Nash, Dave, Tracy. Ho-hum. Although I enjoyed Tracy when first introduced to her in Into the Storm. And thought Tess/Nash had found their ho-hum HEA in their book.
4. I was very tired and really wanted a book I could escape into.

Now for the review.

About 20-40 pages into the book, I tossed it (literally) aside and watched TV instead. There was a lot of back story that needed to be explained for any potential new reader. To me, this came across as Show (then explain/tell). Kinda bogged the story line moving as quickly forward as usual. [Cranky Otter calls this "info dump". It fits.]

Sunday I gave it another go, because, well, I hate to give up on an author I like. Pretty much still the same mindset as on Friday night. I read and read, struggling, really. I felt like I was walking through mud. Or trying to run in sand on the beach. The show & tell really started to bug me. I was distracted, found myself thinking DUH, I got it, you don't need to explain what the character just said. I'm not stupid. Not a good thing to be thinking when you just want to get lost in a book.

The relationship portion had two "romantic" couples - Sophia/Dave and Decker/Tracy. For something like 5 years (not sure on the dates) there has been this dangling plot line of Sophia/Decker. After hinting in previous books (especially the last one), the pairing became Sophia/Dave. Only in the last book did I pick up on anything that might be Decker/Tracy. And it was a pretty obvious hint, since I picked it up. I don't usually read her books to pick up hints. I try to just enjoy the current story and go with the flow. Not being in the Sophia/Decker camp, I didn't really mind the pairing. Whatever. Because in my mind these aren't romances anymore, so...

I didn't feel there was much to Sophia and Dave's relationship. He was, shall we say, on the needy side? I felt smothered. Frankly, she should have kicked his ass. And he should have told her to go to hell. Putting up with all that I-love-Decker for years. What is he, some kind of masochist? Where's his pride? No respect for him on my end.

I was irritated with the characters. Especially the male characters. These men are attracted/in love with these spec ops type women, yet kept secrets to the Nth degree to "protect" their woman...Their strong, capable, kick-a$$ women? Oh, how caveman-ish. Decker, Nash, and finally, when Dave wouldn't tell Sophia something, I kinda half screamed out loud. (Scully went and hid at that point.) What, are these guys clones?

This is also the point I said F-this (literally), and skipped to the end of the book. Worked much better for me that way. Jumped around after that, reading scenes that popped out at me, etc.

So please note, that probably does affect my understanding of some points I didn't "get":

1. Why the hell was Jules/FBI involved in this? Even "unofficially".
2. Why the hell was the entire Troubleshooters office gone? Tom's making that much money in the first five years of his business they can do that? Not believable to me. Maybe a small point, but still...
3. Tracy was the only one with the "hope" to pick up the inconsistencies that meant Nash was still alive? yeah, right. Her being best friends with Nash and all that. Not.
4. Decker/Sophia - their "conversation" that tied up the angst that was between them for all those books? Very blah, kinda a "huh?" moment. And I wasn't even rooting for those two.
5. Really Bad Guys are after Nash, and S&A bring their baby along? Uh-huh. Right.

Now we get to my Biggest Pet Peeve w/Ms. Brockmann.

1. sex without a condom. It's in just about every freakin' book she writes, lately. What, is that supposed to mean they're in love? They forget themselves in the passion of love and don't use a condom? Puh-leeze. At least this time she ended up pregnant.

So. That's my personal view of DON. Before I came across an author Q&A on Barnes & Noble. The first part of the Q&A that caught my attention was this line:

“It was like dragging a piano up a hill with a rope the entire time.” S Brockmann on writing Dark of Night. (Date/Time Stamp: 02-06-2009 05:46 PM. About two-thirds of the way down.) I copied the quote out because it perfectly describes how I felt reading this book.

[FWIW, this link starts on pg 1 of the Q&A. If you're up to reading it this late in the game, good luck! It took me almost 2 hours to find the correct page to link!]

The more I read, the more disquieted I got. Many of the same feelings/questions I had were brushed aside rather rudely, I thought. With a "tough s&*t" attitude.

Personally, I can understand how so many people are upset. You can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink. But if you bring that horse to water, and it drinks, but the water is vinegar, don't be surprised if the horse reacts negatively.

After ten years buying (multiple copies, several languages), reading, and promoting her books to every person I know, and in every bookstore I go to, (and this was way before she was a NY Times best-seller), I am personally insulted that I'm labeled as anti-gay because I don't like this book. That's a mighty big brush to tar & feather with.

But it wasn't enough to do that. Oh, no. She had to make other comments denigrating romance readers and so forth. The very readers that have propelled her to NY Times Best-Seller status.

Seriously, some of her comments are ones I've heard from non-romance readers, writers and press, etc. You know the ones. Who think all romance readers are stupid, uneducated, loser women.

And here's someone that got their start in the romance industry. I understand wanting to move on to bigger and supposedly better things. But to look down your nose at the very people that put you there? Not well done. And people can say all they want about her talent, but it means very little if the readers don't buy the books. That's what makes the publisher more inclined to keep publishing your stuff.

I'm sure it won't make any difference to Ms Brockmann (or her publishers). But I will no longer support someone that looks down on me. Not by word of mouth, and not by sending my hard earned dollars her way. There's no excuse, in my book, for being rude to readers who didn't like your book, and ask you very thought out, nicely phrased questions about your book.

It's another "Why" Day

Sitrep: Nothing. At. All. I'm a wee bit cranky (headache started once arrived at work due to excessive use of cleaning chemicals this weekend by our cleaning person.) Should post the review I started weeks ago on "Dark of Night" only I need to finish it up & "trim down" my wordiness. Yes, hard as it is to believe, my posts are usually trimmed down quite a bit from the original. And in the mood I'm in, I'd probably be a bit snarky in my rewrite/pare down, especially in light of some author comments I came across after reading the book & writing my review. So here are some why's from Up My Mind and Way In The Back... Why do car designers/manufacturers never take into consideration that their bigger, brighter, cover-more-area headlights are actually high-beams? Why are those bigger, brighter, cover-more-area-used-to-be-the-high-beam headlights usually on trucks/SUVs (cars that are generally higher than cars)? Why oh why do people with these high beam lights like to tailgate? Because at night, it's hard enough to see anything other than those wide area ultra bright lights blaring into my eyes from oncoming traffic. But when I'm at a stop, or slowing down, and the cars behind me don't keep a decent distance, their lights fill every single mirror and reflect into my eyes... And I do mean every single mirror...rearview and both side mirrors. It is blinding... Why do people do this? Why can't we learn that bigger (in this case, brighter) is not necessarily better? And why do I let it bother me? It's just irritating. Like the whole distance-between-cars thing. Why do people insist on tail-gating and stopping on top of each other? Hellloooooo. Please leave space between my car and yours, please. Especially when it's been half raining/half snowing all day!!!!!!!!!!! Three car accident last week on the way home from work delayed traffic for hours. Cause: tail-gating & inattention. One driver wasn't paying attention, couldn't stop soon enough, hit the car in front if it, hard. That car was parked right on top of the car in front of it, and therefore unable to do anything but ram into them. Nice, huh? If that middle car had had the proper amount of space, they wouldn't have hit the one in front. And that's from the police in the paper. Not just my thinking. Why is my break over?????

Oxygen

Sitrep: Zero. My goal is to workout at the gym 2x this week.

This lack of good sleep is really getting to me. But at least there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Friday night was the sleep study. It was interesting, and I actually slept. I got to the hospital's sleep center about 7:30 and had a ton of paperwork to fill out regarding sleep patters, etc. They hooked me up to all sorts of wires/sensors: 1 on each leg 2 on chest 2 on back of shoulders 1 behind each ear 1 0r 2 (can't remember) under chin 2 on forehead 2-3? on my head. In my hair. With sensor paste. That was NOT FUN washing out the next day. Then there were the two nasal things - like the oxygen tubes, only not tubes. They hooked over the ear and rested just at my nose. That felt really weird. One was a temperature gauge, I can't remember what the Respiratory Therapist said the second was for. I also wore 2 bands; one over my diaphragm and the other over my upper chest. They wanted me to sleep on my back all night. That was the hard part. Then she showed me how to use the oxygen "mask", in case they needed me to use it in the middle of the night. She said that if I had enough measurable pauses/stopping breathing, they would put me on the oxygen for the last 4 hours to get some readings. Okay. She helped me into bed - someone had to hold all the flippin' wires. Then turned the lights out. I'd taken my usual sleeping pill, so I was able to fall asleep. But it felt like an eternity until I did. On my back, the whole night. Of course, I was apparently so afraid of flipping onto my side, I held my arms in one position too long, and they started to fall asleep. [g] At one point I woke myself up choking/coughing/gasping for air....Those don't happen too often (because I learned to sleep on my side). I'm glad it happened during the sleep study. About 1:30 the RT woke me up and put on the oxygen mask. Apparently I'd had enough "incidents".

Got 4 hours sleep using the mask; it was lovely.

Here's what the mask looks like:

Wearing it didn't phase me at all. Although trying to talk while wearing it was a bit difficult. I guess I'm just used to wearing stuff on my head (sinus eye masks to sleep, or wrapping a heating pad around my head when I have a headache). It'll take about 2 weeks until I hear the results. Still have the CT scan of my sinuses to look forward to. Then it's back to the ENT for results from sleep study, CT, and allergy testing. Between all this stuff they have got to find a solution for me.

Frankly, I just want the darn oxygen. My little sister's mom said to me at breakfast Saturday that she hadn't realized how badly it'd gotten for me until that morning. She said "I haven't seen you this chipper in a long time." [g] Yup. So now I have to eke my way through two more weeks; luckily I've figured out that if I get 11 hours of sleep per night, I can function. Although I haven't been able to work out how, exactly, I'm going to do that with my 2 nights I'm not home until 9pm (gym nights). Oh, well. I'll survive. :)

A Tidy Line of Trash Cans

Goals: 2x gym, 1x BodyRev Bootcamp, 1x BodyRev Abs

As I pulled away from my house this morning, it struck me that I forgot to put out the trash can for pickup this morning. Actually, I forgot to take the trash out to the big trash can in the first place. Even though I told myself multiple times last night to do so. I'm not sure I really like this new system of trash pickup. It was sooo much easier when they came twice a week and simply went down the back alley and voila, trash was picked up. Having to move the trash can to curbside is apparently a task I'm not capable of doing on a regular basis. Hopefully, once winter's over and I can store the can behind the house again, seeing it on a daily basis as I pass from garage to house, etc, will be a better reminder. But as I drove to work, for some reason those rows of tidily lined up trash cans struck me. It was a "Truman" moment. What is this perfect little world I've landed myself in? A world where everyone lines up their trash cans in this neat little row in front of the house. What, are there markers on the pavement? It was eerie. My street was the only one that was "off". Because of me. Hmmm. I wonder if the neighbors and others driving past think to themselves "What's wrong with that house? Are those people insane? Why can't they get their garbage can out and lined up?" Not sure why I'm blogging about this; it just seemed to me that in spite of my not wanting to have that traditional married with 2.5 kids and a picket fence lifestyle, I seem to have caught the trappings of it.... - House - Child (my little sister) - In-laws (my little's family) - Mortgage, taxes, home repairs, putting the trash out For some reason I just wanted to scream.

And So It Begins

Sitrep: Nothing new since yesterday. Gym night tonight.

Had my annual doctor visit today; due to the lack of quality sleep/snoring/potential sleep apnea issue, I have my first appointment with the ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) doctor next week. Yippee. Not. My past experience with ENTs was not good. After 2 ENTs, multiple visits, x-rays, hearing tests (duh, I couldn't hear because the ear drops they gave me for an infection clogged my eustachian tubes - heard fine before then and after!!!), and results that said "you don't have allergies" in spite of the symptoms & past medical diagnoses to the contrary, I gave up on that field. But to get to a sleep apnea study, my doc wants me to go through the ENT. Ah'm thrilled. Seriously though. When I research S.A, I have a lot of the symptoms:

• Excessive daytime sleepiness (hypersomnia)
• Loud snoring
• Observed episodes of breathing cessation during sleep
• Abrupt awakenings accompanied by shortness of breath
• Awakening with a dry mouth or sore throat
• Morning headache
• Difficulty staying asleep (insomnia)
• Unrefreshing sleep
• Irritability/Depressed mood
• Unusual behaviors in sleep (i.e. night terrors, night sweats)

A friend of mine was talking with a friend of his about sleep and bad dreams, etc. She works in the medical field, specifically Sleep Disorders, and told him the list of sleep apnea symptoms. Turns out those extremely vivid dreams and night sweats are on the list. Finally. Something that explains the night sweats!!!! (No, it's not hormonal! Checked that already!)

Thank goodness my doc renewed the prescription for the sleeping pill. I'd be a zombie without it. Next week the ENT and so it begins...

Justified Outrage or Double Standard?

Sitrep: 30 mins Yoga (bad workout), 1x Gym (weights-legs, abs & 40 min treadmill)

So the battery on my MP3 player gave out just as I was getting onto the treadmill last night. Which means I plugged into the TV hookup. At first it was Biggest Loser, but that's losing interest for me, so when I saw Anderson Cooper 360 was starting with Obama, and the caption says "Obama Says He Screwed Up" (or something along those lines), I switched over. I have to wonder at everyone's outrage over Daschle's tax issue. Seriously. Why is everyone so upset? Because he made the mistake in the first place? Because he didn't pay it back right away? Admittedly, I haven't read any details recently. Way back this summer/fall I remember coming across something on this, but it's a vague memory at best. The way I look at it, we have a double standard for politicians and rich people when it comes to taxes. We love to flay them alive for tax mistakes, not paying enough taxes, etc. Yet how many of us scramble each year on our own taxes to pay as little as possible? How many of us have made errors and don't know it yet because we're small fry where IRS audits are concerned? How many of us have deliberately misrepresented facts or left off income all-together? What about my little sister's step dad, who had a home business with his first wife (decades ago) and she didn't file their taxes like she told him she did? It took until a few years ago for the IRS to figure it out and start attaching his refunds (and stimulus checks; his new wife's too, since they filed jointly when they got married, having no knowledge he owed back taxes.) No body is flaying him alive, or denying him a job (and yep, he worked for years where he managed budgets and finances for an adult group home.) And I gotta say, how many people when contacted by the IRS run right out and write that check. Wouldn't logic say "Look into this? What's going on?" Seriously. Is the issue in Daschle's case fraud? Was it deliberate? Will it affect his job performance? What if he didn't have the liquid funds to just write a check for $100,000? (That's the figure I thought I heard?). Speaking for myself, I'm going to do everything I know to minimize how much tax I pay. And if my CPA makes a mistake then so be it. If I ended up owing, you better believe I wouldn't be writing a check willy-nilly. Not with the horror stories I've heard about the IRS. I'd be demanding a review or whatever. And delaying as long as possible before paying the money. (And yes, my CPA has made a mistake, only it was in my benefit. He caught it after the fact and we filed the papers necessary to correct.) Maybe I'm being too generous here, but really. Is it justified outrage, or double standard? *I'm not a big Daschle fan, so my thoughts aren't out of partisanship or anything like that.

They got it wrong...

I guess this is a continuation of my last post. I watched the second part of PBS' Masterpiece Theater version of Wuthering Heights last night. It was only an hour. Combined, they gave 2.5 hours to this majestic book. They should have skipped it all together. Number One Peeve (I apologize for shouting): HEATHCLIFF DID NOT SHOOT HIMSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll say that again. Heathcliff did not shoot himself! And the whole death scene with Cathy...for Pete's sake. They left out the majority of the speeches. Heathcliff and Cathy had a heck of an emotional breakdown/fight before she died. And let's not forget the emotional meltdown she had that started her sickness to begin with. Some of the best writing of the book was left out. It was horrible. Made me think I was losing my mind, that I didn't remember the story as well as I thought (hah, I've read it so much in English I can - and have - read it in Spanish!) . So I pulled out my time-worn copy, and followed along. Yep. They left out a whole lot of the emotional, twisted, heart-wrenching speeches between Cathy and Heathcliff. And the whole scene where Edgar runs into Isabella? Puh-leeze. NEVER HAPPENED. One of my favorite scenes in the book is when she bursts into the kitches at the Grange shortly after Cathy dies, and relates how she ran away from Heathcliff, etc. Fabulous stuff. They left out a majority of the wild, obsessive, mental distraught/deranged verbiage between Cathy & Heathcliff. Made it look like, gee, Cathy got sick and died, not that in a fit of pique and stubborness and revenge she WILLED herself to die. Read chapters 11 - 16. I am soooooooo disappointed in PBS & Masterpiece Theater. What a hack job. All in all, they get a big fat F from me.

Getting It Right

Last Week’s Sitrep: Tues – 30 treadmill, 10 minutes crunches, 20 minutes bicycle Thurs – 45 minutes Life Fitness Circuit (setup w/1 set on 16 machines - weights, computerized system) Sat – 40 minutes swimming (making games up so my little & I were moving) This week: Goal - 3x workout at gym Completed 1x on Sun – 35 minutes weights (legs, arms, abs); 15 minutes Treadmill

Yet another attempt at adapting “Wuthering Heights” for film aired last night on PBS. It was okay, but disappointing so far. One and a half hours, when normally they go an hour and forty to forty five minutes. Yes, that’s only 15 minutes or so. You’d be surprised how that makes a difference. There was beautiful scenery. But the skips in the story drive me mad. An absolute lack of chemistry between the actors playing Heathcliff and Cathy was jarring to me. And the way they cut lines from some of the most important scenes, or re-worked them. Example: the scene Heathcliff runs away. He overhears the conversation between Cathy and Nelly up to the point she says it would degrade her to marry him. Then he runs off. After making her dramatic declaration “Nelly, I am Heathcliff”, in the book she soon learns he overheard, and she ends up getting sick in the rain trying to find him/waiting for him to return. Thus she ends up at Thrushcross Grange to convalesce. They trashed that whole conversation. This is one of the best scenes of the book, and lays much of the groundwork for Heathcliff’s determined destruction of them all. And then the way they kept switching the order of scenes around. The whole sketchy, jumping around, no explanations with Linton & Catherine (the daughter) at the beginning was so unnecessary. Confusing, detracts from Cathy/Heathcliff…I can only imagine what someone new to the story would be thinking. They have this problem with a lot of the film adaptations of WH. Either they don’t care to dedicate the time needed to fully adapt this book to film, or the person adapting hasn’t read the book, or read it enough. I just don’t understand, especially PBS. Maybe it’s because they’re trying to modernize Masterpiece Theater. I noticed some glaring shortening/editing of the Jane Austen films last year that left them disappointing. Why do they do this when I know they can do it right? Just look at that marvelous adaptation of “Pride & Prejudice” with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. Of course, I’m probably a bit biased as my first introduction to “Wuthering Heights” was the movie adaptation with Laurence Olivier and Merle Oberon. Granted, it’s an adaptation that only covered the first half of the book, including the end of the book with Heathcliff’s death. But the acting, the passion between the two leads, the fact that they didn’t re-work the order of the book, or alter/omit lines in the important conversations…now that is what makes the difference, I think. Ah, well. I’ll tune in next week no doubt, to see how they butcher the conclusion.

Look, it's an Elk!!!!

No, it's a Llama! "Hunter Shoots Wild Llama Thinking it's an Elk"

And I thought I had bad days. I think this might top any bad day I've ever had. Can you imagine how stupid this guy must feel? On an international level, no less!

Especially since he even wasted his tag on it. For Pete's Sake.

This is an elk. This is a Llama. Any Questions?

And this is a Moose....Grizzly Bears...Black Bears. Just in case.

Why do we let these people into my state? Oh, that's right. Money.

PS - Blogger is giving me fits lately on my work computer...so I hope this all shows up. Half the time I can't see what I've posted.

Do You Ever?

Understand this: you are the ONLY ONE who can change and cast off these shackles of limitation and turn your life into what you want it to be…until you do step forward, you will be a prisoner within yourself, a shipwrecked spirit without rudder or compass, subject to the winds of your own self-imposed limitations…or even worse, the limitations of others. ~ Alden Mills on Charlie Mike http://perfectpushup.blogspot.com/2009/01/perfect-promise-part-ii-team-perfect.html

Sometimes, when I listen to music, read a passage in a book, when the air and light are just so I feel like my inside self is doing pirouettes across the grass. As if I’m leaping through the air, like dolphins on a sunny day. Sometimes I truly understand what the Grinch felt when his heart grew two sizes. Sometimes, when I’m too tired, too stressed, too something, I feel like pulling in as much breath as my lungs can hold and just letting it out in the longest, loudest scream I can manage. Sometimes, when the sky is gray, the clouds play peek-a-book with the mountains, and it’s just plain cold out, I feel my heart squeeze tight with happiness, and can't help but sing. Sometimes, walking down a hallway at work, dealing with the minutia of life, I hear a carnival theme echo in my head. Sometimes, I don't. Do you, ever?

One Day In California

Sitrep: 60 min Weight Class (arms, legs, abs)

And I'm all done in. Not because of the class, either. My 5 year old niece is amazing, adorable, beautiful; full of sunshine and laughter. Not to mention energy. OMG. I'm not sure I can make it 2 weeks. But it would be a good way to go! Apparently she's quite taken with me. I haven't seen her since she was about 2 years old, so...From stories my sister has told, I knew she's a girly-girl. So I made sure I packed the makeup - including nail polish - I bought from my sister-in-law (who's an Avon rep now...in case anyone's interested: http://tomararogers.avonrepresentative.com/. This evening, after playing with her yesterday afternoon, most of the morning, all afternoon (including watching the little fish take a swimming lesson) I was keeping her busy while my sister and BIL cooked dinner...How?, you may ask? Why, by painting her toe nails & finger nails, of course. With my new Mulberry shade by Avon (reminder: gotta stock up, love this color!) And then we used her glitter coating polish on her toes. They called us for dinner, and we ran out into the kitchen. Okay, she danced, pulling me along. (FYI, she doesn't walk, she dances.) After she showed off her nails, she grabbed my hands and we did this spinning around thing. She ended up laying down on the floor "pretending" to fall down from being dizzy. I started to pull her up and she looked up at me and said "You're Great." A compliment, I'm told by her parents, she does not hand out lightly. [g]

Wood Pigeons

How strange that an article on wood pigeons would so recall the past, and make me falter as I read aloud.

Last night, trying to ignore the fact that my heart had decided to move into my head, I put on my headphones and listened to the audio book version of "Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier. In spite of the throbbing heart beat bouncing between my ears, the pressure, the noise of said heart beat, the ice pack over my eyes and the heating pad on the back of my head/neck, my mind latched onto this section early on in the book; this sentence in particular, coming as it did after an article in a magazine catapulted the heroine into her past. It made me remember a split second when I was in Paraguay, doing something as inconsequential as hanging my laundry on the line to dry, when my happy-as-a-lark mood was overtaken by a pang of homesickness so sharp I had to stop for a minute. To this day I'm not sure what caused it. I really was in a good mood...I can still see that moment, the clear blue sky, the sunlight, the green of the trees and grasses and colors of the flowers. I can still feel that moment; how happy I was, how nice the sunlight on my face felt, how lighthearted the breeze brushing past me seemed. The sudden sharpness of the homesickness. It might have been the peace of the moment, the sound of a child's laugh or a call from one person to another across the yard that made me remember lazy summer afternoons and weekends as a pre-teen/teen, when I could lay on my bed in my parents house and hear the distant sound of lawn mowers and kids playing outside...Sunlight and air and people, all wrapped up into one big package of home and safety. Just one of those weird overlapping of moments, I suppose. But laying there in tears, (have I ever mentioned I'm pathetic when I don't feel good?) and waiting for something to make my heartbeat get out of my ears, that paragraph and sentence, that little remembered moment, did the trick. That's the last bit of the book and the last thought I remember before falling asleep. Strange, that.

I Want to Believe

Sitrep: ~15 minutes shoveling snow It’s funny how something as simple as a movie can make you rehash your life. (Or maybe I’m the only one that this happens too?) After a tough night Friday night (I have not had a nightmare so full of death of family members since high school…) I received my two latest Netflix rentals. One was this obscure movie with Hedy Lamarr- and obscure doesn’t begin to cover it. It’s from 1933, and made in Europe; Austria or Germany to be a bit more precise. It’s barely a talkie. Seriously. Mostly music accompanying the scenes, what speech there was was confined to single sentences. It was interesting, but no phenomenal. Shocking In that for a movie from 1933, there was definite nudity. Today, it would be rated “R”. Not what I was expecting from that era. Then again, it is a European movie…they’re a lot more relaxed about nudity than us Americans. The other movie, the one that caused the retrospective, was the latest X-Files entry: “I Want to Believe”. Not your typical X-Files, really. Much more into the emotional aspect, of Scully & Mulder (yes, this is where my dog’s name came from.), of Scully’s doubts, of Mulder’s need to believe. It was actually pretty good. The final scene between the two almost made me cry. (It could have been the lack of sleep...) Although sad to say I can’t even remember how the series ended. I didn’t think they were together at the end. Were they? I feel sometimes like I’m losing my mind, the things I can’t remember. But that last season, well, when Mulder left the show and Scully was having the baby and they started in with the whole male baby as some type of savior…I tuned out. Oh, I had the show on every week, I just read or did other stuff (like talk on the phone!). It was more habit, and hope it’d return to the quality of the previous years. That’s a far cry from the days where I refused any and all phone calls during an X-Files episode. I mean, I was a fan. I even talked my mom into taping it every week for the two years I was in the Peace Corps. What a Mom, huh? (This was in the days before you could get every season of every show imaginable on DVD almost as soon as they aired. And man, were those packages TREASURED. I got a few other PCVs hooked on the show. ) When was the last time a show captivated me that much? The answer is simple: there hasn’t been. I can’t think of a single show that has hooked me like that one did. Why is that? Is it the networks/lack of shows? It seems they are all Law & Order/CSI type shows or family dramas like the Sopranos or Brothers and Sisters, or reality shows. I barely watch the Biggest Loser anymore. None of the shows capture me, transport me, make me want to tune in for an hour that’s sure to capture my mind & attention. Or is it simply that I’ve changed? I’m just not sure. There’s a certain nostalgia when I look back on the days of my enthrallment with the X-Files. I’m not sure why. It’s just weird to me, that’s all. I’ve never had any troubles obsessing over shows or books. When did that stop? Why did that stop? I kind of miss it, to tell the truth. There’s something exciting about waiting for that next episode; the enjoyment of it. Oh, I got tired of the mythology story line, but when they did the other stuff, the creepy/eerie only-the-X-Files-does-this…What a ride it was! Now it seems it’s all angst and drama on TV. Everything is so soap opera-y. Not that that’s bad, it’s just too much angst for me. [g] I want entertainment, not angst. I want substance with my entertainment, too. I want more than a 30 minute sitcom. I want something different. I want a show that's story-line driven, not character-angst driven. I want something like the early days of the X-Files, or Star Trek: TNG. Where you have character stuff, but it's the indivdual episode stories that are great. Where you can miss a week and not feel lost in the next week's episode...

All's Well that Ends Well

This was some week. Wednesday's insanity at work was followed shortly after 7am on Thursday with a call from my good friend W that her dog, Crazy Horse, had died. He was 10, old for a Great Dane, and she knew his health was fading. But when she got up, he seemed fine, wanted outisde to pee. She let him out and a few minutes later heard him whining. She went to check on him and he was facing the house, lying on the ground. She went to him, he coughed twice, and died. Anyway. Thursday was a very rough day. I made it from my house to hers in 17 minutes, half the normal time... Saturday night I had a slumber party at my house. Shanni's step-dad was at his annual "hunting weekend" (puh-leeze, these men haven't hunted in decades! One walks at a shuffle, another has a colostomy bag..."hunting" is the last thing they were doing.) So the "girls" got together at my house. Shanni, her sister KT, Michelle & Josie. We tried this new pizza place in EH (very good) and got plenty of junk food. Came home and just had fun...facials, finger & toe nail painting...wine, naturally, for the adults. I gave the vino a pass as I've not slept well in over a month and that would just make it worse. But Michelle & Josie...well, light weights doesn't cover it. LOL. I have not laughed that much in I don't know how long. To the point I spewed egg nogg all over the coffee table...Apparently I wasn't done laughing yet. Who knew? My sides hurt I laughed so hard. It was the pictures that did it...And of course, I just have to share them. But on the QT, as my Grandpa would have said. My friends don't know I'm posting these. Oh, and for what it's worth...these were taken at the beginning of the night, just as the wine was poured...

PS - Don't ever tell Josie she's a scrapper. You've been warned. ;)

One of those days

Where it probably would have been better to not leave the house. Or the bed, for that matter. Sigh. I know better, when I get this tired. I just have no tolerance. Suffice it to say, very bad day at work. Had a run in with Attila over something so stupid...I saved us $2500 on something and she could see no good in it, totally was hostile and angry and I just couldn't handle it. When I get that mad and frustrated it can only come out...you guessed it...in tears. Lur-ve-ly. Mad myself scarce when that started. Ackkk. It got better, the boss backed me BIG time, and made Attila apologize to me. Heh. Anyway. Just wanted to check in. Gotta go...at class at the library. I'm such a geek in my spare time I'm taking a free class on L.i.nux at the library. 3 nights running. Sheesh.

Sixty One Trees

Sitrep: Back-sliding, Big Time. BUT on the road last week I only had french fries 1x; and that was after two frustrating days of working on our server & workstations remotely to fix a virus someone downloaded. And my computer crashed. Ughh.

Listening to NPR on the way to work this morning, I heard an interesting fact. Some scientist (I forget from where) used data from NASA to calculate how many trees there are on the planet. Using population figures from end of the year 2005, she calculated that there are 61 trees per person on the planet. She thought it sounded like a lot; being a big tree lover, I thought it sounded kinda puny. Especially when you factor in the number of books I've read over the years. Which got me to thinking; how many trees go into making a book, anyway? So I did what I usually do, I googled it. Here's the first site I looked at, which boggled this mere mortal's mind. (Dad, you'll probably like the math more than I did.) It doesn't seem there's definite answer on that. But being a tree lover, at least the world supports 61 trees per person, and trees are replantable. So now I think I need to look at how many trees I want to add to the world yearly to make up for what I use. Well, what I think I use, which is probably way less than I really do...I just have to take one real look around my office to know I'm way underestimating. But hey. Every tree counts, right? And when I consider that I've half-jokingly said for years that I must have been a Druid or a Dryad in a former life-time, why haven't I made a serious effort at planting trees before? And speaking of Druids; this past week I was in the "Big City" for work, and went to Bo.rders. Ahhh, what a lovely place to be. I love their bookshelves that look like library stacks...just for the sheer pleasure of being in a large book store that actually focuses on selling books, I wandered aimlessly through the store, scanning shelves as I went. Guess what I found? A book on Druidry. One that examines the Druids of Antiquity (what we know, anyway) to the revival today. And everything in between. I was sooo tempted to buy it...but, alas, that darn book budget of mine. I alloted $70 from my bonus to extra book buying. And believe you me, it went fast. The one on Druids just didn't make it high enough in the pile before the money ran out. [g] Is it a sign that I found that book that got me to thinking about trees and then heard the report on NPR today? Especially since I haven't listened to the radio on my morning drive for months...I much prefer audio books. Now if the Kin.dle would just drop in price, I might forgo paper books more. Maybe.

WHO robbed the woods, The trusting woods? The unsuspecting trees Brought out their burrs and mosses His fantasy to please. He scanned their trinkets, curious, He grasped, he bore away. What will the solemn hemlock, What will the fir-tree say? ~Emily Dickinson

My Soul Is Singing

And oh what a change from yesterday morning! I woke up around 1am yesterday (November 4th) and found myself praying to God, Jehovah, Allah, the Goddess, the Force, the Universe, to please please let O.ba.ma win. Wow. I'm not quite sure what I was dreaming (I didn't feel like I'd been dreaming, and usually I can tell). But I sure wanted him to win. I didn't realize how very much until that moment. All day I felt inside like I was yelling "Please". I even did that on the drive from H to B, about 4 hours, 3 of which I managed to listen to election coverage on NPR. I couldn't believe it when they announced it. I kept saying to Michelle (they called me on my cell) that I'd believe it when McC conceded and I heard O's acceptance speech. Then I'd believe it. I'm still stunned at how much he won by...and that he won the electoral and the popular. The first time in 30 years, I heard. He flipped Fla. Stunning. And came darn close to flipping Mont. For awhile there it looked good. It was within 3%. :) And what a wonderful speech. I was smiling, crying, happy. I've never been this invested in the results of our elections before. Some Mont. issues/initiatives did/didn't get passed as I wanted. My State Rep got re-elected, YAY! The idiot county commissioner screwing up zoning for the county got booted (another yay!), and it goes on. Only two bummers (minor ones) for me: Insurance Commissioner wasn't the one I wanted, and our single representative to the House (Federal level) got re-elected. Darnit. As happy as I am; as hopeful as I am; some real depressing stuff going on out there. Prop 8 in CA got passed. AR passed a law prohibiting unmarried people (gay OR straight) in a relationship from adopting OR being foster parents? WTF? Depressing. But then you have stuff like WA allowing physician assisted suicide... The spectrum is amazing. And overall, my soul is still singing. I actually have some hope. I'm excited about the future.

When A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Sitrep: